First of all, this post is a bit whiny and self-indulgent. Click away if that is going to annoy you. If you stay- don't say you weren't warned!
Second of all, to understand this post, you need to remember that Petunia is in the "I know what I want, but I can't always communicate it, and I certainly don't accept that I can't always have it" phase. I had forgotten how frustrating that phase is for all involved. I am well and truly tired of being screamed at.
Thursdays are the day of the week that I (theoretically) go for a run (OK, pathetic jog) after work. Originally, Hubby was going to pick both kids up at day care, and I would leave straight from work to drive to the bay and go for a run. Even with the run, I'd get home before everyone else, and get a load of laundry started and some sit ups in before Hubby got home with the kids.
That lasted for about a month, and was glorious while it lasted.
But then we wanted to start Pumpkin in swim lessons, and decided to do it on a weeknight because we already have Chinese lessons every other weekend. Both swim lessons and my run interfere a bit with our usual dinner routine, necessitating leftovers. Because we prioritize family dinners, we didn't want to do that twice a week. (And now that we have soccer on Tuesdays, which leads to us eating out every Tuesday night, we're even less inclined to add another leftovers night to the mix.)
So I started picking Petunia up before my run, and taking her with me. The idea was that she would come along in the jogging stroller for my run, and then get 5-10 minutes at the playground before we went home.
That worked for maybe two weeks. Then Petunia started fighting getting in her stroller. Despite what Hubby might tell you about what a softy I am, this is not just a case of me being insufficiently stubborn: one time, she screamed for 20 minutes in the stroller. I hate to inflict that on everyone else trying to enjoy the bay.
But then I had an idea- what if I took snacks and a drink for Petunia? I could bribe her into her stroller! That worked beautifully. For one week.
Today, I left my workout clothes at home, but remembered everything else I need (jogging stroller, drink and snacks for Petunia) and was wearing comfortable shoes, so I decided to go for a walk by the bay. I bribed Petunia into her stroller and set off. But, about 10 minutes in, she started asking for cereal. I didn't have any. Screaming ensued.
After what seemed like an hour, we finally got back to the playground. (Have you ever noticed how slowly time passes when your toddler is screaming?) Petunia wanted to go on the swing, but only if she could hold her bowl of crackers (which she had previously tried to throw on the ground in a fit of pique over the absence of cereal). With the lid off. At a precarious angle. If I tried to adjust any of this, she screamed.
Then, when it was time to go, she screamed.
Then, when I got her in the car, and took the now empty bowl of crackers and dumped out the crumbs before handing it back to her, she decided to scream the entire way home.
I'm leaning towards giving up on the Thursday evening run idea. Getting screamed at for 20-30 minutes in a public place is stressing me out.
After all that screaming, I really wanted to do yoga tonight. But Petunia's bedtime has had to shift later, to minimize the screaming at bedtime (if she's tired, she goes down with much less fuss). I tried to convince Pumpkin to trade the first part of her bedtime routine (listening to exactly four songs on one of her CDs) for 15 minutes of extra time before bedtime. No dice. She tried it twice, and wanted to go back to her original routine. Doing yoga when Petunia is awake is just not possible- she thinks it is a variation of a game she plays with Daddy and climbs on me. So, no yoga. (Although... Pumpkin hasn't called for me in a good five minutes... maybe she's asleep and I can go do it now? Or, I could have a beer and try to forget all the screaming.)
This, my friends, is why I have not lost the five pounds it would take to get me back into the "healthy" weight range. When some well meaning person tells me that I "just" need to "make time for myself" and go exercise, I want to punch them in the face. I'm good at logistics. I view scheduling everything that everyone in the family needs/wants to do as a puzzle and don't generally mind figuring out how to make it happen. But I haven't figured this puzzle out yet. I'm now looking at whether I can protect enough time during one of my work days to allow me to go work out during the day with any regularity. That's hard at this job, so I consider that a seriously suboptimal solution, which will probably result in me skipping a lot of workouts due to meetings. But if my only other option is getting screamed at while I try to run? Maybe it isn't so bad.