I think Petunia is trying to kill me. Or at least, I can't rule that out. Her sleep has gone to hell right at a time when I am trying to get up to speed on a new project at work. It is a high profile project, and a bit political. A lot of people are depending on me to get this right, so it would be nice if I were getting more than 5 hours of broken sleep at night.
But I'm not. Petunia's still getting over the cold that coincided with the ear infection. If her congestion is doing anything similar to what mine is doing, she probably feels like her face might pop off. Plus, she's getting at least one new tooth in, possibly two. And she's hit separation anxiety a tad early, and finds it very distressing when I leave the room. (Incidentally, this phase is much less annoying the second time around- maybe because I know it ends? This time, I find the little crinkled up face and earnest tears of distress sort of cute, and I mostly want to rush back, pick Petunia up and give her hugs and kisses.)
Given all of that, it is not surprising that her sleep is not as good as it could be. It is still better than Pumpkin's was at this age- Petunia is only up 3 times a night. Pumpkin was up 5 times. The really annoying thing is that Petunia is hard to get back down after the second and third wakings and has been waking up early and in a foul mood. This morning, I took her for a walk at 5:30 because I was afraid her screaming would wake Pumpkin.
Making matters even worse is the feeling I have of a missed opportunity. My mom was here last week, helping out while Hubby was on a business trip. We had planned for her to spend some time holding Petunia in the middle of the night, to try to gently wean her off one of her (at the time) two night feedings. I had high hopes of having improved sleep. I think having those hopes dashed, and knowing that I have a good month or two (at least!) before the separation anxiety improves and I can really try again to improve things, has made the current sleep situation even harder to take.
Still, I have recently been reflecting on Pumpkin's sleep history, and feeling pretty good about how it all turned out. Pumpkin's sleep issues were hard to handle at times. OK, they were hard to handle most of time time. But we tried to do what we thought she needed, and to keep to our parenting philosophy, and here we are, with a three year old who goes to sleep on her own and has been sleeping through the night for over a year. I want to feel just as good when I look back at how Petunia learned to sleep through the night (or relearned, since we had a short period in which she slept through the night when she was about 2.5 months old). So I guess I'll just suck it up, dust off my skills for coping with sleep deprivation, and remember that this phase seems far, far longer when you're in the midst of it than it seems from the other side.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Zenbit: Fractal Tree
Location: Trail to Suicide Rock, near Idyllwild, California, USA
Date: September 9, 2006
Friday, May 21, 2010
Perfectly Exhausting
Wow, am I tired.
Hubby is out of town this week, off on a business trip. He'll be back on Sunday. One work week in which I was the sole parent has exhausted me- and I even had the excellent assistance of my mother all week. In my defense, I did have a sick baby at the start of the week (Petunia was recovering from an ear infection and high fever), and had done most of the nighttime parenting the week before, since Hubby was recovering from food poisoning. I also started a new project at work. It is a high profile project that is outside my normal area of responsibility, so it is a bit of a stretch for me. It was a truly unusual week, a confluence of several exhausting things.
Still, it is a glimpse of the life of a single parent, and it has made me very grateful for my husband. I have also been grateful for Pumpkin and Petunia. Petunia has started every day off with a smile, because she positively bounces with joy when I walk into her room in the morning- even on the days when she was sick. Pumpkin has cheered me up at the end of every work day by singing along to her favorite CD on the way home from day care. I defy anyone to remain stressed or grumpy while a sweet little voice sings "Witch Doctor" from the back seat ("ooh-eeh-ooh-ah-ah, ting-tang, walla walla bing bang"). And to top that, when the CD, a mix I made for her, reaches the song she has decided is my favorite, she demands that I sing, too. So I warble along to "Six Months in a Leaky Boat" and smile, and get home in a great mood, despite the traffic and the crazy day I left behind at work.
I often hear other mothers wonder how single parents do it. On one level, I completely agree. I don't know how they do it. But on another level, I know exactly how they do it- they same way any of us get through our lives. One day at a time, optimizing while we go, sometimes hanging on by the barest of threads, and sometimes thinking that our lives couldn't be any more perfect.
Hubby is out of town this week, off on a business trip. He'll be back on Sunday. One work week in which I was the sole parent has exhausted me- and I even had the excellent assistance of my mother all week. In my defense, I did have a sick baby at the start of the week (Petunia was recovering from an ear infection and high fever), and had done most of the nighttime parenting the week before, since Hubby was recovering from food poisoning. I also started a new project at work. It is a high profile project that is outside my normal area of responsibility, so it is a bit of a stretch for me. It was a truly unusual week, a confluence of several exhausting things.
Still, it is a glimpse of the life of a single parent, and it has made me very grateful for my husband. I have also been grateful for Pumpkin and Petunia. Petunia has started every day off with a smile, because she positively bounces with joy when I walk into her room in the morning- even on the days when she was sick. Pumpkin has cheered me up at the end of every work day by singing along to her favorite CD on the way home from day care. I defy anyone to remain stressed or grumpy while a sweet little voice sings "Witch Doctor" from the back seat ("ooh-eeh-ooh-ah-ah, ting-tang, walla walla bing bang"). And to top that, when the CD, a mix I made for her, reaches the song she has decided is my favorite, she demands that I sing, too. So I warble along to "Six Months in a Leaky Boat" and smile, and get home in a great mood, despite the traffic and the crazy day I left behind at work.
I often hear other mothers wonder how single parents do it. On one level, I completely agree. I don't know how they do it. But on another level, I know exactly how they do it- they same way any of us get through our lives. One day at a time, optimizing while we go, sometimes hanging on by the barest of threads, and sometimes thinking that our lives couldn't be any more perfect.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
A Quick Thought
If you ever think that your partner isn't doing as much work as you are around the house, arrange to have him or her go on a week long business trip, and see what you think after that.
I'm only halfway through AND I have my mom here helping, and I am more convinced than ever than ever that Hubby does his fair share around here! I'll confess that Hubby and I sometimes have that conversation about who is slacking off and who is working too hard, but in reality, we're both doing our share. I think that once you add kids to the equation, it is easy to become convinced that your partner is slacking off. Surely if he was doing his share, you'd have more time to yourself!
I'd write more, but it is housecleaning week on our chores schedule, and I need to go clean the kitchen.
I'm only halfway through AND I have my mom here helping, and I am more convinced than ever than ever that Hubby does his fair share around here! I'll confess that Hubby and I sometimes have that conversation about who is slacking off and who is working too hard, but in reality, we're both doing our share. I think that once you add kids to the equation, it is easy to become convinced that your partner is slacking off. Surely if he was doing his share, you'd have more time to yourself!
I'd write more, but it is housecleaning week on our chores schedule, and I need to go clean the kitchen.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Three Cheers for Outside the Crab
Well, it seems that it really was that easy. Pumpkin is now going to sleep on her own. There were no tears associated with this change, and there has been no more than the usual negotiating for more stories.
However, because the universe must balance things out, Petunia has an ear infection. She was miserable this weekend, running a high fever that neither acetaminophen or ibuprofen could really control, and clearly uncomfortable. I finally took her to the doctor on Sunday (after hours pediatrics- so not my regular doctor), and got the diagnosis and a prescription for antibiotics. Now, I don't usually treat ear infections with antibiotics. The latest evidence is that they'll mostly clear up on their own, and too frequent use of antibiotics can lead to problems with antibiotic resistance. But late Sunday afternoon poor Petunia was so miserable that I caved and went and got the prescription filled. I gave her the first dose at 6 p.m. Her fever was gone and she was feeling better by midnight (when she woke up for her first feed of the night). I can see why people thought antibiotics were wonder drugs when they first became available.
Petunia is staying home from day care despite the fact that she is fever free, because she is still not eating normally, and is prone to occasional bouts of extreme fussiness. No doubt her ear is still bothering her, but it is giving me flashbacks to Pumpkin's babyhood, when she would fuss and fuss for no reason I could figure out, and I couldn't calm her. I hate how helpless that makes me feel.
Anyway, my Mom was in town already, so Petunia can stay home. My Mom is here helping out while Hubby is away on a business trip. She was expecting to have lazy days at home alone, while the kids were at day care. That's not how it is working out....
However, because the universe must balance things out, Petunia has an ear infection. She was miserable this weekend, running a high fever that neither acetaminophen or ibuprofen could really control, and clearly uncomfortable. I finally took her to the doctor on Sunday (after hours pediatrics- so not my regular doctor), and got the diagnosis and a prescription for antibiotics. Now, I don't usually treat ear infections with antibiotics. The latest evidence is that they'll mostly clear up on their own, and too frequent use of antibiotics can lead to problems with antibiotic resistance. But late Sunday afternoon poor Petunia was so miserable that I caved and went and got the prescription filled. I gave her the first dose at 6 p.m. Her fever was gone and she was feeling better by midnight (when she woke up for her first feed of the night). I can see why people thought antibiotics were wonder drugs when they first became available.
Petunia is staying home from day care despite the fact that she is fever free, because she is still not eating normally, and is prone to occasional bouts of extreme fussiness. No doubt her ear is still bothering her, but it is giving me flashbacks to Pumpkin's babyhood, when she would fuss and fuss for no reason I could figure out, and I couldn't calm her. I hate how helpless that makes me feel.
Anyway, my Mom was in town already, so Petunia can stay home. My Mom is here helping out while Hubby is away on a business trip. She was expecting to have lazy days at home alone, while the kids were at day care. That's not how it is working out....
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