Thursday, August 20, 2009


"Mommy, stay."

I was getting Pumpkin down last night, and I wanted to get up and go potty. I thought maybe she was sleepy enough that I could leave her to try to finish going to sleep on her own. I slid out of her bed, and gently extricated her fingers from my hair. She looked up at me sleepily, and patted the space on her pillow that I'd just left.

Usually, when I try to get up too early, she commands me to "lay back down!" But last night, she just said "Mommy, stay."

I leaned in and kissed her, and said I had to go potty, but that I'd come right back.

And I did come right back. I settled back into her bed, with my back to her (as she prefers- better access to my hair). I felt her little knees nestle into the small of my back, listened to her breathing get more regular, and waited for her hands to stop twirling my hair.

Then I slid out of bed again, and went off to get ready to go to bed myself.

I suspect that I'll regret not breaking Pumpkin of her bedtime Mommy habit before the new baby arrives. There will probably be some painful nights, when I have to be with the baby and Pumpkin wants me to snuggle her to sleep. But the 20-30 minutes it takes for her to fall asleep with her hand twined in my hair (the other hand is usually wrapped around the tail of her stuffed zebra) seems like so little time, really. Most mornings, she waves me bye-bye cheerfully. I occasionally have to beg for a good-bye hug and kiss. She has even started playing more independently after work, letting me crash on the sofa and rest. She seems more and more like a little girl and less and less like the "big girl toddler" she calls herself every day.

So I stay. She understands so much these days, which gives me hope that maybe we'll be able to explain the need to change the routine when it becomes necessary to do so. (This, of course, assumes that we finally come up with an explanation for our desire to change her bedtime routine that does not blame the new baby and thereby sow the seeds of sibling conflict.) I may miss this bedtime ritual more than she does, whenever we are finally forced to break it. I hope so.


  1. Assuming Daddy can handle one or the other child at bedtime, you can try to have bedtime remain the same for your Pumpkin. Just have Daddy hold and cuddle Baby while you get a rare 20-30 minutes to 1) lay down and 2) spend especially with your first born. Some things will have to change with the new baby, but some of these are not the things you think they are.

  2. That's so sweet!

    Spending 20-30 minutes putting her to bed isn't very long. When our girl doesn't nap on weekends, I'm able to put her to bed in under an hour, usually under 30 minutes, so I've been able to continue doing this on weekends while my hubby occupies the baby. It's possible to still have that time!

    And I've also noticed that at 29 months, my girl seems to be able to understand a whole lot more and is able to reason more too. She's definitely been through a development spurt recently. I love watching her grow!

  3. Oh, I hope you are both right and I don't have to rush Pumpkin on this. She is clearly "working" on the sleep thing, and she has come so far. And she's so sweet!

  4. That is really sweet. I have twin boys, 2.5, and I have just recently tried leaving their room before they fall asleep. I was amazed the first few times they let me do this without screaming and crying. Now sometimes they let me leave for a bit (always end up coming back in several times) without a word, other times one boy will simply say 'stay here', or 'sit in chair', in the softest, cutest voice.


Sorry for the CAPTCHA, folks. The spammers were stealing too much of my time.