Are we at the end of the beginning? The beginning of the end? Still slogging through the middle?
I have no idea.
None of today's news was really unexpected (no, not even Duncan Hunter's indictment). But it was still somehow shocking. What a mess we're in.
I don't really have anything insightful or interesting to say about the news, but I wanted to write a blog post tonight, so here I am writing it. I had originally thought I might write one of the "life logistics" posts I used to write, talking about how we make our lives all fit together. I think I will do that soon - a lot has changed since the last one, and writing the logistics out always helps me see things we could do better.
But I don't have it in me tonight. So far this evening, I have driven past the turn to get on the freeway to go to Petunia's art class, forgotten we were supposed to feed our friends' rabbits, and gone over to feed said rabbits after the kids were in bed and set off the alarm at our friends' house. I don't think my mental abilities are top notch right now! I think I'll blame it on the distraction of all the news....
Or maybe I should blame the disrupted sleep I've gotten the last few nights. Our bathroom sink drain started backing up - our two bathrooms share a pipe between the sinks, so really both sink drains were backing up - and when Mr. Snarky went to open up the pipe and see if he could clear the clog, the pipe broke. We're going to take this chance to do some other long-delayed plumbing maintenance, so the plumber isn't coming until Thursday, when he has a big chunk of time for us. This means that right now, our bathroom sinks drain into a bucket in our master bath. This is fine... except when someone washes his hands in the main bathroom after I am asleep. Then I am jolted awake by the sound of water hitting a bucket. SIGH. It is deeply unfair that I, who needs 7-8 hours of sleep a night to feel my best, am a super light sleeper, while my husband, who can skate by on 5 hours sleep no problem, can sleep through anything short of a blaring fire alarm.
It has also been a pretty hectic week. Yes, I know it is only Tuesday. But several work projects are heating up at once, and it is the last week of summer camp (the kids start school on Monday!) and to add to the fun, yesterday while I was cooking dinner, one of the wires on Petunia's braces came loose. She screamed and screamed - initially I think it was genuine pain, and then I think it was a combination of residual pain and fear about what would happen next, and then I think she just had herself so worked up she couldn't stop. Luckily, Mr. Snarky got home a few minutes after the drama started and while he called the orthodontist for emergency instructions (there was no blood, so the instructions were that it could wait until morning), I tried to calm Petunia down. In the end, it was Doc McStuffins on the TV that did the trick. By dinner time, she was able to eat and the rest of the night passed without anymore screaming.
So basically, there are a lot of things I could blame for my current distracted state.
I had a list of things I thought I might do tonight, but I think given my track record tonight, it would be wiser to just go to bed and try again tomorrow.
Tuesday, August 21, 2018
Friday, August 17, 2018
Weekend Reading: The Sick Kid Edition
Here it is, Friday already. I have spent the last two days working at home with a sick eight year old. It has gone better than I expected and reminds me once again of how some aspects of parenting do indeed get easier as the kids get older. Petunia has been prone to fevers since she was a baby. As a baby, toddler, preschooler, and even kindergartner, one of her fevers usually meant that an adult needed to spend three days on the sofa with her, comforting her. Now, she may spend three days on the sofa (we are on day two, and she is up and about working on a cardboard space console inspired by a Doc McStuffins episode), but I have only been required to come cuddle intermittently.
Of course, we had plans to go do fun things last night and tonight, and both of those had to be canceled. But at least I didn't have to take a sick day.
Despite the higher than usual amount of time I spent sitting on the sofa, I don't have a lot of links for you. Here's what I have:
I think Josh Marshall has this right: It is obvious Trump is guilty. I think that a lot of people are trying not to acknowledge that right now because to acknowledge it would require also acknowledging how poorly Congressional Republicans are behaving.
This is cool: PBS has a map of gender diverse cultures.
Ezra Klein's interview with Zeynep Tufekci about how online algorithms push us to the extremes is really, really good. I really like her point about setting up the default to push us towards healthier behaviors, and am thinking about ways to implement that idea in my own life while we work towards healthier defaults on a larger scale.
LOL:
This is awesome:
Of course, we had plans to go do fun things last night and tonight, and both of those had to be canceled. But at least I didn't have to take a sick day.
Despite the higher than usual amount of time I spent sitting on the sofa, I don't have a lot of links for you. Here's what I have:
I think Josh Marshall has this right: It is obvious Trump is guilty. I think that a lot of people are trying not to acknowledge that right now because to acknowledge it would require also acknowledging how poorly Congressional Republicans are behaving.
This is cool: PBS has a map of gender diverse cultures.
Ezra Klein's interview with Zeynep Tufekci about how online algorithms push us to the extremes is really, really good. I really like her point about setting up the default to push us towards healthier behaviors, and am thinking about ways to implement that idea in my own life while we work towards healthier defaults on a larger scale.
LOL:
It's weird that ppl interpret the moral of The Pied Piper story as "Don't trust strangers" when really it's "Always pay freelancers"— Meagan (@meagantrott) August 12, 2018
This is awesome:
when your entire party is high-level bards https://t.co/T3oTvGGn4C— jessica m (@my2k) August 15, 2018
Bunnies!
17th August 2018 pic.twitter.com/XYZldmtIji— Rabbit of the Day 🐰 (@RabbitoftheDay) August 17, 2018
Have a good weekend, everyone!
Tuesday, August 14, 2018
Uncertainty and Grace
I've developed a possibly unhealthy habit of reading advice columns. It start with Dear Prudie at Slate and has kind of grown from there. I suppose as habits go, there are worse ones.
Anyway, I was reading an advice column the other day, as I do, and there was a letter from a woman whose husband was considering petitioning for custody of his sister's kids, since said sister is in the habit of abandoning the kids with them, anyway. (OK, fine: I went and found the actual column so you can read it, too, if you want. Beware: these columns are addictive.)
There are some lines in that column that has stayed with me since I read it:
I love that concept, the idea that the way to happiness in life is to learn to accept the randomness of it, the uncertainty about what might come — and to commit to the idea that you will look for the beauty in what you receive.
Obviously, some things that we receive in life are harder to accept than others. There are things that could happen that I do not think I could see any beauty in. I am not especially prone to anxiety, but if I am going to spiral into an anxious fugue, it will usually be because my mind has started spooling out increasingly horrific "what if" scenarios.
So what I've been thinking about since I read that column is the idea that although I cannot know what life will hold for me, I can commit to try to accept what comes and build the best life I can from the circumstances I am given, and if possible, find the beauty in whatever comes.
So far, I have been given pretty good circumstances. I have no guarantee that will continue, and I can never have that guarantee. All I can do is try to plan in ways that favor a continuation of good circumstances, and that I hope would provide some buffer against bad circumstances.
I've been thinking about what it would take to really embrace that, and what, if anything, that would change about how I'm living my life. I don't have answers to those questions yet, but I'm finding them useful questions to think about.
I have also been thinking about how "happiness" seems like an inadequate word to describe a state in which you can accept what life brings and look for the beauty in it. The word that keeps coming to mind instead is "grace." I know that is not the Christian meaning of grace, but I don't think it is necessarily incompatible with that meaning.
I've started a project of reading books that explore different aspects about what "a good life" looks like and how to have it. That project is quite stochastic. I add books to my reading list as I come across them, and my scope for what fits is quite broad. Maybe the common thread among them is a search for a secular form of a grace, a way to find and embrace the beauty in our imperfect world and to build the most we can out of our imperfect, uncertain lives.
Anyway, I was reading an advice column the other day, as I do, and there was a letter from a woman whose husband was considering petitioning for custody of his sister's kids, since said sister is in the habit of abandoning the kids with them, anyway. (OK, fine: I went and found the actual column so you can read it, too, if you want. Beware: these columns are addictive.)
There are some lines in that column that has stayed with me since I read it:
I’ve come to see “how I saw us ______,” whether it’s “building our family” or “starting our careers” — or any future we envision — as a false promise at best. We can want and dream and plan, but life always gets its say. Always.
And so I see the path to happiness not as the milestones we strive for, but as a mind open to the opportunities, even beauty, in what we receive.
I love that concept, the idea that the way to happiness in life is to learn to accept the randomness of it, the uncertainty about what might come — and to commit to the idea that you will look for the beauty in what you receive.
Obviously, some things that we receive in life are harder to accept than others. There are things that could happen that I do not think I could see any beauty in. I am not especially prone to anxiety, but if I am going to spiral into an anxious fugue, it will usually be because my mind has started spooling out increasingly horrific "what if" scenarios.
So what I've been thinking about since I read that column is the idea that although I cannot know what life will hold for me, I can commit to try to accept what comes and build the best life I can from the circumstances I am given, and if possible, find the beauty in whatever comes.
So far, I have been given pretty good circumstances. I have no guarantee that will continue, and I can never have that guarantee. All I can do is try to plan in ways that favor a continuation of good circumstances, and that I hope would provide some buffer against bad circumstances.
I've been thinking about what it would take to really embrace that, and what, if anything, that would change about how I'm living my life. I don't have answers to those questions yet, but I'm finding them useful questions to think about.
I have also been thinking about how "happiness" seems like an inadequate word to describe a state in which you can accept what life brings and look for the beauty in it. The word that keeps coming to mind instead is "grace." I know that is not the Christian meaning of grace, but I don't think it is necessarily incompatible with that meaning.
I've started a project of reading books that explore different aspects about what "a good life" looks like and how to have it. That project is quite stochastic. I add books to my reading list as I come across them, and my scope for what fits is quite broad. Maybe the common thread among them is a search for a secular form of a grace, a way to find and embrace the beauty in our imperfect world and to build the most we can out of our imperfect, uncertain lives.
Friday, August 10, 2018
Weekend Reading: Still Too Hot Edition
Since I spent the week galavanting without my children (so much yummy food!) and complaining about how hot it is (coastal San Diego should NOT top 90 degrees for multiple days in a row), I don't have a whole lot of links for you.
But I do have a few.
First, I'm running a short sale on the Okay, So Look ebook. It is just $0.99 through Sunday, so if you've never read it... now's your chance! And if you like it, check out Here's the Deal - not on sale, but worth the $3.99, I think.
The "you may also like" links on the last post led me down a rabbit hole of old posts about my kids when they were little. Reading the posts I wrote for Petunia's first and second birthdays really made me smile. I went looking for posts about Pumpkin's early birthdays, and apparently I didn't start those until her third birthday. It is nice to read about my kids when they were tiny. They are huge now: 11 and 8. But still delightful, just in different ways. I should write more about these years, so that I can look back wistfully when they are 18 and 15....
In actual links:
My "if you read only one" pick this week is Adam Serwer on the ascendency of white nationalists in US politics.
But if you can find time for a second thing... Richard Flanagan's speech about the Uluru Statement is wonderful, and speaks to a broader context beyond Australia, too.
New Congressional Budget Office numbers show it is cheaper for the government to pay for Medicaid for someone than to subsidize that person's private health insurance. As the article points out, this is partially due to the fact that recent changes to Obamacare (e.g., doing away with the individual mandate) have caused the premiums for Obamacare to go up.
For all the talk about the risks of Democrats swinging too far to the left, I suspect that future historians will spend more time analyzing the impact of the Republicans swinging so far right. That and the impact of Fox News. I suspect there will be many history theses and books written about the rise of Fox News and how it changed America.
In lighter news: I need to go to Berlin.
Recommended listening: Ezra Klein's interview with Adam Davidson about taking the non-Russia story aspects of Trump's corruption seriously. I particularly like the point about the need to make there be consequences for this corruption or face a slide towards a rent-seeking economy.
Good advice:
Dance like no one is watching, love like you've never been hurt, email like it will be read in a deposition, and talk like Omarosa's in the room https://t.co/wAdxXljPW4— Margaret Sullivan (@Sulliview) August 9, 2018
Best lolsob of the week:
Honestly, I thought Kris Kobach was motivated by a genuine and deeply-felt desire to deny the maximum number of his fellow citizens the right to vote and I'm very disappointed to learn that he may have been in it for the money. https://t.co/8govSJhHva— Susan Hennessey (@Susan_Hennessey) August 4, 2018
Although this xkcd cartoon is a close second and another instant classic xkcd.
Bunny!
6th August 2018 pic.twitter.com/YoiDB4R1EK— Rabbit of the Day 🐰 (@RabbitoftheDay) August 6, 2018
Another bunny!
4th August 2018 pic.twitter.com/o1sKc4EBmF— Rabbit of the Day 🐰 (@RabbitoftheDay) August 4, 2018
Happy weekend, everyone!
Wednesday, August 08, 2018
A Nothing Update
It is still hot.
My kids are with my parents this week, so Mr. Snarky and I have had a week of grown up time. There was some kayaking, and some long walks, and a lot of food the kids would never dream of eating. I thought I'd get in some time working on my projects, too... but it is still hot, and even though the whole house fan is doing a decent job of cooling things down in the evening, I find myself heading to bed early most nights, tired and feeling lazy.
I am still waking up at or before 6 a.m. most days, so the sensible thing would have been to putter on my projects in the morning, but instead I went to work early, thinking I'd be able to head home early in return. But my meeting schedule did not cooperate.
Oh well. It has been a fun week, and I've enjoyed eating out so much. My projects will wait.
And now it is 10:30, and apparently that's past my bedtime these days. The thermostat says it is still 81 degrees in the house, but the bedrooms are cooler (and the office is hotter). Besides, I can sleep with the temperature at 81. I'm off to bed.
(Edited to add: The "you may also like" feature served up this post from when Petunia was nine months old. It was so long ago! We can have whole weeks away now! And even when the kids are with us, there is more space for our own things. The baby years are wonderful and special... but I'm really loving the big kid years, too.)
My kids are with my parents this week, so Mr. Snarky and I have had a week of grown up time. There was some kayaking, and some long walks, and a lot of food the kids would never dream of eating. I thought I'd get in some time working on my projects, too... but it is still hot, and even though the whole house fan is doing a decent job of cooling things down in the evening, I find myself heading to bed early most nights, tired and feeling lazy.
I am still waking up at or before 6 a.m. most days, so the sensible thing would have been to putter on my projects in the morning, but instead I went to work early, thinking I'd be able to head home early in return. But my meeting schedule did not cooperate.
Oh well. It has been a fun week, and I've enjoyed eating out so much. My projects will wait.
And now it is 10:30, and apparently that's past my bedtime these days. The thermostat says it is still 81 degrees in the house, but the bedrooms are cooler (and the office is hotter). Besides, I can sleep with the temperature at 81. I'm off to bed.
(Edited to add: The "you may also like" feature served up this post from when Petunia was nine months old. It was so long ago! We can have whole weeks away now! And even when the kids are with us, there is more space for our own things. The baby years are wonderful and special... but I'm really loving the big kid years, too.)
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