Leota Dress Report

I promised awhile back to give a proper report on the free dress the nice folks at Leota sent me, and since I've voted and made my final round of donations, tonight seems like a good night to tune out the election and talk about something less momentous, namely my search for work clothes.

For those who don't want to click back and read the whole story, the short version is: I decided I wanted to get a couple of work-appropriate dresses and I posted about the sartorial problems that led to that decision and also the solutions I was considering. I mentioned Leota as a brand of dress I was looking at. Apparently someone at Leota saw that post, and I got an email offering me a free dress to try.

I took them up on the offer. I used their size chart to figure my size, and determined I was a 1L in their sizing. This limited my options for a dress a bit, but they do have a nice line of "full figure" styles, so I still had some choices. I selected one of their wrap dresses with a little bit of trepidation, because wrap styles often gap on me, requiring me to wear a tank top underneath. But I had heard good things about Leota, and it was a full a figure line... so I took a chance.

And I'm happy to say, that chance paid off. I love my Leota dress. The wrap does not gap, and the dress is a flattering cut.

Here it is on me:

Obviously, my modeling skills aren't the best, and maybe I should find a place without an ugly rug behind me to take my pictures.... but I'm pretty pleased with this dress.

I chose a long day to wear it: I had a full day at a client site, and then I picked Petunia up and took her to her art lesson, during which I sat at a nearby coffee shop doing some reading for one of the projects I'm working on. Amazingly, I never had to adjust that wrap cross-over, not even once, not even as I curled up a bit in the coffee shop chair. And the dress was a very comfortable throughout the entire day. The fabric is a a matte jersey polyester, with some spandex for a little stretch. It is definitely a synthetic, but it is soft and not at all itchy.

(Incidentally, the tights were really comfortable, too. After reading everyone's recommendations, I bought some We Love Colors tights. I was on the border between M/L and 1X-3X. My usual rule when I'm on the boundary of two sizes with hosiery is to pick the larger size, and that is what I did. Having worn these, I am now pretty sure I could have gone with the M/L, but the 1X-3X did not sag or puddle, at least not in this first wearing. We'll see how they do over time.)

Back to the dress: It is machine washable, and yes I've washed it. I draped it flattish over a drying rack to dry, and the dress retained its shape beautifully. I think this dress will do particularly well for occasions where I need to travel with work clothes, because it does not wrinkle. The only downside about the dress, really, is that it doesn't have pockets. Still, I'm impressed with the brand and will probably buy more from them in the future, particularly if they bring more styles and fabrics to their full figure line.

Logistics, Time Off, and Paying for What I Read

I'm taking tomorrow off, and I'm very excited about that. I'll take care of a couple of small tasks first thing in the morning, and then after that, my plan is to not work all day.

Of course, it isn't a completely free day. We have our back to school BBQ tomorrow evening, and I'll need to drop by the grocery store and get the things we need to take to that. It could be worse: my local grocery store, the one that is just a few blocks away, is closing at the end of October. After that, it won't be a "drop by" the grocery store situation, it will be a "drive out of my way to the store" situation. A new store is going in the space, but there is going to be a major remodel in the interim, so I'll have a year of shopping some place further away. The next closest grocery store is about 10 minutes away by car, so it isn't terrible... but it will be an adjustment.

I'm also going to go meet with a personal stylist at Nordstrom. I decided to make that my first step in my "solve the what to wear to client meetings and presentations" project, because I need to try some things on to get a better feel for what styles are more likely to be flattering. If the stylist manages to turn up items that I want, so much the better.

Still, it is mostly a day off, and I'm excited. I need one. I don't know if I'll make it back to put up my weekend reading post or not. I suspect I will, but if I don't, you can assume I rollerbladed a bit too long.

It feels a little strange to be heading to Nordstrom to drop what could be a large sum of money on clothing this week, since as luck would have it we also repaired our refrigerator and replaced our water heater. But, I have the money: I'm transferring some extra profit over from my business specifically for the purpose. So I'll do it.

In amongst all the chaos caused by failure of household appliances, I also managed to do something I've meant to do for a long time: sit down and audit my online reading preferences, and make a plan to provide financial support to the site I read regularly. I'll walk you through my thinking below, because it is my blog so why not. Also, since I get a lot of my news from Twitter, who I follow influences what I read, and therefore which publications I want to send money to. So I'll note who I follow from each publication I decide to support.

The first thing I wanted to do was pick a major daily newspaper whose reporting I read regularly. In thinking back over the reporting I've appreciated (and the reporting I haven't appreciated: I'm looking at you, NY Times and your weird reporting priorities this election season), I found that The Washington Post is the newspaper site I should support. I'm constantly bumping up against their free article limit, so if I support them I'm likely to get actual value beyond the warm fuzzy of "doing the right thing." I appreciate that they have published David Farenthold's deep look at the Trump Foundation and that they are continuing to follow that story. Looking back farther, their reporter Wesley Lowery has been excellent on the police brutality story.  Also, I often find Alexandra Petri's writing really funny.

So, decision #1: The Washington Post gets $100 per year from me for a digital subscription.

I follow Alexandra Petri, because how could you not follow someone with the handle @petridishes?

I feel bad that I'm not supporting a newspaper likely to do any reporting on my home town. My own local paper isn't really a good source, although they do have an excellent reporter on the biotech beat. So instead, I've decided to support the Voice of San Diego, whose "explainers" on local politics I often find useful, particularly near local elections. (I already support my local PBS/NPR station, and hey, did you know that if you are a PBS member above a certain level you can get some of their shows streaming on demand? It is called PBS Passport and it made me so happy when I found it.)

Voice of San Diego has a membership deal, but none of the benefits matter to me, and I don't read it all that often. I thought about it and decided I get about a hardcover book's worth of value from it each year.

Decision #2: $15 per year to the Voice of San Diego.

I follow their managing editor, @SaraLibby.

Then I looked at the commentary sites I frequently visit. There are three: Vox, Slate, and Talking Points Memo. Vox is entirely ad supported. Their ads are not obtrusive, and I don't block them, so I guess that's my contribution there. That and frequently sharing out their articles. Slate has ads and also Slate+. I've been on the fence about joining Slate+ for a long time. I really like Jamelle Bouie's politcal analysis and Dear Prudence is one of my favorite short breaks. Joining Slate+ gets me extra Dear Prudence, and also access to a podcast on the history of slavery that Jamelle Bouie and Rebecca Onion did, so again, I get some value beyond fewer ads and more warm fuzzies.

Decision #3: $50 per year to join Slate+.

I follow Jamelle Bouie (@jbouie).

(I also follow people from Vox: @mattyglesias and @libbyanelson.)

Talking Points Memo also has a "plus" option. It is called Prime, and it is also $50 per year. I had to think about this one a bit more, because I tend to gravitate away from TPM in non-election years. But during election years, I really value it, particularly the editor/founder Josh Marshall's insights.

So decision #4: $50 per year to TPM.

I follow @joshtpm, their editor and publisher.

Finally, I really appreciate Mother Jones' in depth investigations. Their big one on private prisons this year was really important, but before that I found their look at stopping mass shootings and their article about the possible link between lead poisoning and crime really informative.

So decision #5: a digital subscription to Mother Jones, at $12 per year.

I follow @ClaraJeffery, their editor-in-chief.

Total cost of my planned donations and subscriptions: $227 (not counting my KPBS membership, which I think of more as supporting the entertainment I like, but also supports their reporting). That seems like a reasonable yearly expense to me. Our household total is actually a little higher, because Mr. Snarky is a devoted subscriber to The Economist, old school print edition style. I read it quite a bit, too

There are many people I follow whose publications I didn't decide to fund (e.g., @HeerJeet, whose election tweets are often really insightful), and many more fine writers and journalists who come across my feed, too. I wish I could support them all, but I'm not that wealthy.

I am not happy with the current state of how we pay for news. The model of individually subscribing/donating to a bunch of different publications seems unwieldy to me, and I don't think it will ultimately be sustainable. I actually have a bona fide business idea for a different method, but it would involve becoming a different type of entrepreneur than what I want to be, so it will stay just an idea I guess. Unless y'all buy truckloads of books so that I become wealthy enough to self-fund my idea. (This seems unlikely, but feel free to try to make it happen.)

When I started in on this audit, I planned to subscribe this month. But then the fridge broke, and the water heater started leaking, and I still had to pay my estimated taxes, and I am finally getting off my butt about the clothing situation... so now the plan is to start subscribing and donating next month. Although WashPo might get my money sooner. I think I've already hit my free article limit.

A Deep Dive on Clothing

Do you want to take a deep dive on clothing? I do, because I've actually made some progress on solving the "what the heck should I wear?" problem lately and because this morning I read an essay on Vox by Emily Crockett about women's clothing sizes. It prompted a little Twitter rant. I'll embed it here, or you can click on one of the tweets to read the entire thread on Twitter:

I also recently went from size 12 to 14 & @emilycrockett is right about the fashion cliff. < 5 lb gain sent me over. https://t.co/L7DPZHl1Fw

— Wandering Scientist (@wandsci) September 12, 2016

You could say "just lose those 5 lbs." I am trying, and shopping hell is a major reason. But it is hard to lose weight in peri-menopause.

— Wandering Scientist (@wandsci) September 12, 2016

I eat well (despite a weakness for ice cream) & am active (exercise 3-4x/week + daily walks). But I've had 2 kids & have gained a few lbs.

— Wandering Scientist (@wandsci) September 12, 2016

So finding flattering & professional clothes has become a major time & money sink. A heartfelt f*** you to fashion industry for that.

— Wandering Scientist (@wandsci) September 12, 2016

Like I said in my rant, about a year and a half ago, I gained a few pounds and that tipped me from a size 12 to a size 14, and as Crockett notes in her essay, this is like falling off a fashion cliff. Or, at least teetering on the edge of one: I can often still find size 14s at my usual stores, but there are almost never size 16s. As hard as I find shopping now, I can tell it will get even harder if I gain more weight.

Now, I'd like to be back to my earlier weight. In fact, I would like to be about 5-10 pounds lighter than that earlier weight. But I also want to enjoy life. I want to live the healthiest life I will enjoy, and given the realities of how I'm experiencing perimenopause, that probably means I'm stuck as a size 14.

So that means figuring out how to solve this clothing problem. I've been thinking about how to solve this for awhile. I wrote about it way back in March. I've decided against hiring a stylist, at least for now. I can't justify the expense. But I also need to recognize that my specific challenges require spending more money than I might like on clothing. Actually, it really boils down to one specific challenge. I am busty, and the extra weight has made me even bustier: I've settled into a 38E. This means two things: (1) I am going to spend a lot of money on bras, and (2) Anything I wear on my top will be stretchy or customized. I have tried and tried and it is time to accept that this last bit of weight gain has made it impossible to buy any non-stretchy item for my top that fits properly off the rack. It was always a challenge to do so, but I'd found some brands that worked. I cannot find any brands that work anymore.

My bottom half is significantly easier to dress. I am lucky that I can still usually buy off the rack trousers that fit, and skirts are no harder than they ever were. It is a struggle to consistently find the cuts that flatter me and I am constantly searching for decent pockets... but these are not new problems.

Having acknowledged these facts, I have made a plan. I recently accepted a project that essentially guarantees I'll make enough money to stay in business through 2018, and therefore I'm going to stop hoarding money in my business account quite so aggresively and bring some extra profit over to my personal account to allow me to buy what I need to get without worrying about how much I am spending.

I am going to spend what I need to get the following items immediately:

• One or two jackets (or structured cardigans) to wear when I need to dress up a notch. If I go with a structured cardigan, I don't need to customize, so I'm considering this one from MM LaFleur, a brand I've heard good things about. (I've considered doing a Bento Box from them, but their collection is a step too dressy for the laid back style required in my particular locale and industry. Looking like a lawyer would not be a good thing here.) For jackets, I either need to go to Nordstrom (or similar) and find one that fits across my chest and then get it tailored to fit everywhere else or order a bespoke one from Sumissura. I have no idea which will be cheaper, but I have a suspicion that I'll have to shop the plus size collection to get a jacket that fits around my chest, and I am generally unimpressed with plus size jackets. So we'll see. Also, I'm not super enthused about a shopping trip, which may tip the scales for the bespoke option.
• One or two solid or business-friendly print dresses that I can wear with a jacket or nice cardigan. I've heard good things about Leota for dresses, so I'm considering ordering from them. Or checking them out at Nordstrom. Or both. I am also considering customizing this dress at eShakti. I'd need to change the neckline, but eShakti lets me do that.
• If I can find one, I 'd love a nice business skirt in black or navy. However, I have been looking for something appropriate for quite some time, and haven't found it yet. There are lots of lawyer skirts, but see my comment above about how it would be a mistake for me to dress like a lawyer. So I'm looking for something that may not exist. I'll address this in the second part of my plan.
• Some good tights. I'm looking for a new go-to brand of tights. I used to love tights from the Gap, but either they changed or I changed (or both) and now those no longer work. Suggestions welcome in the comments. I like a fairly opaque tight. 
• Appropriately dressy (i.e., nice but not lawyer nice) black and possibly navy shoes to wear with skirts and dresses (and maybe also trousers). I want to be able to walk in my shoes without my feet hurting. I have these Taos shoes in red and they are perfect. I'd buy them in black, but they are out of my size. My need to buy black winter shoes in summer (because I was going to New Zealand, where it was winter) led me to discover how easy it is to buy shoes at Zappos, so I suspect I'll just do that.

And that's it. Once I get these things, the urgency will be off. Then, I can move to the next phase of my plan, which has exactly one step: find a good local tailor/seamstress who will make me truly bespoke clothes. I think this is likely to be the only way to solve my skirt problem. It will also provide a good way to solve future problems that crop up. Individual pieces will be expensive, but my hope is that they will be worth the extra cost because they will truly fit and be exactly what I want/need. Perhaps then I will spend less money buying the "almost but not quite right thing that will do because I need something to wear NOW" items.

OK, so that's the plan. And now I'll share what I have found that works well for me, a slightly overweight and definitely busty middle-aged woman. I share these things in case any of them also work for any of you.

• I buy a lot of my "wear to existing clients" shirts at Eddie Bauer. The men in my field wear chinos and button down shirts. Or, to be honest, jeans and t-shirts. I am never going to like the button down shirt option for everyday. Bespoke is really the only way I can get ones that don't pull and gap and look trashy, and that is expensive. Plus, I don't think the style is flattering on me.  I find that Eddie Bauer polo shirts work great for me, and I have several different colors. Their Favorite V-neck T-shirts also work great. They are thick, in a flattering cut, and with a v-neck that flatters without showing too much cleavage. I can absolutely get away with wearing one of their t-shirts to work, particularly with a cardigan. 
• Trousers are harder. Eddie Bauer bottoms do not fit me right. I used to have a favorite go-to style at the Gap, but they changed it. Then I found some nice Tommy Hilfiger ones, but those are gone now, too. Basically, when my pants wear out, I have one really crappy shopping trip where I try on a bunch of different pants. If I find something that looks good, I buy it in several colors and wear it until it fades or otherwise stops looking sharp.
• I love eShakti (that is a referral link) for dresses and occasionally for skirts and tops. I find that I like things better if I add an extra inch to my bust measurement.
• After many trials and disappointments, I have found a sports bra I love. To my surprise, it is not an underwire style, but it has an extra top clasp that makes it awesome. I am at the upper limit of its size range, though. Yet more incentive not to gain more weight.
• I like the Corporette blog for providing ideas of brands to look at. That is where I found out about MM LaFleur and Leota. It also led me to Lo and Sons bags, and I love my bag from them. The style on Corporette tends more towards the lawyerly than will work for me "as is," but it does provide new ideas and leads that have helped. 

And that's my deep dive on clothing. Feel free to leave suggestions and ask questions in the comments. 

Paying for the Things I Enjoy

I have been thinking a lot lately about how I pay for the things I like online- i.e., how I pay for the content I consume. I'm thinking about it for the obvious reason that my decision to start up a micropress makes me very interested in what convinces people to pay for content. After all, one of the things I'm competing with is the free stories people can read online.

But I've had the interest in content and who pays for it (and how) for quite awhile. I've written about this at Tungsten Hippo. The internet is set up so that the people who make it worthwhile, namely the people that produce the information that it provides, are the last to get paid. You certainly pay for the hardware you use to access the internet. You probably also pay for the bandwidth, unless you're at a university or using a public library where someone else pays for it for you. You are much less likely to pay actual money to the individual sites whose content you access, even though without those sites, you probably wouldn't care whether or not you had bandwidth, and may not even be so fussed about having certain types of hardware.

Ah, but you pay in ads or information, right? What happens to the money from those? If you look at the sites you access, chances are the distribution of money follows the same weird inversion. The people who host the site certainly get paid. The people who wrote the code that runs the site probably get paid, although a lot of sites do run off of open source tools. The people who provide the content- i.e., the writers? That's less certain. There are a lot of opportunities to write for free out there. If you don't believe me on that, I can forward you some of the pitches I get, telling me I should write a "guest post" for some site, and how they'll pay me with a link back to this site. And then, of course, there are the big sites like Huffington Post, where you can submit for the slim chance of being published and paid nothing except "exposure."

I do not know the solution to this, but in last week's Weekend Reading post I said the following, about addictive systems: "the systems we build are the results of our decisions, whether conscious or not, and we always have the option to try to make better decisions."

So, I'm going to try to make some different decisions. I have decided to think about my favorite things online and figure out how to pay the people who make them.

A lot of my favorite sites are personal blogs that don't run ads. In those cases, there is not really anyway to send them any money, unless I track them down and write them a check. (Bloggers I read- consider this a standing invitation to hit me up for a lunch next time you're in San Diego!)

But there are a lot of other things I love that I can pay for. Here's my list so far:

I love the History of the English Language podcast, and I've gotten Pumpkin hooked on it, too. So I donated via the donation button on the website, and I plan to buy the History of the Alphabet audiobook as soon as I figure out the best way to do that for how I'm going to listen to it.

I used Coffee Break French to brush up my French before our recent vacation, and I'm using Coffee Break Spanish now to try to ensure that Pumpkin and Petunia can't have entire conversations that I will not understand. Both are produced by Radio Lingua. My intention is to become a subscriber to Coffee Break Spanish, but that costs more than I can justify spending right now, so I bought the One Minute Spanish for Latin America series instead.

I already buy a lot of books for my Kindle for Amazon- I have to keep the flow of short ebooks going to supply Tungsten Hippo, I have book club books to get, there are random other things I want to read (I'll be buying Between the World and Me,Ta-Nehisi Coates' latest book, for instance).

I'm just getting started on this little project. I want to go slow, so that I can pay attention to what makes me decide to pay, and how much I'm willing to pay for different things. So far, the things I've decided to pay for are things I've really loved, but had been enjoying for free. I don't think that is the usual behavior for people, and it probably isn't even the norm for me. But who knows? Maybe I should set up a "donate" button on Tungsten Hippo.

What about you? What things that you get from the internet do you pay for? What makes you decide to buy?

Dressing for Success

If you follow me on Twitter, you know that I had a meeting with a potential new client today. So yesterday, I was somewhat frantically sorting through my wardrobe, trying to find something appropriate to wear.

This is a surprisingly fraught decision.

Unlike my male peers in my particular line of work, I can not just wear khakis and a dress shirt. First of all, khakis are seen as more casual on women than on men. I have several pairs of khakis (my personal favorites are the Broken In Straight Khakis from The Gap), and I frequently wear them when working onsite with a client. They are fine for daily wear in my line of work, but not for a new client meeting. I could possibly get away with black khakis, but only if they were new enough to be unfaded and crisp.

However, my male peers can wear khakis for new client meetings. I know this, because they do it, and they get business. (And hooray for them!)

Then there is the problem of the dress shirt. Given my bra size, I simply cannot buy an off the rack dress shirt and have it fit. It will either be too big around the waist, and therefore look sloppy, or be too tight across the chest, and therefore look awkward, at best.

There is also the question of the degree of formality. One simple solution to the need to look professional is to wear a suit. I like this option, because a suit jacket hides a lot of flaws, including shirts that don't fit completely right. However, in my industry, that is really not done, except for during a full job interview (and even then, it is not necessarily required).

If I had worn a suit today, I would have betrayed a lack of knowledge about the industry. The people I met, it turned out, were wearing jeans or khakis and casual shirts.

So, I needed something professional but not too formal, and I needed a top that would work on my body type (I am a classic hourglass).

Plus I needed to be comfortable, so that I could concentrate on the meeting, and not on my clothing.

And then I needed shoes. They needed to match my outfit and again be professional without being overly formal.

Here's what I came up with:

I am quite happy with the outfit. The skirt came from a Stitch Fix box. I would probably not have picked it for myself, but it is a nice skirt and is very comfortable. The top came from a shop in Wellington, New Zealand. I always do some clothes shopping when I'm in New Zealand, because I find the clothes there are more likely to be cut in a style that flatters a woman of my body type. I don't know why that is. This particular top is from an Australian brand called Veronika Maine. The shoes are a testament to my policy of buying quality: they are Munro pumps that I bought roughly 12 years ago.

The necklace is a strand of silver "pearls" that my husband gave me for our anniversary this year, despite having assured me that the trip to France was our anniversary gift to each other (so I didn't buy him anything).

There is a funny story behind that necklace. It is from Tiffany's, and is the only thing I own from that store. He specifically wanted to get me something from Tiffany's this year because we had recently been reminiscing about the following story:

Back in the early 2000s, when I was working at my second biotech company, a male colleague went to Tiffany's to buy a gift for his girlfriend. The salesperson asked if he wanted it wrapped, and he said yes. Then the salesperson asked what color ribbon he wanted, and he said: "I don't know. What color is the box?"

Several of the women at the office were teasing him about how shocking it was that he didn't know what color the Tiffany's box is, since it is such an iconic thing in the US. So everyone was asked if they knew what color the Tiffany's box is. All of the women did. Not all of the men did.

That night, I went home and asked my then boyfriend if he knew what color the Tiffany's box is. He said: "What's Tiffany's?"

Clearly, I didn't care about this gap in his knowledge, although it did get a good laugh when I mentioned it at work the next day.

And now, almost 15 years later, it is the reason I had the perfect necklace to wear with my outfit today.

The meeting with the potential client went well, by the way. I don't know if it will lead to new work in the short term, but it was a chance to meet some new people, and given the small world nature of my industry, that is always a good thing.

Marketing and Talking about the Things I Love

In my last post, I mentioned that one of the "not true for me" values I absorbed in academia was a distaste for management. I'm long over that now, and am now moving past another false value I absorbed: that marketing is easier and less worthy of respect than technical work.

This particular false belief- which I would never have said out loud!- stuck with me well into my post-academic career. Frankly, a lot of scientists and techies in industry also tend to look down on marketing as "easier" than what we do.

I can now categorically state that this is utter bunk. Effective marketing is HARD. I am not exaggerating at all when I say that I think the success or failure of my business is going to come down to how well I learn to market my products and services. Sure, I have a lot of other things to learn, and if I don't learn those well, I'll probably fail, too. But those things- how to write apps, how to format more complicated ebooks, even how to create more appealing t-shirt mockups- are well within my comfort zone. They are, primarily, technical problems. I'll research them, and practice and develop the technical skills I need. When I research them, I'll probably be able to find the "right" answers, or something close to them, and if I can't, I'll be able to derive these answers based on other technical information I find.

Marketing is a completely different thing. What is the "right" way to market something? Who knows? Similar to management problems, marketing problems are at their root problems of understanding how people behave, and that is an endlessly varying topic. I'm sure I'll eventually find some resources that help guide me, and develop my own methods of experimenting without spending a fortune... but there are no first principles here, not really. It is going to be one endless, high stakes experiment. It is a good thing that tackling touch challenges and learning new things are a couple of my actual career values!

So, I'm sending sincere apologies to all of the marketing people I ever thought had an easier job than I did. I was so very, very wrong.

-----------------------------

I've actually been experimenting with marketing for awhile now, via my Tungsten Hippo site and via marketing Navigating the Path to Industry. I have learned a little, but not as much as I'd like. Mostly, I feel like I've learned that I have a lot more I need to learn.

One of the things I've learned is that the absolute best marketing happens when a fan shares his or her enthusiasm for something. I don't necessarily believe in the literal idea of karma, but I love the concept of it, and in that spirit, I want to share three things I've loved recently.

The first is a book that has been waiting for me on my ereader for far too long, The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms,
 by N.K. Jemisin. I finally read it last weekend and... wow, it was wonderful. Beautiful writing, fast-paced and engaging plot, and interesting, believable characters. It also had an ending that I did not see coming and loved. Sometimes, I love a book right up until the ending, and then the author stumbles and leaves me with an unsatisfied feeling. Not this time. If you're into speculative fiction at all, read this book. If you aren't, consider reading it anyway. It might win you over.

The second is a podcast that I'm actually still loving. Longtime readers might remember that I loved the BBC History of the World in 100 Objects podcast. I was a little bereft when I finished it, but I've finally found another podcast I love just as much. The History of English podcast is a fascinating blend of history, archaeology, and linguistics.

The organizing principle is telling the history of English, but to do so, Kevin Stroud starts back at the very beginning, with the first language of our language group, Indo-European. He traces the development of all the languages that made their way into English- Greek, Latin, Celtic, French, and Germanic dialects. He also discusses the people who were speaking those languages, and their histories. I am learning so much, and since I will probably not retain anywhere near all this new information, I may revisit this podcast again later.

However, there are some tidbits I've picked up that I'm likely to remember. For instance, the idea of an alphabet- i.e., a system of writing based on fundamental phonemes- happened once, and all of our various alphabets have evolved from the first one, which was developed by the ancient Phonecians. Tracing the development of our alphabet has been one of the surprisingly fascinating parts of the podcast- there is an entire episode on the letter C which is just great- so I'll almost certainly buy the companion audiobook, The History of the Alphabet, when I finish this podcast.

Another interesting tidbit I just picked up this week: the phrase "to egg him on" is very, very old, dating at least from when the Vikings came to England. Egg at that time had a meaning of to prod or poke, and actually derived from the same word that gave us our modern word "edge."

The final thing I want to share is a short ebook, The Fort of Young Saplings. I posted it at Tungsten Hippo a few weeks ago, and it is just wonderful. It is also a great example of the strengths of the short ebook format- it would not support a longer book, but is long enough that I prefer to read on an ereader versus a website. I read it over two or three evenings, and ereaders are better at remembering your place than websites! So if you're wondering why I am so enthusiastic about short ebooks, go over to the Tungsten Hippo post and check it out, and maybe give this book a try.

And of course, if you're won over by the format, I'd be thrilled if you'd bookmark the site, follow on social media (Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, or Pinterest) or sign up for the newsletter! (See, I'm working on marketing....)

Now it is your turn! Do you have any thing you've loved lately and want to share? Put it in the comments.

Socks, Bags, and Style Blogs

I have a post I really want to write, about growing into who I am instead of who I think I should be. But I have a migraine. Or at least I think it is a migraine- my headache is pretty mild, but it is accompanied with nausea. Whatever it is, it is making it impossible to think through what I wanted to say.

So I'm going to talk about socks and bags and style blogs instead. It seems more what I'm up for tonight.

First up socks.

When Mr. Snarky first came to America, he complained a lot about socks. Specifically, he complained about how he could not find any socks as good as the socks he bought in New Zealand. I rolled my eyes and told him I was sure our American socks were fine and he just needed to look around to find the brand that suited him.

I am now ready to admit that I owe him an apology.

I first started to suspect he might be right back in 2004, when we took a trip to Vancouver to get Mr. Snarky's visa renewed. It was colder than I expected, so I went to a Roots store near our hotel and bought a fleece and some socks. Those socks were AWESOME. I wore them for at least five years and mourned them when they finally wore out. I tried all sorts of stores to find American socks as good as those Roots socks. I failed. Eventually, I gave up and just resigned myself to socks that lasted a few months at best before either stretching out and bunching up in my shoes or having a hole sprout in the toe. I considered it a win to have found a brand of socks that at least stayed in place for a month or two.

Then we went to New Zealand in 2013. Once again, it was cold, and once again, we went to a local store to get some supplies. This time it was Farmers, which is like a New Zealand version of JC Penny (sort of). I bought a three pack of lightweight wool socks and they are AWESOME. They are soft and warm and they stay in place and not a single one of them has sprouted a hole in the toe. They are my favorite socks and I wish I'd bought more of them. Once again, I find myself shopping around looking for socks that approach this level of awesomeness. NO JOY. Mostly, they sprout holes in the toe. One pair I bought seemed soft and warm and comfy... but had a hole in the toe after just three wearings. Other pairs bunch up.

I am seriously considering asking my in laws to send me more socks, but it is sort of embarrassing to admit that I can't find any good socks in my own country.

Next, bags.

Back in 2003, I started a job that required some travel. I splurged and bought a really nice laptop bag. It converted from backpack to shoulder bag, had well-designed pockets, and was wonderful. I carried it for over ten years and loved it. Unfortunately, one of the pockets finally ripped out and I decided it was time to replace my beloved bag. I thought I'd just replace it with an update of the one I had, but the company that made it had gone out of business in one of the intervening recessions.

I'd been casting about for a suitable replacement for a few months when I came across a review of Lo and Sons bags (more on where I saw that review in a minute). I put "a new computer bag" on my Christmas wish list, along with a link to the bag I liked. Mr. Snarky took the "hint" and got me the new bag I wanted.

Sleek, stylish, and really well designed

I've been carrying it for a couple of weeks now, and it is pretty wonderful. The pockets are thoughtfully designed, the bag is comfortable to carry even with my not-so-slim client laptop in it, and it looks great.

Finally, style blogs.

I found the out about the Lo and Sons bag via a giveaway on a site called Corprette. I found that site because I was on a mission to find some sources of style inspiration. I realized that all of my ideas about style were formed when I was younger and thinner, and perhaps it was time for an update.

Corprette is in general a little too formal for me, but I do get some ideas from it. I've also found a site called Not Dressed as Lamb that looks really nice but so far hasn't really led to any style inspiration for me. I could use some more sites, I think. Anyone who knows of style bloggers that would make sense for a 40-something who generally dresses in something like business casual for work and is a size 12-14... tell me in the comments! I've also started pinning clothes ideas, but I haven't really figured out how to use Pinterest to find other ideas (beyond what their algorithm recommends for me), so I'd be happy for advice on that, too.

And if you know of a brand of awesome socks that I can buy here in the US, I'll be forever in your debt.

Gearing Up for Christmas - a Gift Ideas List

In the midst of being horrified by most of the news, I'm also trying to get ready for Christmas, which means I'm doing a lot of gift shopping.  I suspect at least some of you are in gift shopping mode, too, so I thought I'd share some gift ideas. None of these work for the people left on my list, but maybe they'll help someone else!

I'm a big believer in the principle of giving people higher-end versions of things they need. Nicole and Maggie wrote a post about this not that long ago, but I'm not remembering enough keywords to pull it up in a search (Update: here it is!)

Anyway, here are some ideas if you want to go that route:

For the tea lover, check out Lupicia Tea. They have "plain" tea and tea that is mixed with other ingredients for flavor. I usually prefer a good plain black tea to flavored, but their flavors are pretty awesome. My sister in law gave me a couple of tins from their Australian collection, and when we visited a Lupicia shop during our trip to Torrance I bought several tins from their Hawaiian collection. I also signed up for their newsletter, which comes with a single tea bag sample every month. Every single tea of theirs I've had, I've liked. It is definitely a step up from my usual stuff, and my usual stuff is pretty darn good. Plus, their tins are really pretty.

For the chocoholic, try giving a tasting set of single source chocolates. I first discovered the joys of single source chocolate during a visit to San Francisco, when I stopped by Dandelion Chocolate. It is really fun to try to the different bars and taste the subtle differences. You can order from them (and their chocolate is soooo good), but if you're looking for something more modest, Trader Joe's has a "tasting passport" box that is pretty good, too.

Nice lotions and bath gels are a good "upgrade" gift, too, but in this case you need to know two things: (1) what sort of product the person usually uses, and (2) what smells he or she likes. If someone usually uses a supermarket shower gel, Bath and Body Works or The Body Shop will be an upgrade. If they're usually using Crabtree and Evelyn, you'll have to go even more upmarket. L'Occitane would be an option in that case. Lush is another good option for this sort of gift. Their Dream Cream is a personal favorite of mine. I'm obviously no help on scents, but a light citrus-y sort of thing is usually safe. If you give a bath gel, include the matching lotion. That makes the gift more luxurious feeling.

Another good gift-finding approach is to find a gift that fits an interest, but that the person might not splurge on. This is how I got my first Kindle- Mr. Snarky knew I wanted one but also knew that I'm slow to spend that kind of money (back then, they were more than $150!) for an electronic gadget, so he bought me one for Christmas. This sort of thing only works once- when that Kindle broke, I replaced it almost immediately because I love having an ereader so much. (If you decide to give an ereader, you might want to check out my old post at Tungsten Hippo about it- I recommend giving a few short ebooks to go along with the new ereader, to get the recipient started. That post recommends some good "starter" books, but really, you could browse the entire site for more ideas. For instance, today's post has a taster flight about travel, which would be a good "preload" for an ereader being given to a frequent traveler.)

I've also gotten some good blank notebooks, which I suspect were chosen because people know I like to write. This can be tricky, though. Some people have really strong preferences on notebooks. Moleskines are generally considered good (bonus points if they have a special collection item that fits the recipient's interests). I use a Moleskine for the idea notebook that I started keeping after reading the books about being a scanner/renaissance soul. It is not my preferred size for carrying in my purse, though, so I also carry a smaller notebook for ideas about things to write and snippets and phrases I might use. These tend to come to me at random times and fly away if I don't write them down soon, so I like to carry a notebook in my purse. I have a 5.5 x 4 x 1 inch notebook that I bought on a trip to New Zealand that I'm using right now. I actually find that to be a bit too small for good writing flow, though, so as soon as I fill it up, I'll switch to a 5 x 7 x 0.5 inch notebook my in-laws gave me. I find that size works much better for writing.

Current notebook in front, next notebook in back

Like I said, it is personal. I don't mind getting random notebooks as gifts, though, because I always end up finding a use for them. Other people may be less forgiving, so use this idea with caution.

Books- electronic or otherwise- are another set of "go to" gifts. If you have any scientists or engineers on your gift list this year, two good options are What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions  from xkcd's Randall Munroe and WTF, Evolution?!: A Theory of Unintelligible Design  from Mara Grunbaum (who runs the awesome WTF, Evolution tumblr).

That's all I have. If you're looking for toy gift ideas, you might want to check out the series of posts I did on this awhile back:

• Princess toys to promote spatial skills and mathematical thinking (a guest post I did for Mommyshorts- read more about that here)
• Gender neutral toys to promote spatial skills and mathematical thinking
• Toys to gently challenge gender stereotypes for boys
• "Thinking" toys for Christmas

If you have any good gift ideas, please share them in the comments. I have a few gifts I'm still looking for inspiration on....

A Random Collection of Good Things

This week's Tungsten Hippo post has a few recommendations for short eBooks that might help you with your New Year's Resolutions.

We've already started in on our 2014 family fun list, visiting a doughnut shop for treats after our park outing yesterday. Maybe the key to keeping your resolutions is making the fun and easy to do!

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I've come across some great things for the kids lately, and I feel like sharing them:

My Mom brought over her Quiddler game and played a modified version with Pumpkin, who loved it. I think this is a great way to practice spelling and vocabulary for kids who aren't quite ready for full on Scrabble yet. I'm tempted to buy the game for our house, but we already have a bunch of games, so I may not. If you're feeling a bit light in the game department, check this one out.

My parents got Pumpkin the basic Roominate set, and so far I am quite impressed. Pumpkin was able to build it and wire up the motor by herself, and she is having a lot of fun with it. My only complaint is that it is sized for small dolls (the ones that are about 3-4 inches high) and not Barbies. However, this is not because the Pumpkin isn't enjoying playing with her smaller dolls and this toy. It is because my kids really want a Barbie house and I really do not want to store a big plastic one.

My in-laws send Pumpkin this really cool Magic Cherry Blossom Tree. It is a crystal growing experiment made super cool. Both kids love it. And I love that it will go away after about a month, so I don't have to store anything. (I spent several hours today finding homes for all the new Christmas toys, so lack of storage requirement seems like a big plus to me right now!) My only criticism is that there was that the solution came pre-mixed. This is probably necessary to get the exact right mixture, but it meant that there wasn't much for Pumpkin to do in the set up. But she and Petunia both really loved watching the growing process, though, which gave me a chance to try to explain crystallization at the appropriate level (I'd give myself a B- on that).

About an hour or two in

Roughly 6 hours in

Finished product

Moving on... I love Giants Beware! for older kids. A friend's husband did the color on this graphic novel, which is how I heard about it. I read it and loved it, and think Pumpkin will love it in a few years, too.

We've also been exploring apps for the kids to play on my Kindle Fire. It is usually restricted to times when we need them to be someplace boring and put up with it- e.g., car rides, restaurant waits, and the like. Of course, as I type this, Pumpkin is playing with it now just because I said she could. Maybe at some point, I'll write up an entire post about apps aimed at kids, but for now I'll just note that both kids really like the apps put out by Kevin Bradford. Petunia is particularly fond of the subtraction game in the Preschool and Kindergarten Learning Games app, because she likes tapping the items with "X" on them and making them disappear. It will be pretty funny if this means she learns to subtract before she learns to add.

One day a few weeks ago, Mr. Snarky was home with a sick Petunia, and he sent me an email telling me she loved the Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse show. My initial reaction was "WTF are you doing showing her that?" but he made me watch it when I got home, and it is surprisingly good. Or at least not terrible. Here are episodes we've watched. Look for the Star Trek, Star Wars, and Raiders of the Lost Ark references.



And finally, Petunia wanted to watch Gangnam style on "the big TV" (instead of Pumpkin's computer, where we have installed a version from Dance Dance Revolution), and we stumbled on this, which caused both kids to laugh uproariously:



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Finally, both kids have some original humor I'd like to share.

Let's start with Petunia (4 years old):

Knock-knock
Who's there?
A chicken.
A chicken who?
A chicken got on the hood of a car and a man came and cleaned it off but it kept getting back on the car and the man kept having to clean it off.

Here is Pumpkin's original joke:

What is the difference between a teacher and a tutor?
The tutor farts a lot.

And I think I'll leave it there. I can't top that joke.

Gift Guides

I am feeling very behind on my Christmas shopping this year. I've spent a fair amount of time this week browsing various gift guides and websites looking for gift ideas. So perhaps it is not surprising that this week's Tungsten Hippo post is about ideas for short eBooks to give in conjunction with an eReader. If you're giving an eReader for a gift, I recommend including a couple of books with the gift. I explain why in the post.

I thought I'd also share some of the gift ideas I've been browsing this week:

I found the Quirky website by searching for "quirky gifts" and it is indeed full of fun and quirky gift ideas.

Santa usually brings our family a new CD, and this list gives us a few ideas of what we might ask him to bring.

If you're looking for longer books to give, last year's gift guide from Book Riot is a good place to look for ideas.

I'm still browsing this guide with ideas for men, but it looks to have a good mix of things.

Have you found any really good gift guides? If so, help the rest of us out and leave them in the comments!

Eyeless Rabbits and Other Curiosities

This week's Tungsten Hippo post is about how our current "mash up" age might not be as unique as we think it is. It is inspired by ideas from a couple of different short ebooks. It is not long, and I feel like perhaps there is more to the topic than I have understood at this point. I'm still thinking about it, but decided to go ahead and post what I have now, anyway. Maybe there will be some follow up posts later.

And that's about all I have this weekend. Mr. Snarky came home on Thursday. It is good to have him home. He brought the kids a couple of Manga dolls (which they love) and some colorful Hello Kitties (also loved, and currently riding in the back of a dump truck). He also brought them yukatas, which made them squeal with glee. The girls are ridiculously cute in them, but I have no idea what we'll do with them now that we have pictures of them being cute in them. He brought me a rabbit, which is appropriate because I collect rabbit things, and like to find interesting rabbits to buy when I travel.

I was initially puzzled as to why it lacks eyes, but between @BetsyPhd and the day care teacher who is Japanese-American, I have learned that it is a daruma doll. I am supposed to draw one eye in and make a wish. When the wish comes true, I can draw in the other eye. I haven't decided if I'm going to do that yet, but I'm enjoying thinking about what wish I might make.

What do you think? Should I leave it eyeless? Or attempt to add the eyes?

Fashion Show

The news is depressing right now, and I've got some unbloggable work-related things weighing on my mind. So I'm going to leave the serious topics behind for now, and post about something completely frivolous- my wardrobe. Yes, it is time for another one of my weird headless fashion shows.

Long time readers might remember that I am not an enthusiastic shopper these days, and that I tend towards a uniform of dark bottoms with a solid color top. There is nothing wrong with that, per se, but I tend to wear t-shirts past when the point when I should retire them to finish out their days as weekend grubbies, and I also find it hard to put together appropriate outfits on the rare occasions when I need to look a little sharper. So one of my goals this year was to spruce up my wardrobe. I tried out Stitch Fix, and got some good things from them (and will probably order another fix soon- I enjoy the surprise aspect of their service).

I also took advantage of the trip to New Zealand to add some new items to my wardrobe.

Here's the dress I mentioned earlier:

I also found this shirt, which I almost didn't try on because of the horizontal stripes, but which I love:

I wandered into a Veronika Maine store, and was helped by a sales associate who definitely earned her pay that day. I came out with a new blouse (that is probably as close to a peplum as I'll ever get) and skirt:

And also this shirt, which I love even though (or perhaps because?) it reminds me of a Star Trek top:

But my favorite clothing purchase in New Zealand may actually be this t-shirt with a pohutukawa on it, purchased at the last minute in the Auckland airport, to round out a "buy two, get one free" deal (we were buying the kids souvenir t-shirts), shown here in action on our recent weekend away in Orange County:

I also did a little shopping when I visited my friend in San Francisco. We were mostly just wandering around exploring, but we wandered into a couple of shops, and I ended up with this top:

That picture neatly shows the main problem with this top- I have a hard time keeping my bra strap from peeking out. Still, I like the top.

You might notice in the above that I mostly bought tops. I decided I needed to do some directed purchasing of some bottoms. I tried out eShakti and bought a skirt, which I love all the more because it actually has pockets:

It makes a good twirling skirt, too:

On my first half day decompressing at the mall, I bought these pants at The Gap:

 I ended up liking them so much that I went back and bought two more colors:

Actually, I bought the blue ones, and then on the very first day I wore them, I got what looked like several ink stains on them at the hip. I didn't think I'd get that out, so I went online to replace them, and couldn't... and ended up with the burgundy ones. But then the ink stains faded well enough that I can continue to wear them. So now I'm pretty well set for ankle length pants. 

That picture also shows two pairs of shoes I bought recently- some red mary janes (also seen in several pictures above) and some multicolor flats that I love. They seem funky in an age-appropriate way.

On my second decompression afternoon, I picked up a new pair of black trousers (boring, but essential), another blouse and an awesome casual blazer, which is something I've been wanting for a long time:

That's the new blouse peaking out, and there are those red mary janes again. They may be my favorite shoe right now.

Here's a better view of the new blouse:

Believe it or not, I don't think I am quite done. I had let my wardrobe deteriorate quite a bit, and I had to give away a lot of my favorite tops after facing the sad fact that my chest is NOT going to go back to its pre-kids size, so those tops will never fit again. I still often find myself standing in front of my closet trying to find a top that both matches a clean pair of pants and fits. I think I have enough bottoms now, and just need to decide what sort of tops I need, and whether I should let Stitch Fix surprise me with some or try to pick out some for myself on eShakti or a similar site. Anyone know of a good place to buy shirts online? No way I'm going back to the mall.

On My Feet

The news today is wild, and not really in a good way. I haven't really processed all the happenings at the Supreme Court and in Texas, and even if I had, I don't have the time or energy to write a thoughtful post on them.

So I'm going to talk about shoes instead.

I recently had to buy some new sandals. I know- this sounds like a non-event. And it was a non-event until I stopped and thought about the sandals I was replacing. They were a pair of Chacos that I'd bought for our big trip. I took four pairs of shoes on that trip: the Chacos, a pair of black Birkenstock Mary Janes, my hiking boots, and a pair of Reef flip flops. Until the Chacos gave out, I still owned (and wore!) all of these, which is a testament to the quality of expensive shoes when they are expensive for reasons other than fashion, I suppose.

The Mary Janes have had to have their strap elastic repaired, but otherwise are in good condition. I don't wear them for "everyday" uses, but I keep them because I have yet to find their match for looking reasonable and being comfortable to wear while walking all day. Yes I know. I said Birkenstocks looked reasonable. But these ones do!

The Mary Janes, in San Antonio on last year's Texas trip

They come out anytime I need to wear a skirt and closed toe shoes and be on my feet all day. They almost always go on vacation with me.

I did not buy the hiking boots new for the trip, but before the trip I only wore them when I was actually hiking. During the trip, I wore them hiking, and anytime I needed to wear socks.

The hiking boots on the canopy walk in Taman Negara, Malaysia

After the trip, they were demoted to hiking-only use again, but they are still in my possession. They are definitely starting to show their age.

The flip flops have survived due to benign neglect. I am not one of those San Diegans that wears flip flops everywhere, so they only come out for trips to the beach and occasional use around the house.

But the Chacos. Well, those saw heavy wear during the trip.

At a "wildlife" center in Australia, feeding a wallaby

On the beach many places... here, in Hawaii, at the end of our trip

They are surprisingly comfortable, and are my shoe of choice for all day walking- as long as I'm walking somewhere where the sight of my toes won't give anyone the vapors. They not only keep my feet from hurting, they help keep my legs from hurting when I've been walking all days. I was so impressed by their performance on the trip that they continued to get heavy wear when we got home. They survived frequent wearings for almost 8 years. They still look reasonable and feel just as comfortable as they did from the start. But the bottom of the sole started flake off after our recent trip to Disneyland (where they kept my feet and legs happy through two days of tromping around the parks).

About to start their two day tour of Disneyland and California Adventure

So it was time to replace them. No prizes for guessing what I chose to replace them with.

Shiny new Chacos

This post was not sponsored by anything or anyone other than my happy feet!

A Second Fix

I got my second Stitch Fix last weekend. I don't think I'll post after every fix comes in, but I feel like posting about this one. Prepare yourself for another round of crappy fashion photos...

I have to say, I find getting the Stitch Fix box a lot of fun. It is like opening a present, even though I'm ultimately the one who pays for the present. So sort of like opening a gift from my husband, except it is clothes instead of some practical gadget. I guess I just like the element of surprise.

When I opened this box, I thought I was going to end up keeping all of the items. They all looked "right" for me. Sadly, when I tried them on, I realized it was not to be- one of the items just didn't fit. It was a dress in a wonderful shade of brown and I was genuinely disappointed when it didn't work. But it was so tight across my chest/back that I was worried I'd rip it taking it off. And once I knew I'd be sending one item back (and therefore forfeiting the discount), I looked at everything a little more critically.

So I ended up sending back this white draped top, which seemed like it should look great on me... until I tried it on. I ended up thinking it just had too much volume for me, making me look top heavy.

This top looks better in the picture than it did in real life

I kept the other three things in my box, though.

The first winner was a sleeveless sweater/vest. I first tried it on as a sleeveless sweater, and was unconvinced:

But then I looked at the style card and decided to try the other style it suggested, and then I loved the sweater:

And so did my kids. You can't see it from the above pictures, but the sweater has metallic threads woven into it.

My girls looked at it, pronounced it "sparkly" and said it was the best thing in the box. I am inclined to agree with them.

I also decided to keep the oversize but lightweight teal cardigan:

I couldn't find an outfit using this cardigan that I really loved, but I did love the color and so I decided to keep it and assume that eventually I'll find the right combination.

Finally, there was a pretty silver necklace, which I also kept without any specific ideas of how I would wear it.

All in all, I thought this was a successful Fix. I am definitely enjoying having things in my closet that I actually really like without having had to actually shop for those things, so I will sign up for another one at some point. The thing I most need right now, though, are pants, and as Laura Vanderkam has already mentioned, Stitch Fix doesn't have many pants in their collection, so I will take a break from getting the Stitch Fix boxes and maybe look into trying out a personal shopper. It is one of the items on my 2013 Personal Fun List, after all.