I've been back at work for 6 weeks now (4 part time and 2 full time), and just today, I finished going through the mail that had accumulated while I was gone.
And that was just the physical mail. I still have a folder of email to come back to and "handle".
I long ago gave up on feeling caught up at home. Perhaps I should surrender the hope of being caught up at work, too- just embrace the never-ending to do list in all aspects of my life!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Win or Fail?
I love my husband dearly, and he had many wonderful qualities. The ability to figure out a reasonable schedule that ensures we eat dinner roughly on time is not one of them. For some reason that is obscure to me, he likes to do our weekly grocery shopping at the end of the day on Sunday. Sometimes Pumpkin will go with him, but usually she wants to stay home with me and Petunia. This pretty much guarantees that I will not be able to start dinner until he gets home with the groceries- even if by some miracle I have all the ingredients that I need before we do our weekly shopping, I have yet to figure out how to get dinner started while also caring for one hyper toddler and one baby whose sole clingy time of the day is the late afternoon. (This is going to be a serious challenge in March, when my parents will be back home and no longer caring for Petunia during the week. Right now, my Mom helps with Pumpkin, Petunia, and/or the cooking. But I digress.)
Tonight, I decided that I wanted to try a new recipe for dinner: carrot cake pancakes. (Yes, I'm a big fan of breakfast for dinner, particularly since bacon is one of the few meat-like substances that Pumpkin will eat.) We eat dinner between 6:15 and 6:30 most nights. Most of my recipes take between 15 and 30 minutes to make. It takes Hubby an hour to do the grocery shopping and put the groceries away. Given all of this information, you can easily determine that Hubby needed to be leaving to go grocery shopping no later than 5 p.m. So what was he doing at 4:45? Yard work. FAIL.
I managed to get him inside and heading towards the store by 5, but then his phone rang, and he spent the next 10 minutes talking to a good friend from New Zealand. So I was predictably about 15 minutes late starting dinner. FAIL. Then Pumpkin threw a fit after one of her potty breaks because I wan' Mommy to wash my hands!!!! (Big mess of FAIL.) And when I told her that we'd have to hurry because I was making dinner, she looked up at me and smiled. Can I help? "Of course you can, honey," I say, while thinking that his will make us even later. FAIL, FAIL, FAIL.
Amazingly, Pumpkin was a good little helper while we made pancakes. She stopped banging the measuring cup against the bowl when I asked. She did not put her fingers in the egg mixture when I told her not to. She watched me pour the 2 cups of shredded carrots into the batter and asked What is that?. Now, Pumpkin is no fan of vegetables (she's no fan of many foods, actually). In fact, there is not a single vegetable that she likes. The most vegetable-like food item that she has ever eaten willingly is a sweet potato fry. So I certainly didn't want to tell her that the mass of orange stuff I was pouring into the pancake batter was carrots. Think fast, Cloud. Tell her it is something cool. "That's magic stuff, honey." But what is it, Mommy? "Uh.... magic, yummy stuff." MAJOR FAIL. (Late in the day on Sunday is not one of my more creative times, but to be fair, I still can't think of what cool thing I could call a cup full of shredded carrots. Ideas, anyone?)
Around this time, Petunia starts fussing. It is getting late. She wants to be nursed. Hubby manages to distract her for awhile, but pretty soon, it is clear that she will not put up with her evening meal being delayed much longer. I start getting flustered. I look at the pancakes cooking on the stove and get impatient. I turn them too soon. They don't cook all the way through. FAIL.
Hubby and Pumpkin sit down for dinner. I nurse Petunia. Hubby puts the second batch of undercooked pancakes back in the skillet, but to no avail. They remain gooey in the middle. Luckily, there are four nice ones, one of which is on Pumpkin's plate.
She eats three whole bites of a pancake with carrots in it. I like it, Mommy! she proclaims, before turning her attention to eating a blob of butter off of her plate. WIN.
Tonight, I decided that I wanted to try a new recipe for dinner: carrot cake pancakes. (Yes, I'm a big fan of breakfast for dinner, particularly since bacon is one of the few meat-like substances that Pumpkin will eat.) We eat dinner between 6:15 and 6:30 most nights. Most of my recipes take between 15 and 30 minutes to make. It takes Hubby an hour to do the grocery shopping and put the groceries away. Given all of this information, you can easily determine that Hubby needed to be leaving to go grocery shopping no later than 5 p.m. So what was he doing at 4:45? Yard work. FAIL.
I managed to get him inside and heading towards the store by 5, but then his phone rang, and he spent the next 10 minutes talking to a good friend from New Zealand. So I was predictably about 15 minutes late starting dinner. FAIL. Then Pumpkin threw a fit after one of her potty breaks because I wan' Mommy to wash my hands!!!! (Big mess of FAIL.) And when I told her that we'd have to hurry because I was making dinner, she looked up at me and smiled. Can I help? "Of course you can, honey," I say, while thinking that his will make us even later. FAIL, FAIL, FAIL.
Amazingly, Pumpkin was a good little helper while we made pancakes. She stopped banging the measuring cup against the bowl when I asked. She did not put her fingers in the egg mixture when I told her not to. She watched me pour the 2 cups of shredded carrots into the batter and asked What is that?. Now, Pumpkin is no fan of vegetables (she's no fan of many foods, actually). In fact, there is not a single vegetable that she likes. The most vegetable-like food item that she has ever eaten willingly is a sweet potato fry. So I certainly didn't want to tell her that the mass of orange stuff I was pouring into the pancake batter was carrots. Think fast, Cloud. Tell her it is something cool. "That's magic stuff, honey." But what is it, Mommy? "Uh.... magic, yummy stuff." MAJOR FAIL. (Late in the day on Sunday is not one of my more creative times, but to be fair, I still can't think of what cool thing I could call a cup full of shredded carrots. Ideas, anyone?)
Around this time, Petunia starts fussing. It is getting late. She wants to be nursed. Hubby manages to distract her for awhile, but pretty soon, it is clear that she will not put up with her evening meal being delayed much longer. I start getting flustered. I look at the pancakes cooking on the stove and get impatient. I turn them too soon. They don't cook all the way through. FAIL.
Hubby and Pumpkin sit down for dinner. I nurse Petunia. Hubby puts the second batch of undercooked pancakes back in the skillet, but to no avail. They remain gooey in the middle. Luckily, there are four nice ones, one of which is on Pumpkin's plate.
She eats three whole bites of a pancake with carrots in it. I like it, Mommy! she proclaims, before turning her attention to eating a blob of butter off of her plate. WIN.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Trivia
I was updating my post on scientists who are mothers, and I noticed something: all three of the female biological and physical scientists who won Nobel Prizes in 2009 are mothers.
Surely that lays to rest the idea that it is impossible to combine a career in science with motherhood?
Surely that lays to rest the idea that it is impossible to combine a career in science with motherhood?
Monday, February 08, 2010
Potty Broken
Last week was my first week back to full time work, and it went about as you'd expect- I'm now much more caught up at work and much less on top of things at home. Mornings and evenings are extra chaotic, as we try to find a new routine. My parents are here this month (staying in a rented house nearby, not with us), taking care of Petunia during the day. Therefore, we don't have to have the full new routines worked out. There is still only one child to get ready for day care, and there is someone here when I get home to help with Pumpkin while I nurse Petunia and try to get dinner started.
It is a very good thing that we have some extra adult help this week, because we are full-on potty training. Pumpkin moved up to an older kids room at day care recently, and her teachers declared her ready to potty train. I can't argue with them- she certainly has the awareness and the skills. The problem is, she is not really that motivated to do it. She doesn't see the point. Her diapers are working well for her, so why change? I can't really argue with that, either. It does seem that the advantages are mostly for the grown ups around her, all of whom are frankly getting a little tired of changing stinky toddler diapers.
With the liberal use of M&Ms (one for sitting on the potty, more for actually doing something while there), we have mostly overcome the resistance to using the potty. She actually forgets to ask for her M&Ms most times now. When she is in underwear, she (mostly) remembers to tell us she needs to go potty, too, although we do help out with frequent reminders.
The problem is that she doesn't want to wear her underwear. She says they make her pee. I've tried to explain that "no, they make you notice when you've gone pee", but she doesn't quite get that. And despite our attempts to make accidents no big deal, she is clearly very bothered by them. So it is with impeccable logic that she resists our attempts to get her to wear her new Dora underwear. We have put them on a screaming, crying, struggling little girl more than once, but that just feels wrong to me. I'd back off the potty training, but she is doing absolutely great at day care- no accidents most days. She does great at home, too, once we get the underwear on her. On Sunday, I hit upon the idea of putting a matching pair of underwear on the rag doll her Mimi made her for Christmas (a cute little doll who was promptly given the unlikely name of "Grat"). That worked great, but only for a day.
So, does anyone out there have a good explanation for Pumpkin about why she should wear her underwear? She is not getting the "value proposition", as we used to say in my consulting days.
--------------------------
I've been posting comments on science blogs again... so there are no doubt some annoyed people who clicked through expecting to find a blog about life in biotech and instead found... potty training. What can I say? I can't really post about work. Biotech is too small of a world. However, I do have a relatively recent post about living with the job insecurity that comes with the territory in biotech.
It is a very good thing that we have some extra adult help this week, because we are full-on potty training. Pumpkin moved up to an older kids room at day care recently, and her teachers declared her ready to potty train. I can't argue with them- she certainly has the awareness and the skills. The problem is, she is not really that motivated to do it. She doesn't see the point. Her diapers are working well for her, so why change? I can't really argue with that, either. It does seem that the advantages are mostly for the grown ups around her, all of whom are frankly getting a little tired of changing stinky toddler diapers.
With the liberal use of M&Ms (one for sitting on the potty, more for actually doing something while there), we have mostly overcome the resistance to using the potty. She actually forgets to ask for her M&Ms most times now. When she is in underwear, she (mostly) remembers to tell us she needs to go potty, too, although we do help out with frequent reminders.
The problem is that she doesn't want to wear her underwear. She says they make her pee. I've tried to explain that "no, they make you notice when you've gone pee", but she doesn't quite get that. And despite our attempts to make accidents no big deal, she is clearly very bothered by them. So it is with impeccable logic that she resists our attempts to get her to wear her new Dora underwear. We have put them on a screaming, crying, struggling little girl more than once, but that just feels wrong to me. I'd back off the potty training, but she is doing absolutely great at day care- no accidents most days. She does great at home, too, once we get the underwear on her. On Sunday, I hit upon the idea of putting a matching pair of underwear on the rag doll her Mimi made her for Christmas (a cute little doll who was promptly given the unlikely name of "Grat"). That worked great, but only for a day.
So, does anyone out there have a good explanation for Pumpkin about why she should wear her underwear? She is not getting the "value proposition", as we used to say in my consulting days.
--------------------------
I've been posting comments on science blogs again... so there are no doubt some annoyed people who clicked through expecting to find a blog about life in biotech and instead found... potty training. What can I say? I can't really post about work. Biotech is too small of a world. However, I do have a relatively recent post about living with the job insecurity that comes with the territory in biotech.
Monday, February 01, 2010
Not Enough Time
One of the nice things about having a second child is the chance to look back and realize that some of things you thought during your first round of parenting were just plain wrong, based on your extremely small sample size (n=1!) and parenting hubris.
For instance, when Pumpkin was a baby, I never really understood why so many working mothers felt that they didn't get enough time with their babies. Pumpkin started her day at 5 a.m., and went to bed at about 8. I left for work at 7:40 a.m., and picked her up from day care at about 4:45 p.m.. Even disregarding the multiple middle of the night wake-up calls, I felt like I spent a lot of time playing with her.
Petunia has been sleeping until about 6 or 6:30 a.m. Pumpkin bounds out of bed at about the same time most days. I leave for work at 7:45 a.m. on good days, 8 a.m. on the majority of days. The time between waking up and leaving for work is a whirlwind of activity, during which two adults try to get themselves and a toddler ready for the day. Petunia nurses a couple of times and produces a few dirty diapers, but mostly just sits in her bouncy chair and watches the chaos swirl around her. Petunia currently stays at home during the day*- she was with Hubby on my work days in January, and is with my parents for the month of February now that Hubby and I are both back at work full time. I leave work at 4:30 p.m. and drive to day care to pick Pumpkin up. We get home between 5:15 and 5:30. I have time to nurse Petunia, but then I need to start dinner, and by the time we're finished with dinner, Petunia is heading for bed. She goes to sleep between 6:30 and 7:00 most nights, sometimes staying awake until 7:30 if her afternoon nap ran late.
Tonight, she fell asleep not long after 6:30. I had just nursed her, and she was well and truly out. But I didn't put her down right away. I wanted just a few more minutes holding my sweet baby.
Of course, today was the first Monday I've worked since Petunia was born. I'll get used to our new routine. We still have weekends, but those are really pretty chaotic, too, since we also have a toddler to entertain. I genuinely like working, but I'm still a bit wistful about the sudden decrease in baby snuggling time. I keep reminding myself that (1) I would be a lousy stay at home mom and (2) even if I were a stay at home mom, I wouldn't get that much baby snuggle time- see the comment above about entertaining a toddler.
So really, the problem isn't that I work. It is that Petunia is my second baby, and the first baby is now an intense, funny little toddler, while Petunia is a very easy-going, smiley baby. I think it will all work out, though. Petunia does stick up for herself and demand our attention sometimes. She often fusses when she's in her swing at dinnertime. If one of us picks her up and holds her on our lap, she calms right down, even before Pumpkin starts pulling funny faces and making funny noises to try to elicit a laugh. I think Petunia just wants to be part of the family dinner. I can't begrudge her that, even if it means that I scarf down my meal, and/or eat it one handed, while balancing Petunia on my lap. In fact, I think family dinner may become a favorite time of day.
*The experienced day care parents are now nodding knowingly and observing to themselves that all of this will change when Petunia starts day care. They are right. She'll probably nap in the car on the way home from day care, and move her bedtime later. I may be the only working parent in history to actually think this will be a good thing.
For instance, when Pumpkin was a baby, I never really understood why so many working mothers felt that they didn't get enough time with their babies. Pumpkin started her day at 5 a.m., and went to bed at about 8. I left for work at 7:40 a.m., and picked her up from day care at about 4:45 p.m.. Even disregarding the multiple middle of the night wake-up calls, I felt like I spent a lot of time playing with her.
Petunia has been sleeping until about 6 or 6:30 a.m. Pumpkin bounds out of bed at about the same time most days. I leave for work at 7:45 a.m. on good days, 8 a.m. on the majority of days. The time between waking up and leaving for work is a whirlwind of activity, during which two adults try to get themselves and a toddler ready for the day. Petunia nurses a couple of times and produces a few dirty diapers, but mostly just sits in her bouncy chair and watches the chaos swirl around her. Petunia currently stays at home during the day*- she was with Hubby on my work days in January, and is with my parents for the month of February now that Hubby and I are both back at work full time. I leave work at 4:30 p.m. and drive to day care to pick Pumpkin up. We get home between 5:15 and 5:30. I have time to nurse Petunia, but then I need to start dinner, and by the time we're finished with dinner, Petunia is heading for bed. She goes to sleep between 6:30 and 7:00 most nights, sometimes staying awake until 7:30 if her afternoon nap ran late.
Tonight, she fell asleep not long after 6:30. I had just nursed her, and she was well and truly out. But I didn't put her down right away. I wanted just a few more minutes holding my sweet baby.
Of course, today was the first Monday I've worked since Petunia was born. I'll get used to our new routine. We still have weekends, but those are really pretty chaotic, too, since we also have a toddler to entertain. I genuinely like working, but I'm still a bit wistful about the sudden decrease in baby snuggling time. I keep reminding myself that (1) I would be a lousy stay at home mom and (2) even if I were a stay at home mom, I wouldn't get that much baby snuggle time- see the comment above about entertaining a toddler.
So really, the problem isn't that I work. It is that Petunia is my second baby, and the first baby is now an intense, funny little toddler, while Petunia is a very easy-going, smiley baby. I think it will all work out, though. Petunia does stick up for herself and demand our attention sometimes. She often fusses when she's in her swing at dinnertime. If one of us picks her up and holds her on our lap, she calms right down, even before Pumpkin starts pulling funny faces and making funny noises to try to elicit a laugh. I think Petunia just wants to be part of the family dinner. I can't begrudge her that, even if it means that I scarf down my meal, and/or eat it one handed, while balancing Petunia on my lap. In fact, I think family dinner may become a favorite time of day.
*The experienced day care parents are now nodding knowingly and observing to themselves that all of this will change when Petunia starts day care. They are right. She'll probably nap in the car on the way home from day care, and move her bedtime later. I may be the only working parent in history to actually think this will be a good thing.
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