Today's post on Ask Moxie was meant to be a support-fest for parents of kids with special needs. Unfortunately, it got seriously sidetracked into a sort of debate about whether or not the accommodations required for kids with food allergies is too much to ask of parents of "normal" kids. I suspect a lot of things got misinterpreted on both sides, but it is always sad when the discussion on the Moxie site, which is normally so supportive, gets ugly.
I can sort of see both sides of this. I am firmly in favor of making any accommodations necessary to keep a child with a genuine food allergy safe. Pumpkin is a ridiculously picky eater, but even so, if someone in her class had an allergy that meant it wasn't safe for her to have milk (for instance) at day care, we'd adjust. However, I have run across parents who say their kid has a food allergy when really the kid has a food intolerance. An allergy involves the immune system and can cause anaphylaxis, even, in some rare cases, when the child picks up trace amounts of the allergen from his or her environment. I don't think the mechanism of most intolerances is known, but they cannot lead to anaphylaxis. Both are horrible for the kid involved, but an intolerance generally doesn't require that surrounding children avoid the offending food, too. As long as the child with the intolerance doesn't eat the food, he or she will be fine. I suppose that if I suspected the child whose "allergy" was causing me to do snack time contortions was actually suffering from an intolerance, I'd be a little cranky about it. But I hope that I would always give the parents the benefit of the doubt- having any sort of serious issues with the food you feed your child must be so draining. I find it hard to figure out what to feed Pumpkin, and we don't have any foods that we must avoid, just foods that she won't eat.
Anyway, somewhere on the second page of comments, Julie posted a wonderful comment that included a reminder that working to make the accommodations needed to be inclusive in our public schools is worth the effort, and that all kids benefit, not just the "mainstreamed" kids. I really think this is true. Back when I was in kindergarten, there were two "mainstreamed" kids in my class. All these years later, I remember those kids- and not because of any accommodations that were made or issues we had. I don't remember any of those (the adults involved must have done a good job). I just remember the kids. Most of us rarely interact with people of different abilities and with different needs in our day to day lives. I have to think that if we get that chance as children, and it is handled well by the adults around us, we really learn that everyone has something to contribute and that we should not assume that someone who looks different from us will contribute less.
I think I will end this post with a reminder that I finally posted my review of the Baby Signing Time DVDs that I was sent. If the Signing Time story isn't the perfect example of how making "accommodations" for kids with "special needs" can benefit everyone, I don't know what is. A project that started as a way to teach friends and family of one deaf little girl how to communicate with her has grown into something that has helped scores of of kids of all sorts communicate better. I am glad that Rachel decided to try to help the rest of us "accommodate" her daughter. We will almost certainly never meet her daughter, but we have definitely benefited from the DVDs.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Review: Baby Signing Time Volumes 3 and 4
As I mentioned earlier, the nice folks at Two Little Hands Productions left me a comment asking if I'd like to review a couple of the new Baby Signing TIme DVDs. Since Pumpkin watches her Signing Time DVDs with something akin to religious fervor, I of course said yes.
The screening DVD arrived about two weeks ago. I put it in the DVD player almost immediately, because Pumpkin usually gets to watch a Singing Time DVD when we get home (it gives me time to put away our stuff and start dinner). The two episodes on the DVD are "A New Day" and "Let's Be Friends". My immediate impression was that I liked the "regular" Signing Time series better- and I still think that they are a bit easier on the adults who are watching with the baby. The Baby Signing Time series consists mainly of songs, with "pauses" in the songs to introduce new signs. Most of the songs seem simpler than those in the original series , which I suppose makes sense given the younger target audience. Also, since Alex and Leah are much older than babies now, they are represented as cartoons. There are still plenty of other cute babies signing, though. And one of my favorite parts of any of the DVDs is during the song that ends Baby Signing Time volume 3. The song is about how quickly babies grow up, and they show Alex and Leah signing "baby" in the original series, followed by them signing "baby" now. That scene made me want to go hug Pumpkin! In general, I like the songs in the original series better, but this song ("Tiny Hands") is sweet, and the "Everyone Crawl Like a Bug" song is a lot of fun.
Regardless of what I though, Pumpkin was hooked right away. She now asks for "Bay-bee ee-ee!" ("Baby T.V.") and sometimes loudly says "Noooo!" and signs "baby" when I put one of the original DVDs on for her. It may be that she had just gotten bored with the original series, which she has watched many times over. Or it maybe that the higher ratio of singing time to non-signing time and the babies sitting in front of simple, boldly colored backgrounds appeals to her.
I was a bit disappointed that most of the signs in these two episodes are already covered in the episodes of the regular Signing Time that I have (I have volumes 1-4 and 6). However, there are still some useful new signs (like "again", although Pumpkin usually just signs "more" if she wants to do something again). Also, I think the repetition of signs in a new setting might help Pumpkin learn them- I am fairly certain that she learned "rain" from the Baby Signing Time DVDs, and not the original series. Of course, since we live in San Diego, she is unlikely to need to use that sign anytime soon. This is a shame, because she enjoys signing "rain" almost as much as she enjoyed signing "cold" in the early days.
Bottom line: these DVDs are good. So are the DVDs in the original series. I am so glad that a friend gave me the original DVDs and got us started on this. The number of tantrums Pumpkin threw went down sharply once she learned to sign "cracker" (her favorite food, but a word she doesn't even try to say yet- I think the hard C sounds are still too hard for her). Pumpkin is not a particularly early or good talker, but she is a great communicator. Before we started signing with her, she'd point and nod, trying to get us to understand what she wanted. Now she signs and talks, sometimes using both the sign and the word, sometimes only using the sign, sometimes only using the word. I think she has learned spoken words as well as signs from these DVDs.
When I mention that we are signing with Pumpkin to a parent of a younger baby, the other parent often says "oh, we're too lazy to do that" or "oh, that is too hard" in reply. That's what we originally thought, so we didn't start signing until Pumpkin was almost 14 months old. We only started because they were using some basic signs in day care, which she started using at home. We wanted to know what she was saying to us. But now I know that it is so much easier to sign than not to. We just put a DVD in and let her watch it. The signs are repeated so much that we learn them quickly, even if we don't always have the time to sit down and watch the DVD with her. Really, the hardest part was getting over the guilt about letting Pumpkin watch something on TV. (I'm completely over that now, thanks.)
The screening DVD arrived about two weeks ago. I put it in the DVD player almost immediately, because Pumpkin usually gets to watch a Singing Time DVD when we get home (it gives me time to put away our stuff and start dinner). The two episodes on the DVD are "A New Day" and "Let's Be Friends". My immediate impression was that I liked the "regular" Signing Time series better- and I still think that they are a bit easier on the adults who are watching with the baby. The Baby Signing Time series consists mainly of songs, with "pauses" in the songs to introduce new signs. Most of the songs seem simpler than those in the original series , which I suppose makes sense given the younger target audience. Also, since Alex and Leah are much older than babies now, they are represented as cartoons. There are still plenty of other cute babies signing, though. And one of my favorite parts of any of the DVDs is during the song that ends Baby Signing Time volume 3. The song is about how quickly babies grow up, and they show Alex and Leah signing "baby" in the original series, followed by them signing "baby" now. That scene made me want to go hug Pumpkin! In general, I like the songs in the original series better, but this song ("Tiny Hands") is sweet, and the "Everyone Crawl Like a Bug" song is a lot of fun.
Regardless of what I though, Pumpkin was hooked right away. She now asks for "Bay-bee ee-ee!" ("Baby T.V.") and sometimes loudly says "Noooo!" and signs "baby" when I put one of the original DVDs on for her. It may be that she had just gotten bored with the original series, which she has watched many times over. Or it maybe that the higher ratio of singing time to non-signing time and the babies sitting in front of simple, boldly colored backgrounds appeals to her.
I was a bit disappointed that most of the signs in these two episodes are already covered in the episodes of the regular Signing Time that I have (I have volumes 1-4 and 6). However, there are still some useful new signs (like "again", although Pumpkin usually just signs "more" if she wants to do something again). Also, I think the repetition of signs in a new setting might help Pumpkin learn them- I am fairly certain that she learned "rain" from the Baby Signing Time DVDs, and not the original series. Of course, since we live in San Diego, she is unlikely to need to use that sign anytime soon. This is a shame, because she enjoys signing "rain" almost as much as she enjoyed signing "cold" in the early days.
Bottom line: these DVDs are good. So are the DVDs in the original series. I am so glad that a friend gave me the original DVDs and got us started on this. The number of tantrums Pumpkin threw went down sharply once she learned to sign "cracker" (her favorite food, but a word she doesn't even try to say yet- I think the hard C sounds are still too hard for her). Pumpkin is not a particularly early or good talker, but she is a great communicator. Before we started signing with her, she'd point and nod, trying to get us to understand what she wanted. Now she signs and talks, sometimes using both the sign and the word, sometimes only using the sign, sometimes only using the word. I think she has learned spoken words as well as signs from these DVDs.
When I mention that we are signing with Pumpkin to a parent of a younger baby, the other parent often says "oh, we're too lazy to do that" or "oh, that is too hard" in reply. That's what we originally thought, so we didn't start signing until Pumpkin was almost 14 months old. We only started because they were using some basic signs in day care, which she started using at home. We wanted to know what she was saying to us. But now I know that it is so much easier to sign than not to. We just put a DVD in and let her watch it. The signs are repeated so much that we learn them quickly, even if we don't always have the time to sit down and watch the DVD with her. Really, the hardest part was getting over the guilt about letting Pumpkin watch something on TV. (I'm completely over that now, thanks.)
Thursday, September 25, 2008
So Clean!
I came home to an eerily clean house yesterday. It was wonderful, and that was only slightly offset by the annoyance of having to bustle around the night before picking up toys and books and clothes and other random things that might prevent something from being cleaned.
Hubby and I finally settled on getting the cleaning service to come once a month, and yesterday was the first cleaning. I had a training class that started early, so I took Pumpkin to day care and Hubby stayed at home to meet the cleaners. This meant that I left a dirty house and came home to a sparkling clean house, and never even saw the people who cleaned it. This is how it will mostly be, because I leave before 8 a.m. most mornings, and they will be coming at 8 a.m. every fourth Wednesday. It is sort of like having cleaning elves. Except we pay them.
Hubby and I finally settled on getting the cleaning service to come once a month, and yesterday was the first cleaning. I had a training class that started early, so I took Pumpkin to day care and Hubby stayed at home to meet the cleaners. This meant that I left a dirty house and came home to a sparkling clean house, and never even saw the people who cleaned it. This is how it will mostly be, because I leave before 8 a.m. most mornings, and they will be coming at 8 a.m. every fourth Wednesday. It is sort of like having cleaning elves. Except we pay them.
Monday, September 22, 2008
What a Waste
One of the annoying things about parenthood that never occurred to me before I became a parent is the sheer amount of waste that comes with a baby. I'm not talking about diapers- that had occurred to me. I am talking about food. Every day, I throw out perfectly good strawberries that have been squashed rather than eaten, apples that have been nibbled on and then tossed to the floor so many times that they are too bruised to eat, milk that was requested but not drunk... as you probably know too well, the list goes on and on.
I am not particularly squeamish about eating after Pumpkin (unless she is showing signs of being ill), but I cannot keep up with what she discards. I have to keep offering a wide variety of foods, because that is the only way to increase her still quite limited palette. But one aspect of the "you may have to introduce a new food as many as 15 times" doctrine that none of the advice books address is how bad you'll feel about all that food you will throw away on the 14 unsuccessful tries!
At least we have a compost heap, so some of that wasted food gets recycled.
I will be writing my review of the Baby Signing Time volumes that I mentioned a couple of weeks ago soon. Pumpkin's sleep has been pretty bad lately, and she has been insisting that I get her down for the night. Hubby is trying to break that pattern right now, and I think I will go to bed early. I may waste a lot of food, but I try not to waste an opportunity to get some extra sleep!
I am not particularly squeamish about eating after Pumpkin (unless she is showing signs of being ill), but I cannot keep up with what she discards. I have to keep offering a wide variety of foods, because that is the only way to increase her still quite limited palette. But one aspect of the "you may have to introduce a new food as many as 15 times" doctrine that none of the advice books address is how bad you'll feel about all that food you will throw away on the 14 unsuccessful tries!
At least we have a compost heap, so some of that wasted food gets recycled.
I will be writing my review of the Baby Signing Time volumes that I mentioned a couple of weeks ago soon. Pumpkin's sleep has been pretty bad lately, and she has been insisting that I get her down for the night. Hubby is trying to break that pattern right now, and I think I will go to bed early. I may waste a lot of food, but I try not to waste an opportunity to get some extra sleep!
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