Trip Story: Sequoia National Park

The first real "destination" on our California road trip was Sequoia National Park. I can't really say why I picked this as something we had to see on this trip. I'd never seen it (although I have seen the redwoods). I thought my husband might like it, and hoped that Pumpkin would be impressed by the big trees. I figured Petunia would just be happy for a chance to take a spin in the hiking backpack- she loves that thing.

We stayed for two nights in the area, basing ourselves in Three Rivers. We had wonderful weather for our visit- we were even able to spend some time in the hotel's pool and spa, which delighted the girls.

But the main attraction was the big trees, so we headed to the park entrance fairly early on our first morning in town. The road into the park wound around quite a bit, so it took longer than we expected to get to the visitor's center, and Pumpkin had her first experience of feeling a little car sick. Thankfully, this was the one and only time she felt car sick on our trip- it was brought on, we think, by the fact that she was trying to color while we drove, so when we got to driving the coast road south from Monterey later in the vacation, we just told her not to color, and she didn't have any trouble. I, on the other hand, had to be the driver and drink a fizzy drink and eat pretzels almost continuously. So I guess the propensity towards carsickness is one bad trait of mine she doesn't seem to have inherited!

Anyway, back to the trees. They were tall.

I had picked out the "hike" to see the General Sherman Tree (really a stroll along an easy path) as our morning's activity. As predicted, Petunia liked riding in the hiking backpack. Pumpkin liked the walk down and was moderately impressed by the big trees.

We were all impressed by a sighting of a black bear.

Petunia said "rarrr" at it. Pumpkin was excited by the idea of telling her friends at day care about it. Hubby and I were glad that it was close enough to be impressive (despite the poor quality picture we managed to take) but not so close as to be scary.

The General Sherman tree is impressive more in thinking about how old and big it is than in the seeing of it, but it was still worth the trip. There was also a fallen tree with a tunnel through it nearby, which amused the girls.

The walk back up to our car required some quick parenting thinking- Pumpkin was whining that she was tired, and there was no way I wanted to carry her back up that hill. So I came up with the idea that we should count the stairs, and miraculously, that worked. I now know that there are 80 stairs on the path between the upper parking lot and the General Sherman tree.

We had thought that we might drive over to the other end of the park and have a picnic lunch, then take the scenic drive into King's Canyon for naptime, but given how long the drive into the park had taken, we decided that wasn't a good idea. (One of many examples on this trip where we decided to skip something because we couldn't realistically expect our girls to do well with the activity.)

So we drove down to the Giant Forest Museum and had out picnic lunch there. We walked around the museum a bit, then drove back into town while the girls napped. Our visit to Sequoia National Park had been fun, but woefully incomplete. We've mentally marked it as a place to return to when the girls are a bit older.

After nap, we played in the aforementioned pool, had a low key dinner at the local pizza place, and then went to bed early, happy with our day.

The next day, we drove to a nearby state recreation area, Slick Rock. There is easy access to the Kaweah River from the parking area, so we walked down and had our morning snack by the river. (Or is it already Lake Kaweah here? I can't tell from the maps I have.)

We admired some little frogs in a calm, shallow pool. Then we splashed out feet in the river water, watched the birds fly overhead, and just enjoyed the scenery and the nice day.

(I swear that Hubby didn't take a picture of the backs of our heads on purpose... but it is sort of convenient that he did, isn't it?)

Eventually, we decided it was time to climb back in the car, and we headed to a nearby town for another picnic lunch. We drove through farmland for awhile before connecting with CA-99 and heading north towards our next stop.

On Having Too Much to Do, Lists, and Stress Reduction

Ginger, over at Ramble Ramble, had a post up today asking for ideas for handling stress at work, and "switching off" when at home.

My husband can tell you that I still have some work to do in this regard, too. However, I've gotten a lot better at this over the years, and I do have some ideas about how to reduce stress caused by having to much to do, so I took some time on my lunch break to answer Ginger. Long time readers will not be surprised to find that my beloved lists feature in my answer. Here is what I said, expanded and edited to make it more clear, now that I have the time to do so:

For me, the only way to deal with "too much work to do" stress is to get the work organized and under control. I find that what stresses me out the most isn't a full to do list- it is the feeling that I might get surprised by some item on my to do list that needed to be done earlier than I thought. In other words, it is the feeling that I could open my email in the morning and find a five alarm fire. My method to minimize this stress is to make sure that I know what is actually urgent, and concentrate on that stuff first. If some other stuff comes up and I start to get distracted, I write that other stuff on my to do list, to worry about later. If I focus on the things that are actually urgent, I can usually clear them off my list and leave work for the day feeling free and clear. I don’t worry about the other things, because they are written down, so I won’t forget about them. I still have a full to do list, but I’m fairly confident that the things that had to get done are done. For this to work over the long term, though, the list of things that must get done can't just be set by external deadlines, but must also be set by the internal deadlines of my projects.

That is pretty wishy-washy, so I’ll try to explain. Right now, I’m revamping one of the key systems I manage. I have promised to deliver the updated system by the end of the month. I also have a complicated (but dull) tracking spreadsheet to complete for my boss, a report to write for my boss’s boss, an interview to schedule to allow me to hire some help, and a bunch of random little things that need doing.

I have a big list with all of these things on it, and more (I have a couple of other big projects running now, which I've left out for clarity). But I knew that TODAY I needed to finish that stupid spreadsheet (external deadline- the boss needs it tomorrow), complete some tasks and schedule some meetings to move my revamping project along (internal deadline- no one would notice if these slipped, but they'd put my project behind schedule), and get the interview scheduling process underway (another internal deadline- I just know that scheduling interviews takes a long time). I got all of those things done, so I walked out the door at my usual time, and have left the rest of the work in the office- mentally as well as physically.

The report needs to be written within a week, so it can wait until tomorrow or Wednesday. There are a lot of other tasks on my revamping project, but I know from my project plan that they aren’t gating anything, so they can wait, too.

The random little things on my to do list are the emails and in person requests from other people, trying to get their to do list items done. I have a two step process for deciding how to handle those. First, I ask myself: can I do this in less time than it takes to write it on my list? If the answer is yes, I do it. If the answer is no, I ask: is it more urgent than whatever I'm working on right now? If the answer is yes, I do it, if it is no, I write it on my list. Of course, the answer to this second question is sometimes hard to know- it depends not just on my priorities but also on the priorities of the other people at work. Sometimes I have to ask my boss for guidance, but this is also something that I've gotten better at gauging for myself as I've gotten more work experience. However, I do make a point of trying to help people out unless they are serial procrastinators who are always coming to me with requests that are urgent only because they failed to plan. If I can't get to their request immediately, I will at least tell them when I can do it, and will reconsider if that is going to make them miss a deadline. This is just the nice thing to do, and maybe it buys me some good deadline meeting karma.

I’m also pretty vicious with myself about procrastination. If I catch myself goofing off too much at work, I start writing daily to do lists, as I described in my post on working through a slump.

This system works really well for me, allowing me to switch off from work and focus on my family (and blog!) at home. This was true even at previous jobs that required me to carry a blackberry. I set boundaries about how often I'd check it, and told people that if something was really urgent, they should go ahead and call me at home. At first they don't believe me, but eventually, they realize that I'm serious. I'm not reading email, so if they truly need an answer right now, they had better call. I'm selective in who I give my home phone number to, so this has never led to a bunch of phone calls at night. People are far more willing to send emails during off hours than to make phone calls.

Of course, none of this helps if the stress is from general jerks playing politics, etc- then I find that yoga and beer help.

What about you? How do you keep work stress levels down and keep work out of your home time?

Petunia Turns Two

A week ago today, Petunia celebrated her second birthday. I'm still a bit in shock that my baby is two. (Not to mention the fact that her big sister is so, well, big.) Petunia's language isn't as clearly enunciated as Pumpkin's was at this age, and- as I learned at her two year check up- she is on the short side (10th percentile). So it is easy for us to think of her as a baby. But all of the sudden, she is two.

She has lots of words, and almost every single one of them has a cute pronunciation, unique to her. Some of our favorites are:

• ee-bye, for butterfly
• rella, for Cinderella (which, thanks to her big sister, is one of her favorite shows. She likes the slapstick humor in it, though- she laughs out load when the mice splash milk in the cat's eye, for instance).
• dee-dee, for empty or fishy. You tell the difference because she signs "fish" if she means fishy.
• boppy, for potty (which was confusing at first, because "boppy" is what Pumpkin used to say when she wanted to nurse. Petunia says "nuh" and signs "more")

She loves to take her baby (or one of her stuffed animals) for a walk around the block in the doll stroller.  This delights the neighbors- it is very cute. It is an exercise in patience for the adult accompanying her, though, as we frequently change directions, occasionally cross the street, and stop and smell lots of flowers. We also stop to hug any fire hydrant we pass. For some reason, Petunia hugs fire hydrants when she sees them. We can't figure out why, beyond the fact the hydrants are about the same height as she is.

She loves to play "Ring around the Rosie", and when that gets dull (and dizzying), we can easily switch her to  "The Noble Duke of York", which, let me tell you, gets tiring on about the fifth repetition. But she's so cute when she signs "more" and says "muh", that I usually tell myself it is good exercise and do it again.

She's a bit of a mommy's girl, but she likes to dance with Daddy. Her favorite right now is "Rehab", by Amy Winehouse. She's started signing along to the "no, no, no" part. My husband is very proud. I'm fairly annoyed with him, but grateful it isn't something even less appropriate. I prefer her rendition of "Wheels on the Bus", which she likes to do, complete with actions.

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Of course, we had a little party for Petunia. Two of her classmates came over, and my parents and sister were here. We had a jumpy. It arrived early in the morning, when we were still rushing around getting the house ready for the party.  Pumpkin and Petunia pestered us so much about going into the jumpy that we deflated it until we were ready. Petunia sat at the door and stared at it forlornly.

She had lots of fun in the jumpy when we reinflated it.

After we played for awhile, we had lunch, followed by cupcakes. I got them from Jennywennycakes again- I knew I wouldn't have the time to make them. They were both cute and yummy again, of course, even though Jenny was doing me a favor and squeezing us in last minute (with all the planning for the trip, I forgot to put in our order early). I had her do a bird theme because Petunia likes birds- "bird" was one of her first words and signs.

Pumpkin loved the cupcakes, and so did the adults. Petunia liked the frosting, and we got the requisite photos of her with frosting smeared all over her face.

Then it was naptime.

After nap, Petunia opened her gifts. One of the first cards she opened had some money in it for her. She clutched it to her chest and didn't want us to take it away from her. Once we got her piggybank out, though, she really got into putting the money into her bank. She'd finish putting in the money, and then look up and sign and say "more!"

She also got into opening the presents once she realized there were new things for her in those packages. She ripped paper off with abandon. She stopped to play with each new present- she's still young enough that the new toy in front of her is more tempting than the packages waiting to be opened.

This is in contrast to Pumpkin at her last birthday. Apparently at the age of four, the packages are more tempting.

With some coaching, though, she eventually got through all her gifts. We had a reprise of the cupcakes after dinner, and all agreed: it was a good day. Even if my little baby is now a big two year old toddler!

Weekend Reading: The Men Write about Work-Life Balance Edition

I've been reading a lot about work-life balance lately, and it has all been written by men.

It all started when I followed a link from my stats page to the search results that led someone to my Work-Life Manifesto post, and found, on the same results page, this post from a programmer and dad who is working fewer hours... and finding that his productivity hasn't really suffered. (Sound familiar?)

That led me to the Signal to Noise blog from 37signals. They have a lot to say about not working insane hours- here's a post I liked. I really like this quote:

"If you only have 32 hours this week to get something done, you’re not going to waste time."

A comment on one of their posts led me to this very inspirational interview with the CEO of Great Harvest Bread. I recommend reading the entire interview, but here's a quote that resonated with me:

"An important rule: never let anyone -- yourself included -- make you "pay" for taking a vacation. You work a bit harder before, but it's because you naturally feel like it. You work a bit harder when you get back, often, because you feel like it. But don't ever buy in to other people's myth that the work should stack up. It shouldn't, or something's broke."

And then someone's Twitter feed (probably @cydharrell) led me to the Study Hacks blog, which has recently "graduated" (sorry, couldn't resist) from writing only about how to have a decent life as a successful student to how to have a decent life as a successful working person. I'm finding a lot to think about in the series of posts about being a "career craftsman"- for instance this one about how following your passion may not lead to occupational bliss.

So why, exactly, have we let the work-life balance issue get framed as a "working mother's issue?"

Trip Story: Pasadena and Bakersfield

I'm finally making time to write up the first day of our California Car Trip. I didn't intend for this post to be so long in coming, but I came back from vacation to immediately turn around and attend a local conference, then we had Petunia's two year birthday party and an out of town guest, and Hubby had a week long series of meetings at work, starting at 8 or 8:30 every day and ending no earlier than 5. (Seriously, who schedules something like this? I think they should send the partners of all the employees flowers, because this sort of thing upsets the delicate balance of things....) But now Petunia is home sick- a sore throat, from the looks of it, but nothing serious, and she's already on the mend- and that week long series of meetings at Hubby's work means that I'm taking the day off with her. So I am turning my attention from the string of DVDs she likes to watch when she's sick and writing a post.

Anyway, back to the trip... We left home after dinner and bath on Thursday night, and drove a couple of hours north and east to Pasadena. Petunia slept most of the way (it was pretty much her bedtime when we left). Pumpkin looked out the window, insisted on listening to her music, and asked us a seemingly endless stream of questions before she finally fell asleep, too. It was a good start to the trip.

I had booked us into a Howard Johnson near Pasadena City College- I figured there was no point being in the thick of the trendier part of Pasadena, since we were arriving late and leaving after breakfast to go to Kidspace, our first tourist stop on the trip. The hotel worked well for us, and was at least $100 cheaper than the option I had looked at in the more happening part of town, so that was at least one lodging win for the trip.

Kidspace is a pretty cool place. Unbelievably, I have not a single "failed" photo from this stop (i.e., a photo without one of my kids' faces in it), so I cannot provide photographic evidence- you'll just have to take my word for it. We started in the toddler room, which was a pretty standard play area for young toddlers. It was nice, but nothing special. We should have skipped it- but it did keep the kids entertained while we studied the map and figured out what we should go see. There was a splash fountain, and an indoor exhibit with some really well-done climbing features that Pumpkin decided looked to scary for her. They had a small bug exhibit. Pumpkin thought it was cool to see a tarantula, while Petunia preferred the butterflies. There was an outdoor garden with some great water play areas. But the highlight for our girls was definitely the tricycles- there was an area for preschoolers with marked lanes and traffic signs. Pumpkin absolutely loved stopping at the stop signs. We can only hope that this is foreshadowing for her qualities as a driver when she is older! There were also some smaller trikes in a less structured area for toddlers. Petunia was thrilled to have her own trike to ride. She is too little for the ones we have at home. She pushed the trike around with her feet with a big grin on her face, and screamed at us when we told her it was time to go.

We had lunch at the surprisingly decent Kidspace cafe, spent a little time on the good public playground outside the museum, drove by the Rose Bowl (it was literally right next door), and then headed out of town.

Our eventual destination was Three Rivers, which would serve as our base for a visit to Sequoia National Park. I didn't want to make the entire four hour drive in one go, though, so we stopped in Bakersfield. The drive to Bakersfield was surprisingly pretty- the freeway cuts through hills that in September are the color of browned butter, beautiful from a distance, but parched and scrubby looking up close. The hills are dotted with grey boulders and muted green trees that look perpetually windswept.

I had picked out the California Living Museum as a good stop in Bakersfield, and I was right. It is a small zoo, focused entirely on animals native to California. The size was perfect for a short stop,  and they have done a good job landscaping it to give you the feeling of space.

We spent a lot of time looking at the mountain lions and bobcats, saying "meow".

We also spent a fair amount of time looking at the bears, saying "rarrr".

And Petunia waved bye-bye every time we walked away from an animal, which was just as cute as it sounds.

All in all, it was a good stop. From there, we headed to the restaurant I'd picked out for dinner: a local brew pub called Lengthwise.

The food and beer were good, not great, but they had an old Ms. PacMan game in the corner, and we all got a kick out of that. Pumpkin and I both took turns playing, but Hubby was the real master. We eventually tore him away from the console and left. We stopped by a park to run some of the wiggles out, and then strapped everyone into our car and head off for our next stop.