tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29235839.post2213488987025008596..comments2024-02-05T05:15:04.759-08:00Comments on Wandering Scientist: Ask Cloud: Assessing the Risks of a Longer LeaveCloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09317847285050447789noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29235839.post-67785922156880880452013-12-15T16:15:28.083-08:002013-12-15T16:15:28.083-08:00My advice is to figure out the lay of the land wrt...My advice is to figure out the lay of the land wrt child care *early*. In our area, the high quality, licensed day care centers have very limited spots for infants < 1 year, and you literally have to "get on the list" while you're pregnant and sort of estimate when you plan to go back. For example, in the center we chose, there were only 6 spots in the (one) Infant Room, and then each classroom after that had 2 or 3, and much larger ratios, so getting in after a year old was easier than as an infant.<br /><br />If you're hiring a nanny that might be easier, and you can wait until you need one, and if you're lucky you may be able to hire one to start part-time while you're actually looking for a job and transition to full time when you're ready to work.<br /><br />I also think you won't know *when* you're ready to go back until you're actually on leave, and out of the first month or two parenting haze. Some people are ready to go back at 3 months, others 5 or 6, or longer. <br /><br />Good luck!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15212690454989568626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29235839.post-51664751554420384972013-12-13T14:55:36.166-08:002013-12-13T14:55:36.166-08:00That's exactly what I was thinking! Or perhaps...That's exactly what I was thinking! Or perhaps that was the prevalent point of view when I was a mom to infants 29-23 years ago. Standard bottle nipples were supposedly (?) easier to suck from, leading to lazy babies that would rather take a bottle than the breast, so I deliberately looked for nipples that were designed to make babies work a bit harder.<br /><br />As it turned out, my now 3 year old grandson got to that point, possibly following a nursing strike, where he refused the breast in favor of the bottle. I'm so proud of my daughter-in-law for pumping as long as she did (a year, I think), to ensure that he got as much breast milk as possible.MargieKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04025408160031366754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29235839.post-13118469025410063562013-12-13T13:03:06.654-08:002013-12-13T13:03:06.654-08:00Ack, people aren't kidding about the comment e...Ack, people aren't kidding about the comment eating. Grr. Long comment short.<br /><br />Can you still publish, do blog posts or develop a new skill while out on leave? It's a good way to stay in the game. If you can, hire a babysitter to come in at set times to give yourself the time/space to work on your professional development, even if you're not being paid for it.<br /><br />One friend regretted not having a job lined up because she was stressed during her leave about getting a new job. Another got a job just before she had twins and just started the new job after her maternity leave, so you could potentially look for jobs now. I do think it's easier to stay in the game than leave and come back, mainly because you don't have to go through the potentially self-doubt inducing part of job searching and interviewing while also trying to establish yourself as a parent and professional. You are unique and awesome and people will want to hire you even if they have to wait for you!<br /><br /><br />Kristin Chttp://anonymous.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29235839.post-52648745715222291532013-12-13T09:37:44.358-08:002013-12-13T09:37:44.358-08:00I just tried to respond and my comment got eaten.
...I just tried to respond and my comment got eaten.<br />Basically: there is no reason not to start networking now if you know you may possibly want a different job in another year. There is no downside to having lots of people think you're awesome. There's no way of knowing the timing on much of this, so you want good "career insurance" -- that is, knowing you're in demand, with lots of options. Arrows in the quiver. Irons in the fire. Pick your metaphor. Laura Vanderkamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06385504652419979583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29235839.post-15748716919516342562013-12-12T22:21:04.036-08:002013-12-12T22:21:04.036-08:00I'm inclined to focus on the advice about ways...I'm inclined to focus on the advice about ways to maintain your employability while on leave - I don't think it's possible to predict how you'll feel about actually working or getting a new job in the 12 months post-baby. But you can plan short courses, networking strategies etc now (and it'll be easier to have a plan now than try to make it in the sleep deprived early months!). Zenmoonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29235839.post-33995454721657897812013-12-11T17:50:24.142-08:002013-12-11T17:50:24.142-08:00I think nipple confusion is probably more prominen...I think nipple confusion is probably more prominent in parts of the country where there's much less breast-feeding and much more formula feeding. (Like where I live now.) I don't have numbers on that, that's just what it seems like when I think of the people I know who have had either problem. But the 3-5 week window should help to avoid both problems. Although there's still outliers.<br /><br />And no, most people will have neither nipple confusion nor bottle refusal no matter what they do. But both conditions are unfortunate. And breastfeeding doesn't come automatically but it does get easier for most people. Here's some more stuff on nursing: http://nicoleandmaggie.wordpress.com/2011/05/05/reverse-cycling-and-being-a-nursing-working-mom/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29235839.post-42126678716605107502013-12-11T16:15:12.909-08:002013-12-11T16:15:12.909-08:00I think we were more talking with each other than ...I think we were more talking with each other than addressing the OP's question. :) <br /><br />Although having other people be able to feed the baby is an important issue for anyone who wishes to go back to work, and at least for me, it was one that books and classes did not discuss honestly. Although all of my healthcare-provided materials and the baby care classes I went to discussed breastfeeding benefits and avoiding nipple confusion, none of them mentioned the possibility of bottle rejection. My husband and I were completely unprepared, and neither my OB/GYN nor lactation consultant provided any help when we tried to get assistance once we were dealing with it. We were lucky in the sense that I worked part time from home so was capable of continuing exclusive breastfeeding, but it was a horrible, difficult experience that introduced a lot of unnecessary stress into an already difficult transition.<br /><br />-- MiriamAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29235839.post-57453406371983129242013-12-11T13:59:08.160-08:002013-12-11T13:59:08.160-08:00I didn't have anything else to add (I didn'...I didn't have anything else to add (I didn't get any maternity leave with DC1, though we've been much better to our new hire who came in pregnant), just hoping to avoid nipple confusion if she wants to bf, as my colleague did not have a fun time with that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29235839.post-73816506705668870402013-12-11T13:47:52.430-08:002013-12-11T13:47:52.430-08:00I'm surprised to see that every single answer ...I'm surprised to see that every single answer here so far has been about baby feeding, but the OP never mentioned that specific concern even once in her question.<br /><br />To your actual question, I'm with your husband, who "said the question was unanswerable." (Maybe that explains the overemphasis on feeding in the comments?) It's going to come down to some "luck" as @Cloud said. It also depends on how you generally present in interviews. How 4-6 months of unemployment will hurt your future ability to get hired depends on how you come across to an interviewer when and if it ever comes up. "Sweaty Palms: The Neglected Art of Being Interviewed" by H. Anthony Medley is my favorite book on how to interview well, and should help you spin your own narrative properly. Highly readable. Best wishes!hushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05532820460835325762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29235839.post-90189003100032384472013-12-11T09:58:49.855-08:002013-12-11T09:58:49.855-08:00Another data point - we had read material similar ...Another data point - we had read material similar to Cloud's, and we decided to introduce a bottle at 3-4 weeks as soon as nursing was well established. Voila. We never had any problem with nipple confusion or bottle refusal. Many of the women I know who waited had bottle-refusers, which caused enormous stress. I didn't even want to bottle feed at 3 weeks - I just wanted him used to it. My husband gave him a bottle every day in order to keep up the routine, and when i was ready to be separated from him for 3-4 hours, he was ready too. (I pumped the missed feeding.)Erinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29235839.post-35273512329938965542013-12-11T06:59:38.989-08:002013-12-11T06:59:38.989-08:00We introduced a bottle of breastmilk on the second...We introduced a bottle of breastmilk on the second day with our baby 2. (to split the overnight feedings with husband) i can imagine that nipple confusion would be terrible, but it wasn't an issue for us. and i was happy to get a little restAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29235839.post-50277316714097001752013-12-11T05:56:24.089-08:002013-12-11T05:56:24.089-08:00My colleague and women who experienced nipple conf...My colleague and women who experienced nipple confusion on the mama board I was on with dc1 would strongly disagree with you. Nipple confusion was not fun for them. My colleague, with the use of nipple shields and a lot of other paraphernalia and a lot of work was eventually able to get her daughter back on the breast but many women weren't. <br /><br />Yes there are studies on the ideal window for bottle introduction. And there will be outliers, even so.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29235839.post-79576983723718941752013-12-10T20:55:28.858-08:002013-12-10T20:55:28.858-08:00Having had a baby that rejected a bottle (introduc...Having had a baby that rejected a bottle (introduced at week 4, as per all of our books), I disagree with the idea that anyone should make hard and fast rules against introducing a bottle from the start. Bottle rejection was horrible because there was no way for me to get a break from my baby (or to have relief from sleep deprivation). It also hurt my husband and my ability to share baby bonding and baby tasks. I also turned out to hate breastfeeding and would have loved to stop sooner except that I couldn't (at least not without seeing how many meals the baby would reject before finally taking a bottle, which I was just not willing to do). When breastfeeding advocates extol the benefits of breastfeeding as a bonding moment, they forget to mention that this is only true for those for whom it's true. Breastfeeding was not hard for me; I just hated doing it.<br /><br />So IMHO, it boils down to neither nipple confusion nor bottle rejection are likely but either one can happen (and neither one can be predicted). Given that, I think each caretaker needs to make their own choices about which potential negative outcome is more important to avoid. Personally, I think everyone benefits from having the baby get the bottle for a night feeding and the mom get more rest, but that's also a mileage varying thing. Some mom's handle the interrupted rest better or get lucky with a really good sleeper. <br /><br />I also recommend getting contact info for a sleep coach in your area. My husband and I found out about sleep coaches courtesy of a parent's list for his place of employment, and our sleep coach got our baby sleeping through the night and napping regularly by month 5. It took one hard weekend and about two weeks of moderate work, most of which we did ourselves. But having the sleep coach there with us in the initial time and available for follow up advice was invaluable. We picked one whose method did not require leaving the baby alone to cry (which just would not have worked for me). <br /><br />--MiriamAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29235839.post-70239959648988841732013-12-10T20:40:29.540-08:002013-12-10T20:40:29.540-08:00There were several people in my nursing support gr...There were several people in my nursing support group both times around who waited until 6 weeks and really struggled. I say introduce as soon as nursing is well established and you are past the risk of nipple confusion. Unfortunately, though, I don't think there is solid research to tell you when that is! The lactation consultants at my hospital recommended 3 weeks, so that's what we did. I'd love to see a proper study on this, even a retrospective one.Cloudhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09317847285050447789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29235839.post-52134987608093456202013-12-10T20:32:32.635-08:002013-12-10T20:32:32.635-08:00The lactation consultant in seattle recommended in...The lactation consultant in seattle recommended introducing anytime after 6 weeks to allow enough time for the mother to establish a good supply by direct nursing. This advice worked for me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29235839.post-1012382695821379992013-12-10T16:27:03.375-08:002013-12-10T16:27:03.375-08:00Re: the bottle, don't introduce before 3 weeks...Re: the bottle, don't introduce before 3 weeks either... There's a rare but unpleasant condition called nipple confusion they can get if they get a regular bottle too early. Ideally hit that 3-5 week window so you can use both bottle and breast at will.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com