Weekend Reading: Science and Tech Edition

We were supposed to go to a hay ride through a display of holiday lights tonight, but it was rained out. So we're having a "special night in" instead- a dinner picnic (with chocolate milk!) in the living room while we watch some Christmas shows via Amazon Prime... We're even skipping bath. That I came up with this idea is a bit of a miracle, given how beaten I've been feeling by work and parenting and just life in general this week. Of course, I did have a 45 minute drive from day care to Pumpkin's school in which to think about ideas....

So, given the aforementioned feeling of being beaten, it probably isn't surprising that I don't have many insightful comments to go with my links tonight. But I've gathered up some science and tech links for you over the last few weeks.

First up: the story of an epic hacking that is a cautionary tale about how intertwined our online accounts are, how much damage a determined hacker can do, and how scarily easy it is to put together the info a hacker needs to take over your online life. Also, the ultimate motivation for the hacking is a sad statement on the worst of human nature.

Next, Rands had an interesting post about how tech companies succeed and fail. There are some interesting perspectives in the comments, too.

Bad Mom, Good Mom wrote a really interesting summary of an important paper about ship tracks, with implications for the weather here in Southern California.

Finally, an article about the limits of automation in information organization.  I found this link via a site called PaidContent.org. With a tag line of "the economics of digital content," I suspect I might find a lot of interesting things on that site in the future- or at least interesting to me, with my odd interest in how people who create things online might make money from their efforts.

And now I need to go help Petunia say Good Night to the moon, and get her into bed. This weekend we're getting our tree, and starting our holiday shopping, and all that good stuff. I hope you have fun plans, too!

Makers vs. Haters

I finished off a writing project over Thanksgiving weekend. It was a small project, but it was definitely a project- as in, longer than a blog post. I have been working on it all year. Literally. (And yes, I am using that word correctly in this case- I started this project in January.) It feels great to be done with it (at least until I need to make revisions). It also feels great to have proved to myself that I can indeed get a non-work project of reasonable size done right now, even if it takes the better part of a year to do it. It gives me hope for the slightly more ambitious project I have in mind to try next. That one involves coding, and so will present different issues than a writing project, but still... I feel inordinately proud of myself for having managed to complete something.

So anyway, I finished a project. Yay me! And then, for some inexplicable reason I went and read some of the Amazon reviews on some of the other books published by Xist Publishing, the company that will be publishing my children's book. Most of the reviews were positive, or at least constructive (a good, constructive negative review is a useful thing!), but there were a few that just seemed mean-spirited. Obviously, I knew that people wrote mean reviews. Still, reading these was a reminder that not everyone will happily welcome my little projects when they head out into the world. I started to question the wisdom of opening myself up to another source of things that could make me feel crappy. Boo.

Then I remembered the recent Oatmeal cartoon about creating things. His bit at the end about destructive criticism is quite apt. We focus so much on being able to take criticism well and use it to learn and grow, and that is indeed a good thing. But we shouldn't forget that not all criticism can be used in that way. Some of it will just make us want to stop creating things, which is too bad. I may never create something as good as the average Oatmeal comic and I certainly will never create something as wonderful as the Mona Lisa, but I still might create something that has some value, and it would be a shame if I refused to let my creativity out just because some people are mean.

Cranky Internet Guy

As I pondered this, the meanest of the comments I had read started to amuse me. The guy was upset because the author had "gotten her husband to take some pictures" and then "written some captions for them" or something like that (I'm not even going to waste my time going back to get the direct quotes). Well, who does he think creates the illustrations in the books put out by the big publishing companies? Someone's wife or husband, probably. Or maybe not. Whoever it is, it is just a person, not some specially anointed creater of children's book illustrations. And the words he dismisses as mere "captions" form a story that my kids rather like and ask me to read. So he didn't like the book. My kids do like the book. Who's to say who is right? Certainly in my world, my kids' opinions matter more than those of some random cranky guy on the internet.

I can handle the cranky guys on the internet. If they don't like what I create, so what? It is unlikely that they will ever have paid more than a few dollars for whatever it is I made. It is not like I plan to set out to defraud anyone of large sums of money- I will create something and people will pay some small sum for it and they will like it or not. And if it succeeds, great. If it turns out that it sucks and it fails, well that's fine, too. I can try again on something else. I can embrace the suck. Not creating anything at all is worse than creating something that sucks.

And you know what is worse than that? Sitting around hating on the things that other people create.

The Randians have it all wrong. The conflict isn't between the Makers and the Takers. It is between the Makers and the Haters. I know which side I'd rather be on.

(Also, I've resolved to start writing more reviews on Amazon, particularly 3 and 4 star ones. Those are the ones I trust. The 5 star ones always seem suspicious- I know I don't love most things that much. And the 1 star ones are often cranky internet guys. But those 3 and 4 star reviews? I reckon they'll point you to the good stuff.)

Unmarketable Truths from the Life of One Working Mom

I came across the following list in my drafts folder. I'd written it in July, in the midst of the Anne-Marie Slaughter and Marissa Mayer brouhahas. I labeled it "dirty little secrets." The list is still true. The title seemed wrong, though. I think my new title of "unmarketable truths" is more accurate- these are the things about me that fall outside our standard cultural assumptions about the lives of mothers in the workforce, and hence screws up attempts by marketers to profit off my angst. 

1. Going back to work relatively early, and staying in touch with my work while I was out on my (3 month) maternity leave helped me adjust to becoming a mother and I think it helped keep me from tipping over the edge from "sleep deprived and more than a little overwhelmed" to "seriously depressed and in need of help".

2. My work life has gotten easier as I move up the food chain. Now, the work itself has gotten more challenging/stressful, but the actual experience of working has gotten much easier. I have far more control over my schedule and much more leeway to work from home from time to time. I also have more negotiating power when I want something like a few days off without pay (because I've exhausted my PTO and still want a vacation, for instance). I try to keep this in mind and flow the freedom down to the people who report to me, but I am sure I am not perfect at that, and a lot of bosses don't even try.

3. I don't care if there are toys strewn all over my house when company stops by. Not even one little bit. My husband still cares, which used to be an occasional source of tension. But we've settled on a nice compromise now, because I do care that the bathroom not be gross. So he picks up toys and I spot clean the bathroom.

4. I wasn't all that concerned about missing milestones that happened at day care. I figured seeing the third rollover was as cool as seeing the first one. As it happens, I think I say the first crawls for both kids (in both cases, towards my laptop...) and the first steps. If day care knows otherwise, they aren't saying.

5. I don't care if my nails are manicured. I don't care if my hair is a little bit past the optimal time for a trim. I didn't care about these things before I had kids, either. Whenever some other mother is speaking wistfully about how hard it is to get time for a manicure these days, I just smile and nod. But to be fair... I speak wistfully about how I can't find a martial arts class that fits my schedule. So, to each her own method of stress relief, I suppose.

Note that I am not saying that these are true for all women. Just for me. Do you have any unmarketable truths about your life that you want to share? They don't need to be related to being a mom, or working- just things that our culture assumes is true for "all" people like you, but that aren't actually true in your case. Leave your unmarketable truths in the comments, if you'd like.

What the Kids Are Reading: First Edition

I think it is time that I admit that I'm never going to update Pumpkin and Petunia's book list again, and find a different way to periodically record the books we're enjoying. I love the idea of being able to look back and see what my girls were reading at various ages, but apparently, I don't love it enough to dig up that old post and add to it now and then.

Maybe I can instead just have an infrequent series of posts about what my kids are reading. This is the first one.

Petunia (who is 3) has a lot of really fun books right now. Her current favorite is an old one- Goodnight Moon, by Margaret Wise Brown. I think it is a favorite because she loves the moon right now. She always points it out to us when she sees it, and she likes to go outside every night before bed and say good night to it.

My favorite of the books currently in heavy rotation are All the World, by Liz Garton Scanlon and Marla Frazee. The text is lyrical, and the pictures are delightful. Petunia pays close attention to the pictures, and notices different things on different nights. It was a birthday gift from one of her classmates, and that little girl's parents say she is also really drawn in by the pictures.

Another favorite is A Mammoth in the Fridge, by Michael Escoffier and Matthieu Maudet. This is a charming and funny book. It is a translation from the French, and judging from the Amazon page, it is not easily available in the US. That is a shame, because it is one that everyone in our family loves!

Pumpkin (who is 5.5) is still hooked on the Fancy Nancy series, by Jane O'Conner. She's currently reading Nancy Clancy, Super Sleuth to herself. I'm a bit amazed by that. I bought it for her right before school started, and at that time, it was just a little too hard for her to read easily on her own. Now, it is no problem.

Her absolute favorite book right now, though, is one we have home from the library, Everything I Know About Pirates, by Tom Lichtenheld. It is a funny book, but I was surprised by how much she's liking it. We've only had it a little over a week, and I've already read it enough to be sort of sick of it!

I've also been trying to retrain my kids to view my Kindle Fire as something that can be used to read books, rather than just to play games and watch shows. I'm having mixed success with that, not surprisingly. They both will always take me up on the offer to read Caterpillars Don't Check Email, by Calee Lee, though. I can't really say what it is that makes them like this book the best of all of our kids' ebooks- maybe it is the fact that the illustrations are actual pictures and there is a little girl in them. Or maybe it is the fact that the premise makes them laugh. (Full disclosure: I got this book when Calee was running a free promo giveaway, and it is published by the same company that will eventually publish my children's book. But my kids don't know that!)

What are your kids reading now?

Weekend Reading: The Parenting Edition

I revived this blog from near-dead a little over five years ago because I wanted a place to write about being a mom. My focus has evolved a bit over the years, and I don't write that many true "parenting blog" type posts anymore. I probably should- nowhere else will I record how Petunia and Pumpkin run down the hall to see the garbage truck when they hear it coming, with Petunia yelling "huwwy, huwwy!" But for whatever reasons, those posts don't compel me to sit down at my keyboard and type.

And yet, I still love the glimpse the blogosphere gives into other people's parenting lives. There is an honesty that is hard to get in real life, either because people are trying to present an image of being a "perfect" family or because they are worried abut talking to much about their kids. Since Thanksgiving to me is a holiday about family, I've decided to put up links to some of my favorite of the parenting posts I've read recently.

First up, Antropologa with some observations on language acquisition in different cultures. I love her son's Swenglish (is that a word?) construction of "bye da!" (Sorry, I am too lazy to get the proper character there- the unadorned a will have to do.)

Tragic Sandwich has a different take on toddler communication, and the troubles with it. It is a post that perfectly captures the uncertainty and difficult decisions of average, everyday parenting. She has a much funnier post, too, with her toddler's rules for life.

The always excellent Julie at A Little Pregnant has a very funny summation of the arguments against the age four.

Cara Mama's back! Hers was one of the first blogs I read, and it went silent for awhile. I'm thrilled to see her posting again. And I loved this story about her little boy and vanquishing a bad guy with kisses.

Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project blog is not really a parenting blog, but I loved her recent post about treating herself like a toddler. Cloud gets cranky if she doesn't have her meals on time, and often has trouble with crowds.

This last link is from CNN, so neither a parenting site nor a blog. And it has nothing to do with parenting, really, but is about family and it made me say "Awwwww...." so I'm including it. It is a story about how people are using Facebook to reunite photos they have found in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy with their proper owners.

I hope you all enjoy your weekend!