When I was a kid, I had a vision of what I would be like when I grew up. I always had a job of some sort. What, exactly, I thought I'd be doing would change, but I always had a career. I also had a nice home, which was stylish, yet comfy. And also tidy. This last bit is funny, because to say my room was messy as a child is an understatement of monumental proportions. But when I imagined what I'd be like as a grown up, my house was clean. Interestingly, the house of my imagination consisted of a dining room and living room. I can still almost see what I thought those would look like, but can't recall thinking about the other rooms at all.
I also imagined that I myself would be stylish and put together. Not super fashionable- that has never really appealed to me. But I would have a sense of style, and I would be confident in it.
I have actually achieved all of what I imagined, except that last part. My home is stylish enough for me. It is sometimes less tidy than I'd like, but it is tidy enough, and the recent addition has made it much, much easier to keep the living room at a level of tidiness that doesn't make me antsy. Basically, the kids' toys have been relegated to the new open space behind the sofa, so they don't bother me.
But my own sense of style? It has gone missing. I think maybe I had one when I was a younger adult, but perhaps what I actually had was a young and more fit body that looked decent in whatever clothes I decided to wear, and so the fact that I didn't have much of a sense of style wasn't really an issue. Back then, though, I didn't have the sort of home I imagined, so I wasn't living the life 12 year old me imagined then, either.
I've recently had an epiphany on the style front. I've realized that if this is something I want, I'm going to have to invest either some time or money in developing this skill. Just thinking that at some point in the future I'll magically develop a sense of style is silly. That's not how skills work.
I had been thinking of a sense of style as a trait, like eye color, but that makes no sense. Anything that involves cognition can be improved upon... so either I should work on that or I should decide I don't care about this skill. Afterall, 12 year old me was not necessarily right about what adult me should be like.
However, I think I'd be happier if I liked my clothes more. So I guess 12 year old me wins this one.
Now the question is: will I invest time or money? If I'm going the money route. I think I need something more than the Nordstrom personal shopper provides. I need someone to come look at my closet, talk to me, and figure out (1) what sort of clothes I will wear, (2) what sort of clothes I should wear, and (3) where those two things intersect. Once I'm confident in that, I'm happy to buy high end clothes, because I know they'll get worn and make me feel good when I wear them.
If I go the time route, I need to spend a lot of time shopping until I figure out (1), (2), and (3) on my own.
I don't enjoy shopping that much, so I'd rather go the money route, but I'm having a hard time convincing myself to spend the kind of money I think this would cost.
So I'm at an impasse. I'll let you know when I resolve it.
Have you ever had a "hey, that's a skill not a trait and I should work on learning it if I want to be better at that" sort of epiphany?
Where would you come in on the money vs. time decision?