Thursday, February 26, 2009

What if I Miss It?

Pumpkin didn't nurse before bed tonight. She did last night, and she probably will tomorrow night. She's been dropping the occasional before bed nursing, and not just on nights when I'm not home.

On the one hand, this is great. I'm all for self-weaning- it will save me from figuring out a plan for weaning her. Pumpkin is almost 23 months old now, and I'm ready to wean.

On the other hand, I'm a little freaked out. What if it is the last time she nurses, and I don't pay any attention? For the most part, I've really enjoyed nursing Pumpkin. Early on, it was a bit draining, both emotionally and physically. But now, as we are winding down, the demands are few. I love the contented look she gets when she latches on and nurses. I love the way her little hand still absentmindedly reaches up to twirl my hair (something she has done since she was first able to grab my hair). Part of me wants to know when the last time comes, so that I can really savor it.

The other part of me, which rationally points out that it would be soooo nice if Pumpkin just stopped wanting to nurse (no fuss! no whining!), ensures that I stick to my "don't offer, don't refuse" plan. This is the part of me that is winning the internal argument. But I'm paying more attention to each session now.

1 comment:

  1. Clementine10:18 AM

    Congratulations on your commitment to nursing Pumpkin! What a great time for both you and her.

    My twin girls and I just finished up nursing at the end of January when they were 15 months old. They had been losing interest for a while, starting when my supply dropped when the night feedings stopped and again when I stopped pumping. I could see the end coming, as it sounds you may as well. I didn't know when the last day would be and I didn't want it to pass unnoticed. On days when we had had good nursing sessions (different days for each), I took a few minutes alone with each of the girls to tell her how proud I was of both of us, how happy I was I could give her such a great start, how amazed I was at how she had grown and changed, and how much I love her. I felt I needed to speak those words. We stopped for good within a week or 10 days. If we had gone on for longer past that, I probably would have repeated my 'closure conversation' again. Be sure you find a way that is meaningful to you to mark this Mommy and baby (toddler) milestone.

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