Tuesday, April 21, 2009

A Dilemma and a Cute Story

First, the dilemma:

We have a birds nest on our trellis over our patio. It is an obvious location, and Pumpkin (who has always liked birds) noticed the mother bird sitting on her nest. She was curious, so Hubby told her about how the Mommy bird was sitting on the egg, and the baby bird was still in the egg but would come out later. Pumpkin loved looking at the Mommy bird and telling us how the baby bird would come out later.

Well, now the Mommy bird is nowhere to be found. We suspect that the egg was stolen by a crow or something- the nest was very exposed. Pumpkin has noticed that the Mommy bird is gone. So far, we have avoided telling her where the Mommy bird has gone. This can't last though. What should we say? I'm inclined to tell her the Mommy bird moved her egg to a better nest. I suspect Hubby will want to tell some version of the truth. What do you think?


Now for the cute story:

Pumpkin has once again been having trouble with biting at day care. We're not sure why she's biting (or trying to bite- most times, the teachers catch her before she actually bites) again now. It could be because she's getting one of her final molars in, it could be because of the developmental leap she's working on now, it could be that one of the other kids at day care started biting and reminded Pumpkin of that method for expressing her displeasure... who knows. We know it is not because she doesn't have the words to express herself. She certainly has the words now. The teachers say that after she bites she pretty much gives herself the lecture about not biting, using her words, etc. She clearly knows she is not supposed to bite. I think she just doesn't yet have the necessary impulse control to stop herself.

Anyway, today after dinner she was playing with her baby dolls ("big baby" and "birthday baby", being her biggest baby doll and the baby doll she was given for her birthday, respectively). She looked big baby in the eyes and said "No biting, big baby. Don' bite . Use your words. You're in trouble." And then she marched big baby into the kitchen and put her down by the dishwasher, which is where we have her sit when we give her time out. I was surprised to see her do this, because she hasn't had to sit there for quite awhile- her more recent at home time outs have all involved putting her feet on the table during dinner, and she just gets moved away from the table for those. Clearly, the dishwasher time out spot has made an impression, though.

Next, she came back and picked up birthday baby. She delivered the same lecture, and took birthday baby to sit in time out, too.

She forgot about her babies for awhile, and played with me instead. At some point, I started bouncing her on my knees. She would laugh and then immediately say "more!" when I stopped. Eventually, I got tired and said that I wouldn't bounce her anymore. She pouted a bit, and got down off my lap. Then she turned to me and said "Use your words, Mommy. No biting. You're in trouble." And she held out her hand and led me to time out next to big baby and birthday baby.

She let me out of time out after just a little bit, though, because she wanted me to come outside and play.


Thanks for the words of encouragement on yesterday's post. Pumpkin actually slept really well last night, once she finally went down. She didn't wake up until after 5 a.m. When Hubby brought her in bed with us to finish the night, she was saying "Don' kick Mommy", which was what I told her when I put her in her crib last night. She went back to sleep easily, though, and slept until almost 7. She woke up, sat straight up, climbed onto my lap, pointed at some shoes on the floor, said "Oh! Those are Mommy's shoes!" and then launched into a description of the morning routine that we were about to start. I think the poor girl's brain is just waaaaay too busy for sleep right now. Still, we're hoping tonight's bedtime routine goes more smoothly.


  1. That's an interesting dilemma, I'd probably go for some version of the truth, while reassuring her that people take better care of their babies than birds do.

    About the biting thing, E has been biting recently, although she is mostly managing to bite my clothing. I've often had the same impulse...when I'm frustrated I often want to bite...which is very strange now that I'm thinking about it. We haven't had to cope with her biting other kids, although she got bitten a while ago. I liked how the daycare handled it, they teach the kids to say "I don't like that" (No like dat!), although I'm not sure how they handle the biter.

    Glad to hear you got better sleep last night :)

  2. Well, the truth about the bird and egg is that you don't know what happened to them. I mean, you suspect what happened--the Occam's razor answer. But you don't know for sure. What I suggest is telling her that you don't know what happened, and then start talking to her about the possibilities of what happened. This is the approach I would use (and I think it's age appropriate) because it shows that it's okay not to know the answer for sure and shows her how to think of different possibilities.

    Love the story about her putting the dolls and you in time out! You're likely right about impulse control (something I'm still working on for me!).

    Glad the night went better. I hope things keep getting better!


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