I worked out an excellent schedule for this Saturday, which was the day we were going to try to get lots of chores done. After Pumpkin's morning nap, we would go to the toy store (we needed a gift for an upcoming birthday party and a paddling pool and some trucks for Pumpkin), and then we would come back and transfer her to her stroller and walk up to the local shopping center and take care of some errands there. Then we would walk home and have lunch, after which Pumpkin would take her nap while Hubby and I worked on our to do list. After Pumpkin's nap we would walk to our local park so that Pumpkin could play on the slides and the bouncy horsey (which she loves).
The experienced parents in the audience are now laughing, because they know what is coming next. Pumpkin had her own plans. She fell asleep on the way to the local shopping center, despite the fact that it was only 10:30 a.m. (her nap time at day care is 12:45 p.m.) and she was in the stroller that sits her upright so that she can look around and see the birds! and trucks! and all the other interesting things in our neighborhood. She didn't care. She was asleep within 5 minutes of getting into her stroller.
I just about had a melt down when I saw Pumpkin sleeping peacefully in her stroller. All of my plans were ruined! What would we do???? Hubby was a bit puzzled by my reaction, and (rightly) pointed out that we could just change our plans. Which is what we did. And it was no big deal.
I think that in general, I need to learn how to go with the flow more with Pumpkin (and probably with the rest of my life). It is what it is. There is no point getting worked up about it. But I don't think it is as simple as that. Hubby tends to be really good at just going with whatever happens, but that doesn't always work well for Pumpkin, either. She has usual nap times, etc., and it is best if we try to plan our days around them instead of just doing whatever takes our fancy and trying to deal with how Pumpkin reacts to that. There is clearly a happy medium that we need to find, in which we make plans based on Pumpkin's usual schedule, and then gracefully modify those as she modifies her schedule for the day. And in which Mommy doesn't turn an early nap into a catastrophe of epic proportions.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Uh-Oh
Pumpkin has a new word: uh-oh. She delights in dropping her sippy cup on the ground and saying "uh-oh!" She tends to use new words extensively for a day or two and then completely drop them- we haven't heard "hat" for ages, although at one point she was saying it fairly clearly. I'm not sure why she does this, but we're wondering if "uh-oh" may be the first word to go into permanent use, since she likes it so much.
"Uh-oh" is also a fairly apt description of her recent behavior at day care. She still gets described as "busy" and usually also as "happy", but the last two days have seen her described as "aggressive" and "uncooperative" as well. Apparently, she is hitting the day care workers when they try to get her to do something she doesn't want to do, and also throwing her impressive tantrums when they try to redirect her to different activities. On one hand, I'm glad that the tantrums aren't something she only does for me. On the other hand, I'm strangely bothered by the new reports from day care. Even though we all agree that her behavior is fairly normal from a developmental standpoint, I hate to see my baby getting negative marks! She has been very clingy at home, too, so I suspect some sort of developmental leap at work. Maybe this time next week, I'll be posting about her latest new skill.
"Uh-oh" is also a fairly apt description of her recent behavior at day care. She still gets described as "busy" and usually also as "happy", but the last two days have seen her described as "aggressive" and "uncooperative" as well. Apparently, she is hitting the day care workers when they try to get her to do something she doesn't want to do, and also throwing her impressive tantrums when they try to redirect her to different activities. On one hand, I'm glad that the tantrums aren't something she only does for me. On the other hand, I'm strangely bothered by the new reports from day care. Even though we all agree that her behavior is fairly normal from a developmental standpoint, I hate to see my baby getting negative marks! She has been very clingy at home, too, so I suspect some sort of developmental leap at work. Maybe this time next week, I'll be posting about her latest new skill.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Scheduling Woes
Moxie had a post today about work schedules for freelancing parents. This is absolutely not relevant for us, but got me thinking about some scheduling issues we've been having lately. For the most part, Hubby and I have a pretty equitable division of labor around the house. We both have chores that we tend to do more than the other one. I, for instance, almost always pack Pumpkin's food for day care. Hubby almost always takes out the trash. I try to do some baking so that we have homemade bread for Pumpkin (from the breadmaker, so don't get too impressed) and some other homemade goodies to try to get her to eat (so far, she like oatmeal cookies, but is unimpressed with scones). Hubby does the yardwork, because I have allergies and asthma and would be sick all weekend if I tried to do it. I also like to bake, and Hubby likes to garden. So it all sort of works out.
No one really likes to clean, so we try to split those chores. The parent who is not doing Pumpkin's bath and bedtime routine cleans up the kitchen. Periodically, one of us cleans the bathrooms while the other cleans the floors.
We also have a big shared "to do" list for the bigger chores. We keep this in Google Docs, because we are geeks and because I often add to it at work if something comes to mind. Every now and then, we look at the to do list and divide up the most important items. For instance, right now, my number one priority is figuring out our estate planning needs, and Hubby's number one priority is creating a space for a compost bin in the backyard. This also works relatively well.
What hasn't been working so well is the scheduling of the chores. Our cleaning routine has led to some seriously dirty floors and annoying weekends in which we spend all of Pumpkin's nap times cleaning, so we are now going to try a new system where the non-bedtime spouse does some chores two nights a week (one for each of us). We'll see how that works. We were going to start it last week, but postponed it when I got so sick.
The scheduling of the big chores is even more of a problem. Hubby's chores tend to involve physical labor, and need to be done during daylight hours. My chores tend to involve researching things on the internet and/or filling out forms, and could theoretically be done after Pumpkin goes down for the night. This has led to an arrangement where Hubby does his chores during the day on one or both of the weekend days, while I watch Pumpkin. I enjoy the time with Pumpkin, but it is tiring, so by the time she is in bed at the end of the day, the last thing I want to do is think about my chores. The end result is that Hubby's to do list is getting shorter, but mine isn't really budging. We had a big talk about this a couple of weekends ago, and we carved out some time for me to finish the research I needed to do on wills and trusts (I basically learned enough to decide we needed to talk to a lawyer, which we did today). So my list is mobile again. We'll see how long that lasts.
I think the fundamental problem is that we haven't really accepted how much less we can get done now, compared to our super efficient pre-Pumpkin days, so we are both striving to meet some unrealistic ideal level of to do list clearance. We really need to let that go. I'm hoping that by coming up with a set amount of "chores" time each week, we'll free ourselves to enjoy some of our weekend time a bit more. Pumpkin likes to go to the zoo and the bay, and we want to try taking her to the beach, too. We need to include these fun things in our schedule, too!
No one really likes to clean, so we try to split those chores. The parent who is not doing Pumpkin's bath and bedtime routine cleans up the kitchen. Periodically, one of us cleans the bathrooms while the other cleans the floors.
We also have a big shared "to do" list for the bigger chores. We keep this in Google Docs, because we are geeks and because I often add to it at work if something comes to mind. Every now and then, we look at the to do list and divide up the most important items. For instance, right now, my number one priority is figuring out our estate planning needs, and Hubby's number one priority is creating a space for a compost bin in the backyard. This also works relatively well.
What hasn't been working so well is the scheduling of the chores. Our cleaning routine has led to some seriously dirty floors and annoying weekends in which we spend all of Pumpkin's nap times cleaning, so we are now going to try a new system where the non-bedtime spouse does some chores two nights a week (one for each of us). We'll see how that works. We were going to start it last week, but postponed it when I got so sick.
The scheduling of the big chores is even more of a problem. Hubby's chores tend to involve physical labor, and need to be done during daylight hours. My chores tend to involve researching things on the internet and/or filling out forms, and could theoretically be done after Pumpkin goes down for the night. This has led to an arrangement where Hubby does his chores during the day on one or both of the weekend days, while I watch Pumpkin. I enjoy the time with Pumpkin, but it is tiring, so by the time she is in bed at the end of the day, the last thing I want to do is think about my chores. The end result is that Hubby's to do list is getting shorter, but mine isn't really budging. We had a big talk about this a couple of weekends ago, and we carved out some time for me to finish the research I needed to do on wills and trusts (I basically learned enough to decide we needed to talk to a lawyer, which we did today). So my list is mobile again. We'll see how long that lasts.
I think the fundamental problem is that we haven't really accepted how much less we can get done now, compared to our super efficient pre-Pumpkin days, so we are both striving to meet some unrealistic ideal level of to do list clearance. We really need to let that go. I'm hoping that by coming up with a set amount of "chores" time each week, we'll free ourselves to enjoy some of our weekend time a bit more. Pumpkin likes to go to the zoo and the bay, and we want to try taking her to the beach, too. We need to include these fun things in our schedule, too!
Monday, June 23, 2008
Searching for Meaning
Every day, I drive past two wrecked cars on my way home. They are parked on the side of the main road I drive up after getting off the freeway. The side of one is bashed in, and the back of the other is crumpled. It looks a bit like the remains of an accident, in which a car broadsided the one parked car and forced it into the one parked in front of it. In fact, that is what I assumed had happened the first day I saw the cars. I thought, "some poor people are going to have a very unpleasant surprise when they return home."
That was two weeks ago. Now I just wonder why the cars are still there. Are they part of some sort of caution to other drivers, warning us to slow down as we drive up that hill? Have the cars' owners gone on an extended vacation, and are yet to receive their unpleasant homecoming surprise? Is it some sort of modern art installation?
And the bummer of it all is that I'll never know- it is not the sort of thing that gets written up in the newspaper.
That was two weeks ago. Now I just wonder why the cars are still there. Are they part of some sort of caution to other drivers, warning us to slow down as we drive up that hill? Have the cars' owners gone on an extended vacation, and are yet to receive their unpleasant homecoming surprise? Is it some sort of modern art installation?
And the bummer of it all is that I'll never know- it is not the sort of thing that gets written up in the newspaper.
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