I gave up last night. And it was a big win.
We had been trying not to start co-sleeping with Petunia. Sure, we had coslept (for part of the night) with Pumpkin, but that started when she was a lot older than Petunia is now, and didn't really last that long.
But Petunia's been waking up a lot lately, and I suspected it was because she was lonely and wanted to make sure we were still around. If you think about it, a baby really should freak out a bit when she wakes up and there is no grown up around. For most of our evolutionary history, that would have been a very bad thing, indeed. So the baby would cry, and Mom would come running and everyone would be happy.
Whether or not it is a reasonable behavior from an evolutionary standpoint, this was driving me slowly insane. Try as I might, I couldn't figure out how to arrange the night so that I could get enough sleep- i.e., at least four hours of solid, uninterrupted sleep.
So, last night, I cracked. Hubby has been resisting my idea of bringing Petunia in to sleep with us after her first wake up. He was (and is) convinced that this will start a bad habit that we will really struggle to break. But last night, I was so tired my eyes itched. I had been grumpy, short-tempered, and frankly a bit weepy all day. The status quo had to change. I didn't (and don't) care about 6 months from now- I need sleep now! So I put my foot down and insisted that we try cosleeping. I went to bed early, and at about 12:30, Hubby brought Petunia in to me. I nursed her, and laid her down next to me. She sighed happily and went back to sleep. Hubby shrugged at this and got into bed, and was soon asleep, too. I fell asleep and we all slept soundly until 4:45, when Petunia woke up. Hubby slept through this, but I nursed her again, and we snuggled back in until 6:30, when Pumpkin came running in looking for her little sister.
We're definitely trying this again tonight. Even Hubby had to admit that it was the best sleep we'd gotten in awhile.
So now I'm wondering if I should give in on the other parenting problem we're struggling with right now- namely, Pumpkin's potty issues. She almost never has a poop accident, and if she does, it is a true accident and she is really upset by it. But she has pee accidents daily. She does fine at day care most days (although she has often just had an accident when I arrive), but she almost always has at least one accident after we get home, and weekends are just a disaster.
I'm at wit's end on this. I can't figure out why she is doing it (looking for attention? asserting her control? too caught up in what she's doing and doesn't want to stop?) and nothing we've tried seems to help. We've tried various rewards schemes (each one works for a day or two and then she stops caring). We've tried a timer (she never wants to go when the timer goes off). We've tried withholding treats (no Dora until you go potty just results in a "I don't WANT to watch Dora!") We've tried ignoring the potty thing altogether and letting her go when she wants (almost never).
I'm out of ideas. So I'm wondering, should I just give up for awhile? Should i just put her back in pull ups at home for a few weeks? Or should I just keep changing her clothes (and doing lots of laundry)? Opinions? Ideas?