But today, I resigned.
There was no blaze of glory, just a letter of resignation. I will not be going into the gory details here. I will say that I have a great deal of respect for my soon to be former colleagues, and will be leaving bearing only good will towards them and the company.
But I just do not fit into the culture that has evolved there, and it is time to go while I can still do so gracefully and hopefully leave them with good will towards me, too.
I have neither a transition plan at my current job nor any firm plans for what I'll be doing next. So there's a lot to figure out.
I have a lot of reflecting to do, too. This is a scary move- I've been laid off before, and I've resigned to go to another job before, but I've never quit without my next step lined up. It feels so... I am not sure what- arrogant, maybe?- to be quitting a job with nothing else lined up.
However, Mr. Snarky and I have a fairly large buffer of money in the bank. It is there to buffer against lay offs, but also to buffer our lives against our jobs.
So, I took the leap. I am a bit excited, too. I am trying to give myself the pep talk I need to trust that I can aim for my biggest ambitions and be OK, while also being realistic about probabilities of success and our mortgage.
Once I figure out more details, maybe I'll be able to post more of them here.
I think I will hold off on the very good but rather depressing links I had been gathering for my links post. I'll post those next week.
This week, let's have a lot of good news and happy things from various people.
Jim C. Hines has gathered up essays on representation and inclusion in science fiction that appeared as guest posts his blog and has published them as an ebook. I read the essays on his blog, and they were quite good.
The Toast is an awesome site- check it out if you haven't already. And it is profitable after just 9 months!
My publisher got some nice local press:
Our children's ebooks profiled in the @ocregister and @irvineworldnews this week. #kidlit #ebooks #OrangeCounty http://t.co/pQGDK1IZk3
— xist publishing (@XistPublishing) April 15, 2014
Slomo is a familiar and popular figure on the boardwalk in Pacific Beach- Mr. Snarky and I saw him skate by many, many times when we used to live in that neighborhood and take frequent walks along the boardwalk. I never knew his backstory- but now I do.
There was also a guy who liked to skate around in nothing except thong underwear, often with his butt cheeks painted to celebrate the nearest holiday. The very first time I saw him, it was Memorial Day weekend and he had an American flag flying from his backside. I haven't seen a documentary with his story... yet.
This is a really sweet short film.
This blog of really bad real estate photos is making me giggle.
Share any good news of your own or the things that made you smile this week in the comments!
I'm rooting for you to land on your feet in a happier situation.ReplyDelete
Thanks! I'm a bit freaked out, but pretty firmly convinced this is the right thing to do. I just hope I still think that in 6 months!Delete
Delurking to send along my best wishes. I'm a long time, working mom reader that has gained a lot of perspective and inspiration from your site. So, thank you. You'll be great!ReplyDelete
Thank you, for the vote of confidence and for the nice words about my blog!Delete
Three years ago, the part of my job that I loved the most was taken away. Today, I got a part of it back--at least for a few weeks.ReplyDelete
How weird is this? I'm in exactly your situation. I also resigned without a job lined up (first time in nearly 20 years (would be 20 in June) because I needed to for my own sanity. And I need to write about this on my blog but I get these reactions like I'm crazy to resign without that job lined up. But BUT we have also been very frugal and have a nice big savings buffer for times such as these. I didn't ever think I'd need it but I guess that's what a rainy day is, right? (a mental rainy day)ReplyDelete
PS do you guys give 1 month's notice like we do in South Africa? My official last day is 30th but I'm working from home this last week.Delete
It took me a long time to get OK with using the buffer, even though I've talked and blogged about how this is one of the reasons to have it! It is very hard to just quit, I think.Delete
Also, I've struggled with the extent to which my inability to fit in to the culture that has evolved at my company is my own fault- but I finally realized it didn't matter whose fault it was (and really, it is no one's fault- it just is). I need to leave before the cultural misfit destroys the self-confidence I've worked so hard to build. I need to leave so that I can be happy and present for my kids when I'm not working, instead of needing time to recover. My boss and my colleagues are disappointed, and that is hard for me. I like these people. But I love my kids and I need to take care of my own self.
The standard here is two weeks notice. However, I have left it open to a longer transition period. My boss and I did not have time to discuss the details yesterday. That is one of the things to figure out next week.
Good luck on your transition!
I wish I'd had the courage to do that 15 years ago. I'm cheering you on. You're using your buffer money to invest in yourself, in your emotional well-being and your presence with your family. That's a good use for your money.ReplyDelete
Best of luck! Scary, but exciting, I am sure!ReplyDelete
Hello. I have been following (and loving) your blog for some time now and so wanted to say good luck. I know it probably sounds clichéd but sometimes you need to close one door before you can open a new one.ReplyDelete
I love how openly you write about this. I'm rooting for you and hope you can find a job that will better suit your needs. Exciting times!ReplyDelete
Wow, congrats! I know that had to have been a hard decision to make, but you have so many marketable qualities that I'm not worried about youReplyDelete
Congrats on leaving! You are awesome and something will work itself out.ReplyDelete
Thank you all for the kind words and resounding votes of confidence. I am going to print them out and read them when I fall into bouts of self-doubt....ReplyDelete
Congratulations! It's exciting that you have the chance to start something new and more energizing and a better fit for *you*! Good luck with the negotiations of your resignation today.ReplyDelete
The "...happy and present ... when I'm not working, instead of needing time to recover," really speaks to me, not in terms of my current situation (thank goodness and touch wood), but based on other experiences (not just work-related) and as a really, really important thing to recognize and address.ReplyDelete
GL to you as you move forward. I have 100% confidence in you, plus, congrats on having the resources to be able to do this. Any chance of arranging a late(r) start date for your next job, and doing some more extended travelling with your kids this summer -- remembering this as a goal of yours?
I'm voting for a shorter commute!ReplyDelete
I've been following your blog for quite awhile and am so excited/nervous/happy to hear about your big decision. I am rooting for you and have every confidence about the awesomeness in store for you!!ReplyDelete
I can't wait to read about your next move! Good luck and enjoy this extra time for yourself and family.ReplyDelete
Go you; I can't wait to read all about it. Enjoy this time and the breathing room to find a job that is a good fit.ReplyDelete
Excellent! Congrats on the move, and I look forward to hearing what brilliant plan you come up with. In the meantime, too bad you can't instantly turn this blog into, like, The Pioneer Woman. :)ReplyDelete
Congratulations! I got to watch two friends of mine make similar decisions (leave without another job lined up, because the job they had drained them dry), and I really admire and respect the strength that it takes to leave when you know it's time to leave, but before it's obvious to everyone else. I wish you a wonderful transition time, that hopefully will be well timed with enjoying summer with your kids=)ReplyDelete
Congrats on making that big decision! I've followed the blog for a long time from my PhD into industry and I look forward to what comes next....particularly as I expect my upcoming mat leave will effectively be my resignation as well.ReplyDelete
Good luck! You've got to do what makes you happy!ReplyDelete
Good luck on this new chapter in your life! I, too, look forward to following along as I have for the last few years.ReplyDelete
Also, The Toast is my new favorite website. I have to restrain myself from just linking to every article there on my Facebook feed, all teh time.
I gasped out loud when I read your blog this morning. Whoa! You are so brave, and smart for knowing you were done. Congratulations and good luck on finding the next thing.ReplyDelete
And thank you for the bad real estate photos! I laughed so hard I got teary, which doesn't happen very often.
I just saw your news on Twitter and came over here for details.ReplyDelete
Congratulations on making this brave move. More and more, I see people my/our age having the resources and self-knowledge to make decisions this way: based on values, happiness, bravery. What a great time of life for you. Will look forward to hearing about the next great thing you get to.
Good for you! Mazel Tov!ReplyDelete
Good for you! That must have been a really tough decision, but it's not one I think you'd even consider if you didn't truly feel like it was the right thing to do.ReplyDelete
My new job has been wonderful. There are still challenges, but they are different and new challenges. And I took this job mainly because the company and the culture here are so wonderful. I hope you find the right place for you!
For the last 4 years at my previous job, I kept saying that I should quit and start a bakery. But I knew it wasn't likely I'd do it, but it was such a nice dream to have. You now have the opportunity to figure out what your dream is and try to make it happen!
Wishing you the best!
This is a bit late, but I just wanted to say good luck with this big leap! I'm sure it will take a while to figure out where your path leads, but at the same time it's an exciting opportunity! Re-reading your post about buffers helped me get a clearer some of my priorities for short- and long-term career planning. I look forward to more insights from you as you navigate new territory!
Well, I know I linked to you but I thought I had officially congratulated you on making the move here! Belated congratulations :)ReplyDelete