Hubby, Petunia, and I spent 6 hours in the emergency room on Saturday night. Thankfully, my Mom was still here, so Pumpkin stayed home with her (and got some sleep).
We ended up at the ER because I had a headache. Yes, a headache. It was a very bad headache, and didn't respond to ibuprofen or Vicodin. It was bearable when I was sitting up, better if I got up and walked around, but unbearable if I tried to lay down- I essentially, couldn't lay down. It came on at about noon, and finally, after dinner, I called the nurse line to see if (1) this was something I should worry about and (2) if there was anything else I could do for the headache. The paged the doctor on call, who sent me to the ER.
Once I got to the ER and was seen by the triage nurses, it was obvious to me that we'd be waiting a while. I clearly wasn't having a true emergency- i.e., I wasn't having a stroke or an aneurysm. Everyone nodded knowingly when I told them I'd had an epidural.
When I finally saw a doctor, she confirmed that this was one of the infamous "epidural headaches". I was given an IV with sugar water, an NSAID that is a little stronger than ibuprofen, and caffeine. Within minutes, my headache was gone. We had to sit there for another hour until the IV was done and the doctor had a chance to come back and check me out. We finally got home a little after 2:30 in the morning. Petunia, bless her heart, was nice and woke up to feed almost as soon as we got home and slept the rest of the night through. We were tired, but not absolutely exhausted, the next morning.
I am trying not too be too annoyed about paying $100 (my ER copay) and wasting 6 hours to get the equivalent of a can of Coke pumped into me. Surely, someone could have just suggested I try drinking a can of Coke?
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In other news....
Pumpkin has a new cute phrase: Petunia, like most babies, gets frequent bouts of the hiccups. Pumpkin says she is "hiccing up".
Pumpkin is still loving having a baby sister. We know this can't possibly last, but it is super cute. Pumpkin likes to stroke Petunia's head, give her kisses on top of her head, and give her hugs (supervised carefully, of course).
My general recovery from the C-section is going pretty well. I'm still a bit sore, but am feeling much better. Last night, I even got to lay on my side from time to time! (I've been going crazy because I couldn't really change positions to try to get comfortable at night.) I have to put in a plug (unsolicited, of course) for Benefiber. I've been adding it to my oatmeal in the morning and my, er, system is finally getting back to normal. Yeah, I know- I should just eat more fruits and vegetables. But I'm a picky eater, and I don't feel up to forcing myself to eat things I don't really like right now.
Breastfeeding is still going well. Not surprisingly, given the antibiotics I got during and after the C-section, we developed a case of thrush. Culturelle has cured it beautifully (this is another unsolicited plug- I love this stuff). Once a day, after Petunia has eaten, I break open a capsule and empty the contents into a little bowl. I mix in a very little bit of water, and smear it inside Petunia's mouth and also on me. I put fresh breast pads on and let the little bacteria do their stuff. I also treat myself with some antifungal cream after my shower, and change my breast pads frequently. The thrush seems to be gone, and the damage it caused is healing. I'm hoping that nursing will be pain-free soon!
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Monday, October 12, 2009
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Unexpected Delivery
We had an unexpected delivery Friday night- our baby finally arrived! We have another little girl. Her blog name has yet to be finalized... I'm thinking that perhaps it will be Petunia. She was 8 lbs 9 oz, and is just perfect.
Since she was two days late, the actual arrival clearly wasn't unexpected. What was unexpected was the manner in which she came: via C-section.
I was sitting on the sofa after dinner when I felt a pop, and thought "gee, I wonder if my water just broke?" It had, and the contractions that had been intermittent and weak all day suddenly started getting a little stronger. So we packed up, kissed Pumpkin good-bye, and left for the hospital. By the time we got there, my contractions were 5 minutes apart, getting stronger, and lasting for over a minute. Thirty minutes later, I was checked into the labor triage area, and a nurse checked me and said I was at 6 cm. I was transferred to a wheelchair and taken up to the labor and delivery room. By the time I got there, my contractions were coming every couple of minutes, lasting what seemed like an eternity, and were quite strong. I was starting to swear at people and was in no doubt about my desire for an epidural. They had started the paperwork for me in triage, so the anesthesiologist was waiting for us in the labor and delivery room. My contractions were much stronger this time than they were when I asked for the epidural with Pumpkin. I have renewed respect for women who choose to deliver without any pain medication- I would not have wanted to do it!
I remembered the anesthesiologist from last time, but only because he has an unusual name- the epidural itself didn't make much of an impression. This time, it took him several tries to get my epidural in. I kept having contractions and couldn't hold still. I also had a hard time relaxing my back. He finally got the epidural in, and I was momentarily a very happy camper. He started talking to me about how I may or may not be able to feel the urge to push, since I was getting the epidural sort of late this time, but that if I didn't push my button for more medicine, my chances were good.
Then my doctor came in to check on me. I was lucky- my doctor was the delivery doctor that night. All the nurses said that he was a great labor and delivery doctor, and I was feeling pretty good... until he looked up and said "You're going to hate me. I feel a butt."
My baby was an undiagnosed breech baby. My doctor explained that I could still try for a vaginal delivery if I wanted, but that he'd recommend a C-section in this case. He said that overall, the statistics show that there is no difference in outcomes for vaginal vs. C-section deliveries for second births. However, he estimated my baby was at least a pound bigger than my previous baby (turns out, he was right on this), and that this could mean I'd have a hard delivery. Since the biggest part of the baby is the head, and that would be coming out last, it would be risky. I knew that Hubby and I were both already pretty exhausted from the many nights of false labor, including the night before, when we'd been up until after 2 a.m. timing contractions that never got closer than 7 minutes apart. Given all of this, we decided to go ahead and have a C-section.
My surgery was quick and uneventful- the baby was born just a little over 2 hours after my water broke (my water broke at 7:35, and the baby was born at 9:52). I never lost the ability to move my legs, so I didn't have to spend too much time in the recovery area. We were in our room before midnight. I was able to breastfeed Petunia for the first time in the recovery area, and she latched on with no problem.
I was still in a bit of shock at how things had turned out, but not feeling too bad until after we got settled into our recovery room. Then I threw up. I threw up several times over then next day- I didn't really feel better until almost dinner time on Saturday, and only started eating normally on Sunday. (The nausea is caused by the anesthesia.) The the long-acting pain medicine that I'd had for surgery began to wear off on Saturday, and I started to really feel the incision. I couldn't get up easily to get Petunia when she cried, so Hubby had to bring her to me. I had a hard time finding a good position for breastfeeding that didn't hurt my incision, so I ended up not positioning Petunia well. I'm still working through the issues that caused. I can't imagine how overwhelmed I'd have felt if Petunia had been my first baby and I didn't know that breastfeeding gets much, much easier.
I'm doing much better now. I can almost walk at my normal pace, and can pick up Petunia without trouble. We did have to switch sides of the bed, though, and put Hubby next to the co-sleeper. We'll switch back as soon as I can lay on my side and turn over easily in bed. Breastfeeding is going really well- Petunia is having am much easier time with it that Pumpkin did.
Without a doubt, I preferred the vaginal delivery- even with the four hours of pushing. I cannot believe that some women actually opt for a C-section. I'd definitely take the pain of labor and the work of pushing over this longer, more difficult recovery!
Since she was two days late, the actual arrival clearly wasn't unexpected. What was unexpected was the manner in which she came: via C-section.
I was sitting on the sofa after dinner when I felt a pop, and thought "gee, I wonder if my water just broke?" It had, and the contractions that had been intermittent and weak all day suddenly started getting a little stronger. So we packed up, kissed Pumpkin good-bye, and left for the hospital. By the time we got there, my contractions were 5 minutes apart, getting stronger, and lasting for over a minute. Thirty minutes later, I was checked into the labor triage area, and a nurse checked me and said I was at 6 cm. I was transferred to a wheelchair and taken up to the labor and delivery room. By the time I got there, my contractions were coming every couple of minutes, lasting what seemed like an eternity, and were quite strong. I was starting to swear at people and was in no doubt about my desire for an epidural. They had started the paperwork for me in triage, so the anesthesiologist was waiting for us in the labor and delivery room. My contractions were much stronger this time than they were when I asked for the epidural with Pumpkin. I have renewed respect for women who choose to deliver without any pain medication- I would not have wanted to do it!
I remembered the anesthesiologist from last time, but only because he has an unusual name- the epidural itself didn't make much of an impression. This time, it took him several tries to get my epidural in. I kept having contractions and couldn't hold still. I also had a hard time relaxing my back. He finally got the epidural in, and I was momentarily a very happy camper. He started talking to me about how I may or may not be able to feel the urge to push, since I was getting the epidural sort of late this time, but that if I didn't push my button for more medicine, my chances were good.
Then my doctor came in to check on me. I was lucky- my doctor was the delivery doctor that night. All the nurses said that he was a great labor and delivery doctor, and I was feeling pretty good... until he looked up and said "You're going to hate me. I feel a butt."
My baby was an undiagnosed breech baby. My doctor explained that I could still try for a vaginal delivery if I wanted, but that he'd recommend a C-section in this case. He said that overall, the statistics show that there is no difference in outcomes for vaginal vs. C-section deliveries for second births. However, he estimated my baby was at least a pound bigger than my previous baby (turns out, he was right on this), and that this could mean I'd have a hard delivery. Since the biggest part of the baby is the head, and that would be coming out last, it would be risky. I knew that Hubby and I were both already pretty exhausted from the many nights of false labor, including the night before, when we'd been up until after 2 a.m. timing contractions that never got closer than 7 minutes apart. Given all of this, we decided to go ahead and have a C-section.
My surgery was quick and uneventful- the baby was born just a little over 2 hours after my water broke (my water broke at 7:35, and the baby was born at 9:52). I never lost the ability to move my legs, so I didn't have to spend too much time in the recovery area. We were in our room before midnight. I was able to breastfeed Petunia for the first time in the recovery area, and she latched on with no problem.
I was still in a bit of shock at how things had turned out, but not feeling too bad until after we got settled into our recovery room. Then I threw up. I threw up several times over then next day- I didn't really feel better until almost dinner time on Saturday, and only started eating normally on Sunday. (The nausea is caused by the anesthesia.) The the long-acting pain medicine that I'd had for surgery began to wear off on Saturday, and I started to really feel the incision. I couldn't get up easily to get Petunia when she cried, so Hubby had to bring her to me. I had a hard time finding a good position for breastfeeding that didn't hurt my incision, so I ended up not positioning Petunia well. I'm still working through the issues that caused. I can't imagine how overwhelmed I'd have felt if Petunia had been my first baby and I didn't know that breastfeeding gets much, much easier.
I'm doing much better now. I can almost walk at my normal pace, and can pick up Petunia without trouble. We did have to switch sides of the bed, though, and put Hubby next to the co-sleeper. We'll switch back as soon as I can lay on my side and turn over easily in bed. Breastfeeding is going really well- Petunia is having am much easier time with it that Pumpkin did.
Without a doubt, I preferred the vaginal delivery- even with the four hours of pushing. I cannot believe that some women actually opt for a C-section. I'd definitely take the pain of labor and the work of pushing over this longer, more difficult recovery!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Preparations
Hubby and I have been busy preparing our house for the new baby, with copious help from my Mom (who has been here since Thursday). We are far more prepared than I expected we would be. The office has mostly been merged into the guest room. The stuff that was stored in our old desk has either been stored in the new, smaller desk, stored elsewhere, or tossed. The baby's dresser has been organized and a plan made for the other furniture that is needed in the baby's room. A new system for storing Pumpkin's diapers has been found, and the changing table moved into the baby's room. A lot of this is due to my Mom, who enjoys crossing things off of to do lists even more than I do (and I really love crossing things off to do lists- just ask my coworkers). Hubby has put in a huge amount of work building the new desk and moving things around, too.
Really, we're almost ready. Of course, there is a rather large desk in the baby's room instead of a crib. But we're planning on having the baby in a cosleeper in our room for the first six months, so that is not as big of a problem as it might seem.
I continue to try to finish the work I did not finish before I went out on leave. Things are in OK shape- if I were to have the baby tonight (which would be fine with me- hint, hint, baby) everything would be OK. I'd have to come back and do a little work after a few weeks, but nothing bad would happen in the interim.
I'm also making progress on the perhaps more important mental preparations. I'm definitely ready to have the baby- I have been for a couple of weeks, ever since the contractions/cramping/mind games started. (Hint, hint, baby.) However, I've also been a bit wistful about the changes I know are coming in my relationship with Pumpkin, though. She is so smart and funny right now. She can be frustrating, as any 2 year old can be, but she is also a lot of fun to play with and talk to. She gets so excited about every new thing, and I want to be there to see everything. I've needed to rest, though, so she has gone on more outings without me. She comes back full of stories, which I love to hear. But I always wish I had been there! I know I need to start letting go a bit. Pumpkin is ready to go on more adventures without me, and I need to let that happen- both for Pumpkin and for my own sanity once the new baby arrives.
So on Saturday night, Pumpkin went on a sleepover at my sister's place, with my Mom. They watched a movie and ate ice cream. They got up the next morning and made trail mix and went to the zoo. She had a great time. Hubby and I went out to dinner, for perhaps the last time in, oh, maybe 6 months. (Who knows how long it will be before we have the bedtime routines down to the point where one person, not one of us, could be expected to handle them?) We had a great time, too. The next morning, Hubby and I worked in our new consolidated guest room/office. We made far more progress than we would have if Pumpkin was around. I was a little sad thinking of Pumpkin at the zoo without me- I have yet to see her actually touch an animal at the petting zoo (a recent advance for Pumpkin)!- but I'm getting better at this. Pumpkin came back and needed a little snuggle to settle into her nap. When she woke up from her nap, she told me all about her adventure with her Mimi and her aunt. And maybe hearing those stories was just as good as being there.
Really, we're almost ready. Of course, there is a rather large desk in the baby's room instead of a crib. But we're planning on having the baby in a cosleeper in our room for the first six months, so that is not as big of a problem as it might seem.
I continue to try to finish the work I did not finish before I went out on leave. Things are in OK shape- if I were to have the baby tonight (which would be fine with me- hint, hint, baby) everything would be OK. I'd have to come back and do a little work after a few weeks, but nothing bad would happen in the interim.
I'm also making progress on the perhaps more important mental preparations. I'm definitely ready to have the baby- I have been for a couple of weeks, ever since the contractions/cramping/mind games started. (Hint, hint, baby.) However, I've also been a bit wistful about the changes I know are coming in my relationship with Pumpkin, though. She is so smart and funny right now. She can be frustrating, as any 2 year old can be, but she is also a lot of fun to play with and talk to. She gets so excited about every new thing, and I want to be there to see everything. I've needed to rest, though, so she has gone on more outings without me. She comes back full of stories, which I love to hear. But I always wish I had been there! I know I need to start letting go a bit. Pumpkin is ready to go on more adventures without me, and I need to let that happen- both for Pumpkin and for my own sanity once the new baby arrives.
So on Saturday night, Pumpkin went on a sleepover at my sister's place, with my Mom. They watched a movie and ate ice cream. They got up the next morning and made trail mix and went to the zoo. She had a great time. Hubby and I went out to dinner, for perhaps the last time in, oh, maybe 6 months. (Who knows how long it will be before we have the bedtime routines down to the point where one person, not one of us, could be expected to handle them?) We had a great time, too. The next morning, Hubby and I worked in our new consolidated guest room/office. We made far more progress than we would have if Pumpkin was around. I was a little sad thinking of Pumpkin at the zoo without me- I have yet to see her actually touch an animal at the petting zoo (a recent advance for Pumpkin)!- but I'm getting better at this. Pumpkin came back and needed a little snuggle to settle into her nap. When she woke up from her nap, she told me all about her adventure with her Mimi and her aunt. And maybe hearing those stories was just as good as being there.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Home for the Duration
Tuesday was my last day of work. Pumpkin is clearly a bit confused by this change in routine. This morning, she asked me if I would be staying home to rest again. I explained that I would be home until after the baby was born. I don't think she really believed me.
Did I get everything done at work? As Pumpkin would say, "I did-nent". But I came close. I have a reasonably short list of things I'm trying to finish up from home. I can add that to the list of things I need to do at home- like continue merging the guest room and office so that the baby can have a room.
I worked for about an hour and a half yesterday, and will probably do the same today. It is amazing how much more I can get crossed off my list now that I am at home and free from needing to respond to the items people brought to me throughout the day.
I also took a nice long nap yesterday, and watched a fair amount of bad TV. I am always struck by the commercials that are on during the day time. There are the same commercials for cleaning supplies (aimed at the stay at home parent, no doubt), cheap car insurance (the person stuck at home because he/she can't insure the car?), and technical and trade schools (the person who needs a new, better job) that I remember from my last pre-baby stint at home. There is also a new category this time- commercials for gastric surgery weight loss products. I'm at a loss to explain those. Surely the seriously overweight have to work during the day, too?
Did I get everything done at work? As Pumpkin would say, "I did-nent". But I came close. I have a reasonably short list of things I'm trying to finish up from home. I can add that to the list of things I need to do at home- like continue merging the guest room and office so that the baby can have a room.
I worked for about an hour and a half yesterday, and will probably do the same today. It is amazing how much more I can get crossed off my list now that I am at home and free from needing to respond to the items people brought to me throughout the day.
I also took a nice long nap yesterday, and watched a fair amount of bad TV. I am always struck by the commercials that are on during the day time. There are the same commercials for cleaning supplies (aimed at the stay at home parent, no doubt), cheap car insurance (the person stuck at home because he/she can't insure the car?), and technical and trade schools (the person who needs a new, better job) that I remember from my last pre-baby stint at home. There is also a new category this time- commercials for gastric surgery weight loss products. I'm at a loss to explain those. Surely the seriously overweight have to work during the day, too?
Thursday, September 10, 2009
A Test of My Methods
After my 8 (yes, 8!) hours of not really labor pains on Tuesday, I decided to change my last day of work from September 22 to September 15. I am happy with that decision, because I had a lot of pain last night, too, and early signs are that tonight is not going to be much better. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and will be interested to find out what he makes of all this, and whether the pains are really "false" in that they are doing nothing, or if I am in fact starting to dilate. I started dilating several weeks before Pumpkin was born, so I suspect the latter.
Regardless, this raises two interesting questions:
1. Why are the pains coming only in the late afternoon/evening? Is this telling me something about when labor is likely to start? Or is it just due to me being tired? I don't think it can be that I am just more distracted during the day, because believe me, I notice these pains regardless of what I am trying to do at the time they come.
2. Can I actually get myself ready to go out on leave by next Tuesday? The obvious answer here is "no, of course not". By its nature, my current job does not lend itself to "finishing up". If I could really finish everything off before I leave, I'd be nervous about how long they'd keep me when I got back! The real question is whether I can get enough done not to leave anyone really in the lurch. This will be a test of my work methods. I really can't manage any extra hours right now- I'm barely making it through my usual work day. So can I get everything done with the hours I have? I started to suspect I might call it quits early about a week or so ago, and started to aggressively prioritize my tasks. I had already started a list of "things to do before going out on leave", so I revisited that list and picked out the truly critical things. I came up with four things. Two are now complete. One can be completed with a meeting, which is scheduled for next Tuesday (my last day- it was scheduled for today, but one of the other critical attendees had to leave town unexpectedly this week).
I'm working hard on the fourth thing now. It is a big one. I'm making progress, but I have to be honest- I'm nervous about completing it. I've broken it into smaller parts, and have prioritized the parts based on what will be easiest for my colleagues to pick up and finish without me. I will almost certainly finish the highest priority pieces of this task, unless I actually go into labor before next Tuesday. I am still hopeful I can finish it all.
In case you're curious, I've used a similar approach at home. We had a list of things to do to get ready for the baby. My fatigue-ridden pregnancy and the demands of a toddler conspired to prevent us from coming close to finishing everything on that list. So I prioritized it. We have all but one of the "must do" items done now.
Regardless, this raises two interesting questions:
1. Why are the pains coming only in the late afternoon/evening? Is this telling me something about when labor is likely to start? Or is it just due to me being tired? I don't think it can be that I am just more distracted during the day, because believe me, I notice these pains regardless of what I am trying to do at the time they come.
2. Can I actually get myself ready to go out on leave by next Tuesday? The obvious answer here is "no, of course not". By its nature, my current job does not lend itself to "finishing up". If I could really finish everything off before I leave, I'd be nervous about how long they'd keep me when I got back! The real question is whether I can get enough done not to leave anyone really in the lurch. This will be a test of my work methods. I really can't manage any extra hours right now- I'm barely making it through my usual work day. So can I get everything done with the hours I have? I started to suspect I might call it quits early about a week or so ago, and started to aggressively prioritize my tasks. I had already started a list of "things to do before going out on leave", so I revisited that list and picked out the truly critical things. I came up with four things. Two are now complete. One can be completed with a meeting, which is scheduled for next Tuesday (my last day- it was scheduled for today, but one of the other critical attendees had to leave town unexpectedly this week).
I'm working hard on the fourth thing now. It is a big one. I'm making progress, but I have to be honest- I'm nervous about completing it. I've broken it into smaller parts, and have prioritized the parts based on what will be easiest for my colleagues to pick up and finish without me. I will almost certainly finish the highest priority pieces of this task, unless I actually go into labor before next Tuesday. I am still hopeful I can finish it all.
In case you're curious, I've used a similar approach at home. We had a list of things to do to get ready for the baby. My fatigue-ridden pregnancy and the demands of a toddler conspired to prevent us from coming close to finishing everything on that list. So I prioritized it. We have all but one of the "must do" items done now.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Some Random, Unrelated Things
I've been having false labor pains for several hours. I know they are false because the feeling of contraction and the pain never occur at the same time. I remember enough about my first labor to know that these are not "real". (Of course, they still hurt, and tired as I am right now, I don't see the point of trying to go to bed while this is going on.)
About an hour ago, I remembered that I'd actually had something similar last time- pains strong enough to make me start timing them, but that didn't ever turn into real labor. I can't remember how long it lasted- I think about 6 hours. And more importantly, I can't remember how long after the false labor my water broke. I think it was at least a week.
If only I'd written these things down, I could torment myself with that (probably irrelevant) information now. So here I am, writing them down this time. But of course, I'm not planning on ever being pregnant again, so this is pretty useless. At least it is distracting me.
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I have realized that I left some incredibly cute things out of my recent post on cute things Pumpkin says:
About an hour ago, I remembered that I'd actually had something similar last time- pains strong enough to make me start timing them, but that didn't ever turn into real labor. I can't remember how long it lasted- I think about 6 hours. And more importantly, I can't remember how long after the false labor my water broke. I think it was at least a week.
If only I'd written these things down, I could torment myself with that (probably irrelevant) information now. So here I am, writing them down this time. But of course, I'm not planning on ever being pregnant again, so this is pretty useless. At least it is distracting me.
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I have realized that I left some incredibly cute things out of my recent post on cute things Pumpkin says:
- They aren't bunny rabbits. They are "rabbit bunnies".
- "Just a little bit", said while holding her thumb and forefinger together and squinting her eye, after being refused something. As in "I need to watch the Muppets, just a little bit, though".
- "Daddy said no to me!" Said in shock and horror, after her Daddy does indeed say no to her.
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
A Thoroughly Unoriginal Observation
The last month of pregnancy is designed* to ensure that you're happy to go into labor.
Everyone who sees me says something along the lines of "you're huge!" (I am). My stomach and legs itch. My back hurts. I'm having Braxton-Hicks contractions almost all the time. I'm tired, because even with my old standby Tylenol PM, I can't seem to sleep more than 6 hours in a night. I feel queasy some of the time (the doctor says this may mean I'm not drinking enough water- but I'm drinking ALL THE TIME).
The real kicker is that I know I'm having an easy pregnancy. Imagine how whiny I'd be if I'd had some actual complications.
*This, from a scientist who firmly believes in the theory of evolution. When I'm awake at night, tossing and turning because if I stay on one side for more than about 20 minutes my leg hurts, I amuse myself by trying to come up with the selective advantage to the miserableness of the last month of pregnancy. I haven't come up with anything plausible. Anyone else have any ideas?
Everyone who sees me says something along the lines of "you're huge!" (I am). My stomach and legs itch. My back hurts. I'm having Braxton-Hicks contractions almost all the time. I'm tired, because even with my old standby Tylenol PM, I can't seem to sleep more than 6 hours in a night. I feel queasy some of the time (the doctor says this may mean I'm not drinking enough water- but I'm drinking ALL THE TIME).
The real kicker is that I know I'm having an easy pregnancy. Imagine how whiny I'd be if I'd had some actual complications.
*This, from a scientist who firmly believes in the theory of evolution. When I'm awake at night, tossing and turning because if I stay on one side for more than about 20 minutes my leg hurts, I amuse myself by trying to come up with the selective advantage to the miserableness of the last month of pregnancy. I haven't come up with anything plausible. Anyone else have any ideas?
Monday, August 17, 2009
Following the Evidence
Last week, I read Birth Day
, by Mark Sloan. This is a fascinating tour of the history of childbirth and discussion of the modern practice of obstetrics, through the eyes of a pediatrician.
I should probably go back and read the book again, because it is the least combative and most informative thing I've found so far on childbirth options. Those of you who have never given birth may be unaware of the fierce battles that are waged around many things related to labor, delivery, and the care of newborns. Do epidurals represent the chance to minimize childbirth pain that all emancipated women should demand? Or are they an unnecessary intervention foisted on us by a medical establishment that has "medicalized" a natural process and is trying to scare us into submission? Is the increase in the number of C-sections an indication that we're taking appropriate measures to minimize the risk to mother and baby? Or an indication of how our health care system is out of control? And of course, there is the newly stirred up controversry about breastfeeding. The opposing sides allow no middle ground and distortions of the research are common. It is difficult to find an impartial guide through the research.
All of this hits you at a time when you're not really functioning at your peak levels of critical thought. First, you've waded through the murky risk analysis of choices during your pregnancy- should you avoid fresh strawberries for fear of Listeria? Is that handful of peanuts going to increase the chances that your baby has a peanut allergy? Will well-meaning strangers ever stop giving you advice on your baby's health? (Note to women pregnant with their first child: the answer to the last question, as far as I can tell, is NO.)
Then you go into labor. Even before it is intensely painful it is not exactly comfortable. Your hormones are doing something you've never experienced before. You and your partner are excited and more than a little bit freaked out. Then the real pain hits, and you either decide to have an epidural or work through the pain. Neither is a perfect option, and neither option is without risks. Despite the research you've done ahead of time, you really can't know what you'll do until you feel that pain. And even if you choose to have an epidural, labor isn't really an easy time in which you can sit back and weigh the pluses and minuses of the interventions on offer, Nor, as my experience with my first labor shows, will you necessarily remember the research you've done ahead of time.
Once the baby is born, you go on another brand new hormonal ride, this time with the added spice of extreme sleep deprivation.
There is no area in my life in which I feel less capable of being able to wade through the evidence and make good, sound decisions about what to do than this one. And yet, it is the area where it seems I most need to do it. Practices that the evidence clearly show will increase the chances of an uncomplicated birth (like, for instance, pushing in a more upright position) are not only not routinely used, sometimes they aren't even offered. I actually think my doctor and his nurse practicioner are fairly up to date on the latest research and give me good advice- but neither of them is likely to be there when I give birth.
In Birth Day, Mark Sloan cites some convincing research about how having a continuously present birth attendant (who is not the laboring woman's partner) greatly increases the chances of an uncomplicated birth. However, our current standard practice does not include this- the labor and delivery nurse is responsible for multiple laboring women, and so cannot be a continuous presence for any of them. It seems that doulas, which I had earlier dismissed as an unnecessary expense, may be well worth the money. Unfortunately, I may be coming to this conclusion a bit too late- I don't have the energy to research and interview doulas right now, and the first few I have come across are too "alternative medicine-y" to be a good fit for me. We will probably just rely on a "cheat sheet" to help Hubby and me remember what we've learned and the fact that second labors are usually a lot faster than the first.
What I really want, though, is a medical system that bases its care of me on the evidence. I want to rely on the medical staff attending my labor and delivery to guide me to know what that evidence says and to follow it- they are supposed to be the experts, afterall.
, by Mark Sloan. This is a fascinating tour of the history of childbirth and discussion of the modern practice of obstetrics, through the eyes of a pediatrician.I should probably go back and read the book again, because it is the least combative and most informative thing I've found so far on childbirth options. Those of you who have never given birth may be unaware of the fierce battles that are waged around many things related to labor, delivery, and the care of newborns. Do epidurals represent the chance to minimize childbirth pain that all emancipated women should demand? Or are they an unnecessary intervention foisted on us by a medical establishment that has "medicalized" a natural process and is trying to scare us into submission? Is the increase in the number of C-sections an indication that we're taking appropriate measures to minimize the risk to mother and baby? Or an indication of how our health care system is out of control? And of course, there is the newly stirred up controversry about breastfeeding. The opposing sides allow no middle ground and distortions of the research are common. It is difficult to find an impartial guide through the research.
All of this hits you at a time when you're not really functioning at your peak levels of critical thought. First, you've waded through the murky risk analysis of choices during your pregnancy- should you avoid fresh strawberries for fear of Listeria? Is that handful of peanuts going to increase the chances that your baby has a peanut allergy? Will well-meaning strangers ever stop giving you advice on your baby's health? (Note to women pregnant with their first child: the answer to the last question, as far as I can tell, is NO.)
Then you go into labor. Even before it is intensely painful it is not exactly comfortable. Your hormones are doing something you've never experienced before. You and your partner are excited and more than a little bit freaked out. Then the real pain hits, and you either decide to have an epidural or work through the pain. Neither is a perfect option, and neither option is without risks. Despite the research you've done ahead of time, you really can't know what you'll do until you feel that pain. And even if you choose to have an epidural, labor isn't really an easy time in which you can sit back and weigh the pluses and minuses of the interventions on offer, Nor, as my experience with my first labor shows, will you necessarily remember the research you've done ahead of time.
Once the baby is born, you go on another brand new hormonal ride, this time with the added spice of extreme sleep deprivation.
There is no area in my life in which I feel less capable of being able to wade through the evidence and make good, sound decisions about what to do than this one. And yet, it is the area where it seems I most need to do it. Practices that the evidence clearly show will increase the chances of an uncomplicated birth (like, for instance, pushing in a more upright position) are not only not routinely used, sometimes they aren't even offered. I actually think my doctor and his nurse practicioner are fairly up to date on the latest research and give me good advice- but neither of them is likely to be there when I give birth.
In Birth Day
, Mark Sloan cites some convincing research about how having a continuously present birth attendant (who is not the laboring woman's partner) greatly increases the chances of an uncomplicated birth. However, our current standard practice does not include this- the labor and delivery nurse is responsible for multiple laboring women, and so cannot be a continuous presence for any of them. It seems that doulas, which I had earlier dismissed as an unnecessary expense, may be well worth the money. Unfortunately, I may be coming to this conclusion a bit too late- I don't have the energy to research and interview doulas right now, and the first few I have come across are too "alternative medicine-y" to be a good fit for me. We will probably just rely on a "cheat sheet" to help Hubby and me remember what we've learned and the fact that second labors are usually a lot faster than the first.What I really want, though, is a medical system that bases its care of me on the evidence. I want to rely on the medical staff attending my labor and delivery to guide me to know what that evidence says and to follow it- they are supposed to be the experts, afterall.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Thoughts on Labor
I've never written about Pumpkin's birth. That is largely because labor and delivery was inconsequential when compared with all that has come after it. But now that I'm looking ahead to the birth of a second baby, I'm thinking about my first labor and delivery, and what I might do differently.
Pumpkin was born 5 days before her due date. I'd been having occasional contractions for a couple of weeks, and was already dilated to 2 or 3 cm, depending on whether it was my doctor or the nurse practitioner doing the measurement. My water broke at about noon on April 4. I was admitted to the hospital at about 2 (dilated to about 4 cm, if I remember properly), and because I am strep B positive, I was induced when active labor hadn't started by 8 p.m. I was free to walk around, but hooked up to an IV (with antibiotics- again, because I'm strep B positive). I didn't feel much like getting up and about because of all the amniotic fluid. I probably should have made more of an effort to do so, anyway.
Once I was induced, labor proceeded relatively quickly. Contractions came fast and hard, as advertised for induced labor. I got an epidural, but I think I only pushed the button to administer more drugs once. I started pushing at about midnight, and I could feel the urge to push, which had been my goal in resisting the lure of the epidural drug delivery button. I also had feeling in my legs, so the policy at the hospital I was at would have allowed me to change positions in bed. I didn't do that, though, and no one encouraged me to do so. I pushed Pumpkin out from a half sitting-half reclining position on the birthing bed.
I pushed for four hours. A doctor came in and said that if the baby didn't progress further soon, I'd have to have a C-section. This made me push harder, and after a couple more pushes, Pumpkin was down far enough that they could use the vacuum extractor to help finish the job.
I've since learned that four hours is about the cutoff for when they'll move you to a C-section, and that the doctor wasn't lying to me- I was really close to having a C-section.
I look back on this experience and am fairly happy with it, except for the part about pushing for four hours in a position that has been shown to be suboptimal for pushing. I have since learned that all beds in this hospital have squat bars, which can be put on to allow women to labor in the squatting or semi-squatting positions that use gravity to help with the pushing process. I had feeling in my legs, and could have done this. But no one suggested it. Instead, they were going to let me go and have major abdominal surgery.
This illustrates to me how badly broken our current health care system is, even for people like me, who have good health insurance and are reasonably healthy.
Some of my friends, upon hearing my birth story, tell me I should have had a doula. Maybe. But if our system is set up so that I need someone other than my doctors and nurses to help me avoid surgery, then that additional person should be a standard part of the labor and delivery process, not an extra person I have to find and pay outside of my usual payment scheme. Otherwise, there is one level of care for people wealthy enough to afford a doula (usual fees are about $700-$800 in my area) and another level of care for people who can't.
Others have said that my husband should have advocated for me. Maybe. My husband has many wonderful qualities as a labor and delivery coach, but assertiveness is never going to be one of them. Should my labor and delivery really depend that heavily on my husband's personality traits? And what happens to women who don't have a coach?
There is a lot of concern about our C-section rate (which was 31.1% in 2006, and is apparently still rising). I do not know what the "correct" C-section rate is- the WHO says about 12%, I think, but this article argues that that number is not really based on firm evidence, and that the best rate in terms of protecting both maternal and infant health may be higher. Regardless, it is pretty clear to me that I shouldn't have been as close to a C-section as I was back in 2007. The baby wasn't in distress, and there at least one other, much cheaper and frankly better option to try- namely, changing my position. As I said earlier, the hospital 's policy allows this with an epidural, as long as the patient can feel her legs and stays in the bed. They even have beds equipped to facilitate this.
So why did no one suggest I change positions? Hubby thinks it is because of liability concerns and that the C-section option is the "safer" one from the standpoint of not having a catastrophic outcome that leads to the hospital being sued. (I should point out that he has no evidence on which to base this theory. My hospital's C-section rate is about 20% and they are considered one of the more progressive hospitals in my area.)
I don't know. Maybe I had an old-school nurse who doesn't believe in using different labor positions. I saw at least three different doctors during my time in the delivery room- maybe they all assumed someone else had said something. During some recent research into what my options are for labor and delivery #2, I came across a blog post from a medical student who is going to do a study to try to find out why upright positions aren't used more during the pushing stage of labor. I wish her luck.
Anytime someone tells me that we shouldn't reform our health care system because we might "break what we have" I have to stiffle a laugh. It is already broken. The story of Pumpkin's birth is just one tiny illustration of one small way in which it is broken. If I weren't so tired tonight, I'd probably go on and on about my thoughts on the current health care debate. I'm fairly disgusted by most of the public participants, to be honest. I'll probably get disgusted enough that I come back and write up my thoughts later. In the meantime, you can read my comment on Pundit Mom's post on the issue if you're really curious about what I think!
Pumpkin was born 5 days before her due date. I'd been having occasional contractions for a couple of weeks, and was already dilated to 2 or 3 cm, depending on whether it was my doctor or the nurse practitioner doing the measurement. My water broke at about noon on April 4. I was admitted to the hospital at about 2 (dilated to about 4 cm, if I remember properly), and because I am strep B positive, I was induced when active labor hadn't started by 8 p.m. I was free to walk around, but hooked up to an IV (with antibiotics- again, because I'm strep B positive). I didn't feel much like getting up and about because of all the amniotic fluid. I probably should have made more of an effort to do so, anyway.
Once I was induced, labor proceeded relatively quickly. Contractions came fast and hard, as advertised for induced labor. I got an epidural, but I think I only pushed the button to administer more drugs once. I started pushing at about midnight, and I could feel the urge to push, which had been my goal in resisting the lure of the epidural drug delivery button. I also had feeling in my legs, so the policy at the hospital I was at would have allowed me to change positions in bed. I didn't do that, though, and no one encouraged me to do so. I pushed Pumpkin out from a half sitting-half reclining position on the birthing bed.
I pushed for four hours. A doctor came in and said that if the baby didn't progress further soon, I'd have to have a C-section. This made me push harder, and after a couple more pushes, Pumpkin was down far enough that they could use the vacuum extractor to help finish the job.
I've since learned that four hours is about the cutoff for when they'll move you to a C-section, and that the doctor wasn't lying to me- I was really close to having a C-section.
I look back on this experience and am fairly happy with it, except for the part about pushing for four hours in a position that has been shown to be suboptimal for pushing. I have since learned that all beds in this hospital have squat bars, which can be put on to allow women to labor in the squatting or semi-squatting positions that use gravity to help with the pushing process. I had feeling in my legs, and could have done this. But no one suggested it. Instead, they were going to let me go and have major abdominal surgery.
This illustrates to me how badly broken our current health care system is, even for people like me, who have good health insurance and are reasonably healthy.
Some of my friends, upon hearing my birth story, tell me I should have had a doula. Maybe. But if our system is set up so that I need someone other than my doctors and nurses to help me avoid surgery, then that additional person should be a standard part of the labor and delivery process, not an extra person I have to find and pay outside of my usual payment scheme. Otherwise, there is one level of care for people wealthy enough to afford a doula (usual fees are about $700-$800 in my area) and another level of care for people who can't.
Others have said that my husband should have advocated for me. Maybe. My husband has many wonderful qualities as a labor and delivery coach, but assertiveness is never going to be one of them. Should my labor and delivery really depend that heavily on my husband's personality traits? And what happens to women who don't have a coach?
There is a lot of concern about our C-section rate (which was 31.1% in 2006, and is apparently still rising). I do not know what the "correct" C-section rate is- the WHO says about 12%, I think, but this article argues that that number is not really based on firm evidence, and that the best rate in terms of protecting both maternal and infant health may be higher. Regardless, it is pretty clear to me that I shouldn't have been as close to a C-section as I was back in 2007. The baby wasn't in distress, and there at least one other, much cheaper and frankly better option to try- namely, changing my position. As I said earlier, the hospital 's policy allows this with an epidural, as long as the patient can feel her legs and stays in the bed. They even have beds equipped to facilitate this.
So why did no one suggest I change positions? Hubby thinks it is because of liability concerns and that the C-section option is the "safer" one from the standpoint of not having a catastrophic outcome that leads to the hospital being sued. (I should point out that he has no evidence on which to base this theory. My hospital's C-section rate is about 20% and they are considered one of the more progressive hospitals in my area.)
I don't know. Maybe I had an old-school nurse who doesn't believe in using different labor positions. I saw at least three different doctors during my time in the delivery room- maybe they all assumed someone else had said something. During some recent research into what my options are for labor and delivery #2, I came across a blog post from a medical student who is going to do a study to try to find out why upright positions aren't used more during the pushing stage of labor. I wish her luck.
Anytime someone tells me that we shouldn't reform our health care system because we might "break what we have" I have to stiffle a laugh. It is already broken. The story of Pumpkin's birth is just one tiny illustration of one small way in which it is broken. If I weren't so tired tonight, I'd probably go on and on about my thoughts on the current health care debate. I'm fairly disgusted by most of the public participants, to be honest. I'll probably get disgusted enough that I come back and write up my thoughts later. In the meantime, you can read my comment on Pundit Mom's post on the issue if you're really curious about what I think!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Feeling Fragile
One of my weirdest pregnancy symptoms is an increased feeling of fragility. I am much more aware of risks, and much more likely to think about risks so insignificant that they're rather silly (e.g., the risk of a car crashing through my bedroom window while we sleep). The feeling is not overwhelming or all-encompassing. One part of my brain comes up with these implausible scenarios, and another part is raising its eyebrows, saying "Really? We're going to worry about this?"
I noticed the fragile feeling the first time around, and thought that perhaps this was just a part of becoming a parent- suddenly, my life seems more important because there is a small, vulnerable other life depending on me. The feeling persisted a bit after I gave birth, even expanded to include the fragility of my new baby, but then it faded away to more normal parent worries.
I'd mostly forgotten the odd fragile feeling until it came roaring back at about month 4 or 5 of this pregnancy. This makes me think that the feeling is related to hormone levels and not just the knowledge of impending life changes. This is really annoying (it is not a fun feeling) but also very interesting. I wonder if anyone is looking at the impact of hormones on anxiety disorders? I think (but am not sure and certainly don't have the reference to back this up) that women are more likely to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder than men. Could it be the impact of our hormones? If so, does the fact that I experience a specialized increase in anxiety give any clues about which hormones are to blame? I wonder if there is anything in this that would help find new treatments for people who suffer from these disorders?
Some times I really miss being more involved in exploratory research. There was a time in my life (even in my post-grad school working life) when I could easily have justified spending a work afternoon seeing what the literature said about all of this.
I noticed the fragile feeling the first time around, and thought that perhaps this was just a part of becoming a parent- suddenly, my life seems more important because there is a small, vulnerable other life depending on me. The feeling persisted a bit after I gave birth, even expanded to include the fragility of my new baby, but then it faded away to more normal parent worries.
I'd mostly forgotten the odd fragile feeling until it came roaring back at about month 4 or 5 of this pregnancy. This makes me think that the feeling is related to hormone levels and not just the knowledge of impending life changes. This is really annoying (it is not a fun feeling) but also very interesting. I wonder if anyone is looking at the impact of hormones on anxiety disorders? I think (but am not sure and certainly don't have the reference to back this up) that women are more likely to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder than men. Could it be the impact of our hormones? If so, does the fact that I experience a specialized increase in anxiety give any clues about which hormones are to blame? I wonder if there is anything in this that would help find new treatments for people who suffer from these disorders?
Some times I really miss being more involved in exploratory research. There was a time in my life (even in my post-grad school working life) when I could easily have justified spending a work afternoon seeing what the literature said about all of this.
Monday, June 22, 2009
The Little Things
I was going to write a post about how am finding this pregnancy much harder than the first one (yeah, it isn't all sweetness and light here). I've never really gotten my energy back, although I do now find it possible to get off the sofa in the evenings. I haven't really found the right combination of meals and snacks to keep me feeling good. I'm feeling guilty for not pausing to enjoy the little kicks and punches that baby #2 is throwing- its like this baby is already playing second fiddle, even while still in the womb. Hubby is chaffing a bit under the strain of having to do even more around the house than he was doing before, and we're struggling to find our new routines even as we both know that it is only going to get harder when baby #2 is born. It is not that this pregnancy is more difficult in any large way, it is that the little inconveniences of pregnancy are harder to deal with this time around.
But I'm finding that I don't really have as much to say about this topic as I thought I did. Its hard. So what? Every time I listen to the news on NPR or read the Economist or even my local news website, I'm reminded of how good I have it. It seems churlish to complain. So instead, I'll share the thing that brightened my otherwise annoying work day today: an email from Modest Needs telling me that an application I'd contributed some money to a couple of months ago had been funded. A single mother in Florida had gotten her rent money. I hope it helps her get her grounding.
The email came in just before I closed up for the day. I left to pick up Pumpkin at day care feeling better than my flagging energy levels would have indicated. And to top it off, one of Pumpkin's friends came in as we were getting ready to leave, short-circuiting the "play with the magnetic letters" session that Pumpkin was getting started and getting us out the door and into our car in time to miss the worst of the evening traffic.
Pumpkin is really enjoying letters right now. She knows W, O, U, and H. She enjoys seeing traffic signs, because they have the "ABCDEFGs" on them. She particularly likes "One Way" signs, because W is her favorite letter. I clearly need to get her some magnetic letters for the refrigerator at home. I'm not having much luck finding big ones that are safe for kids under 3, though. Anyone know where I can find these? Preferably online? Pumpkin's not putting that many things in her mouth anymore, but I really like the idea of something that might keep her occupied without causing any worry while I cook dinner.
But I'm finding that I don't really have as much to say about this topic as I thought I did. Its hard. So what? Every time I listen to the news on NPR or read the Economist or even my local news website, I'm reminded of how good I have it. It seems churlish to complain. So instead, I'll share the thing that brightened my otherwise annoying work day today: an email from Modest Needs telling me that an application I'd contributed some money to a couple of months ago had been funded. A single mother in Florida had gotten her rent money. I hope it helps her get her grounding.
The email came in just before I closed up for the day. I left to pick up Pumpkin at day care feeling better than my flagging energy levels would have indicated. And to top it off, one of Pumpkin's friends came in as we were getting ready to leave, short-circuiting the "play with the magnetic letters" session that Pumpkin was getting started and getting us out the door and into our car in time to miss the worst of the evening traffic.
Pumpkin is really enjoying letters right now. She knows W, O, U, and H. She enjoys seeing traffic signs, because they have the "ABCDEFGs" on them. She particularly likes "One Way" signs, because W is her favorite letter. I clearly need to get her some magnetic letters for the refrigerator at home. I'm not having much luck finding big ones that are safe for kids under 3, though. Anyone know where I can find these? Preferably online? Pumpkin's not putting that many things in her mouth anymore, but I really like the idea of something that might keep her occupied without causing any worry while I cook dinner.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Keeping Us Humble
I was planning to write up a post or two this weekend about our recent trip to Oregon. That is not going to happen. It has been a remarkably unsuccessful weekend, in which we learned that if I don't get enough sleep at night I will spend the entire next day sleeping or trying to find a way to sleep and that the schedule flexibility Pumpkin showed on the trip does not extend to days at home.
So tonight, Pumpkin and I are both tired and a bit prone to mood swings, Hubby is frustrated and still trying to cross things off our to do list, and I think I should clean my desk rather than spend much time blogging. The trip story will have to wait!
So tonight, Pumpkin and I are both tired and a bit prone to mood swings, Hubby is frustrated and still trying to cross things off our to do list, and I think I should clean my desk rather than spend much time blogging. The trip story will have to wait!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Feeling Lucky
As I mentioned yesterday, I was in a bit of a funk recently. I pulled out of it not because any of the fundamentals changed- I'm still tired, occasionally nauseous, with itchy legs (although that's a lot better thanks to the magic cream). My perspective changed, because several things reminded me just how lucky I am.
I have had a lot of time to think about things lately. This time occurs primarily at Pumpkin's bedtime, when she insists that Mommy come lay down next to her so that she can fall asleep with my hair held firmly in her little hands. I've been reflecting on some posts I have read recently and remembering that I'm actually very happy to be an exhausted pregnant woman with an overly energetic toddler. (Said toddler, by the way, is outside doing yard work with Hubby. On her way out, she shook her finger at me and told me to "go rest, Mommy". How sweet is that?)
For one thing, as a recent post on A Little Bit Pregnant reminded me, there are many women in this world who desperately want to be pregnant and can't be, for a variety of reasons. There are also many pregnant women who have complications far worse than itchy legs. I have had the good fortune to have an easy time getting pregnant and to have healthy pregnancies (at least so far), and I am very grateful for that good fortune.
I am also lucky to be able to enjoy Pumpkin, with all her two year old behaviors, both exasperating and endearing. A recent post on Moxie's site reminded me that some parents have to function under a cloud of suspicion. And some parents lose the plot altogether and descend into abuse. Abuse is not something I can really understand, but I have been doing a lot of thinking about how we as a society might do a better job of preventing it and also about what I personally might do to reduce the number of children who experience abuse. I don't have any good answers to those questions. I think few abusers really intend to become abusive, and that isolation, difficult circumstances, unrealistic expectations of children, and a lack of back up or support often contribute to abuse. I don't know how to fix any of those problems, though. I donate to a local organization called Home Start that works with "at risk" families. I'd like to do more- I'm just not sure what.
I also recognize that I'm lucky that my parenting skills haven't been tested by any of the problems I listed above. I have a wonderfully supportive network of family and friends, a fully involved partner with a similar parenting philosophy, and pretty easy living circumstances*, really.
All told, I am feeling pretty lucky. But I still wish Pumpkin would fall asleep a little easier.
------------------------------
* Which is not to say that I think our society does a good job supporting parents in general or working parents in particular. But this is a happy, upbeat post. Maybe some other time I'll post a rant about the difficulties with being a parent in our society, and how wrong it is that so much of a parent's experience comes down to luck.
I have had a lot of time to think about things lately. This time occurs primarily at Pumpkin's bedtime, when she insists that Mommy come lay down next to her so that she can fall asleep with my hair held firmly in her little hands. I've been reflecting on some posts I have read recently and remembering that I'm actually very happy to be an exhausted pregnant woman with an overly energetic toddler. (Said toddler, by the way, is outside doing yard work with Hubby. On her way out, she shook her finger at me and told me to "go rest, Mommy". How sweet is that?)
For one thing, as a recent post on A Little Bit Pregnant reminded me, there are many women in this world who desperately want to be pregnant and can't be, for a variety of reasons. There are also many pregnant women who have complications far worse than itchy legs. I have had the good fortune to have an easy time getting pregnant and to have healthy pregnancies (at least so far), and I am very grateful for that good fortune.
I am also lucky to be able to enjoy Pumpkin, with all her two year old behaviors, both exasperating and endearing. A recent post on Moxie's site reminded me that some parents have to function under a cloud of suspicion. And some parents lose the plot altogether and descend into abuse. Abuse is not something I can really understand, but I have been doing a lot of thinking about how we as a society might do a better job of preventing it and also about what I personally might do to reduce the number of children who experience abuse. I don't have any good answers to those questions. I think few abusers really intend to become abusive, and that isolation, difficult circumstances, unrealistic expectations of children, and a lack of back up or support often contribute to abuse. I don't know how to fix any of those problems, though. I donate to a local organization called Home Start that works with "at risk" families. I'd like to do more- I'm just not sure what.
I also recognize that I'm lucky that my parenting skills haven't been tested by any of the problems I listed above. I have a wonderfully supportive network of family and friends, a fully involved partner with a similar parenting philosophy, and pretty easy living circumstances*, really.
All told, I am feeling pretty lucky. But I still wish Pumpkin would fall asleep a little easier.
------------------------------
* Which is not to say that I think our society does a good job supporting parents in general or working parents in particular. But this is a happy, upbeat post. Maybe some other time I'll post a rant about the difficulties with being a parent in our society, and how wrong it is that so much of a parent's experience comes down to luck.
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