I have been having problems with my neck, where it periodically gets tweaked, for the lack of a better word. One side sort of seizes up. making it very painful to look up, down, or in any direction except straight-ahead, really. It is odd, because the side that is having this trouble is the opposite side from the arm that has the long-standing repetitive strain injury. I'm not sure what to make of this new issue. I should probably see a doctor. I should certainly find a way to fully revive my struggling yoga practice.
I noticed many years ago that the thing that most helped my injured arm was not physical therapy, the direct stretches the therapists gave me, or the various anti-inflammatory and muscle relaxing medicines we tried. It was yoga. My theory is that it was the one treatment I tried that viewed my body as a whole as the system, and didn't just focus on my hurt arm. When my arm was at its worst, certain lower body stretches were harder. When I was able to most fluidly do a wide variety of poses, my arm felt best.
Yoga helps me keep my asthma under control, too (my theory on that one is related to its overall relaxing properties and focus on breathing deeply).
I just feel best when I have a regular practice.
And yet, I struggle to do a lame 20 minute yoga DVD one or two times per week. What I really want is a weekly class and a 15 minute nightly practice.
Surely, now that I've cut the hours I "owe" to any company down to roughly 20 per week, I should be able to make room for the practice I want. But it is not so simple. A nightly practice is probably unreasonable given my low sleep needs children and our small house. I may not owe any company more than 20 hours per week, but I owe myself some hours, too, or else my grand experiment will come to nothing. I happened to have quit my full time job at a time of year when there is a lot going on in the kids' schedules and other home-related demands on my time, and Mr. Snarky and I are having to work hard to keep the kids from siphoning away the majority of the time I freed up. At the same time, one of the things I wanted to do with the de-stressed schedule was to spend more time really present with my kids. I am still working to figure out how to be, really. I know that everything I want is achievable in the time I have now. My schedule needs some adjustments. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out what those are just yet.
I am tweaking things around the edges- I spent 20 minutes doing yoga tonight before I sat down to write this post. However, I feel far from the optimum, and a bit unmoored in terms of what configuration I'm even aiming to achieve.
Luckily, we have a vacation coming up soon. Getting away from our routine always helps me think about these issues in a different way. I will no doubt spend some time meditating on what I want really my life to be like- not what various groups of people think my life should be like, but what I actually want right now. Maybe, with a little luck, I'll even get to meditate in the literal sense rather than just the figurative.
I think I need to make some time for this blog, too. It has always been my space for working through these sorts of issues. I probably need to write some more navel-gazing posts soon. First, though, I'm going to get that job search ebook off to my beta readers- my goal is to send it out Wednesday. (Thanks for all the title suggestions! They were really helpful.) And I have a much delayed Ask Cloud post to write, a trip to Torrance to tell you about and a few other drafts to turn into posts. I've learned over the years of blogging that sometimes the posts that shake a mental block loose are the ones that seem to be about something completely unrelated- so I'm just going to write what I want and see what happens.
But right now, I'm heading to bed, so that I might get up in the morning and do some yoga.