Monday, September 05, 2022

Labor Day Thoughts

 Happy Labor Day! It is a much needed long weekend for me.

My work situation is still muddled. Back when I was actively angry about how things had gone at my current company, I stopped saying "no" automatically to people who contacted me on LinkedIn. That didn't lead to much right away, but I think word has gotten out in the industry that things are unsettled at my company, because in the last month or so I have some several much higher quality contacts and now I've got three potential different options to explore. I am trying to decide what to do about those.  I have had a couple of phone conversations about each but haven't sent a resume in for any of them. I am also trying to decide if I should also start a proper job search. 

There are signs my current company will sort itself out in the mid-term, but I'm not sure if I have the patience left to wait for that. On the other hand, there are some things I really like at my current company and some financial incentives to stay.... But on the other other hand, I think I could boost my salary by a fair amount if I move, particularly if I pursue one of the opportunities that would give me a significant title bump.

I need to decide what to do soon. The uncertainty is creating tension that has settled in my shoulders and neck (ouch) and I just in general do not like how it is making me feel. But I also don't want to make any hasty decisions. So it is a bit of a conundrum.


We are in the midst of a heat wave here in Southern California. It is hot enough out that even I, the former desert dweller, don't want to do much outside. Luckily, our heat pump, solar panels, and home battery mean that it is nice and cool in our house all day and we still contributed energy back to the grid during the peak hour 4 - 9 p.m. period yesterday.  

I tease my husband for the way he optimizes our home energy flow, balancing charging the car and charging the home battery... but I can't argue with the results.


I, meanwhile, have spent the last four weeks trying to find bras that fit. (Warning: bra talk follows. Stop reading now if that is of no interest to you!)

You may not think the bra fit problem and the energy optimization problem are problems of similar complexity, but let me assure you that in fact the bra fitting problem is harder. I have been fitted in multiple stores over the years and the results have been multiple sets of expensive bras that are not comfortable. I used to have a "go to" style and brand that I could buy on Amazon for ~$25, which, for a woman my size, is a freaking miracle. Unfortunately, the pandemic weight gain made those not fit... and so I embarked on my most recent round of bra searching. 

I tried Third Love and Cuup but I eventually realized that their supposedly smart fitting wizards led me far astray. I finally found a bra that fits via the fitting quiz on the Montelle site, which is measurement based. And even then, the bra that actually fits the best is not the size the quiz told me I was, but that size's sister size. (For those who don't know, once you're over a D cup, measurements do not map to sizes in a standard way - you need to know how the particular brand sizes it cups. It is very annoying.) 

I also found the information on very helpful - particularly this article about where your underwires are supposed to hit.

I think I have finally landed on the right size - I am up both one band size and one cup size from my old go-to, but it retrospect that old go-to was probably one cup size too small. And I think I am actually up a half a band size, because the bra fits best on the middle hook not the loosest hook. 

So, that's a happy outcome, but because it took so long and because I generally need to wear a bra for several hours to know if it is truly going to work out I now have a handful of unreturnable, expensive bras in the wrong sizes. I am thinking of trying to find a domestic violence shelter to donate them to. But I also wonder if I should hold on to a couple in case my size changes again. 

Also, I still don't have a new go to bra style, just a firm idea of what my size is. I still have to experiment with different styles to find the best one. 

I can't believe the amount of mental energy I've put into bras recently. I look forward to being done with that!


And now I should log out and go finish my chores for the weekend. I hope those of you who also have a three day weekend are enjoying the extra day off!


  1. I feel your pain regarding bras. When women below DD cup complain about bras like we live in the same bra-purchasing universe, I get really stabby. It is so, SO frustrating trying to find a decent bra that fits. Even plus-size stores will go sky-high for band size, which I don't need, but not nearly high enough in cup size (Lane Bryant, the traitors, will only go to DD or something. I mean, really?)

    I have given up on underwires for several reasons, and I go for fabric only (wireless bras in large-cup sizes are a real marvel of structural engineering). These days I only wear Glamorise, and I like their MagicLift Minimizer Bra, but they don't go high enough in cup size, sadly (highest is I); I do buy a few of their 40 I because they are cute and I wear them when I need to give my shoulders a break, as they are so very soft. The all-cotton ones (I like MagicLift Cotton Support Bra) go almost as high as I need them in cup size (I wear it in 40 J; cup doesn't go past J, but it's close enough), so those are the ones I have most of. It sucks that the color selection is crappy but I guess that's what you get if you want cotton, and the shoulder strap is f*cking murder, but they are the best fit and the best look under clothes that I've managed to find so far.

    1. You definitely have a harder size than I do - I've landed on 40 F as what is probably my correct size. I've never had luck with non-underwire bras. I'll check out the brands you mention!

    2. Anonymous2:40 PM

      I am 38D and find wireless comfortable bras on Macy's online store.

  2. Good luck on the job search decision! I'm definitely applying this year. (If you want to know a secret, I'm being recruited up North of you a bit for my literal dream job and I really really really hope it happens. Not buying any real estate yet, though I have been putting a lot of way premature thought into whether it's better to rent for 6K/month or to buy with a lot down down and housing expenses of 8K/month... Otherwise, well, there's openings this year in places with a lot of snow and more affordable housing.)

    1. Thanks! I hope the dream job works out and if it does email the location and I will see if I know anyone with real estate advice for that area. In my area, I'd be tempted to do a month-to-month rental to take the pressure off finding a place. The market is definitely slowing down but I am still hearing of people competing for houses. We bought at the start of a previous downturn and it was much easier to buy without having to worry a lot about competition!

  3. Anonymous2:06 PM

    Finding a good bra is so tough. I've had some good luck with lately (no affiliation). I did a virtual fitting with them, and the person was friendly and professional. They have lots of styles and colors in a wide range of sizes.

    Best wishes for your work situation! Your career reflections have been very helpful for me over the years, and I hope you end up in a situation where your talents are valued.

    1. Thank you! I'll have to check out knix. Coincidentally, I just bought something for one of my daughters there.

  4. Socal Dendrite11:22 AM

    Ugh, bras. My boobs were always uneven and it got worse after children. Regular fixes like inserts don't seem to help much, somehow. I pretty much always have one boob spilling out and the other with a big gap twixt bra and boob.


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