Tuesday, November 08, 2011

I'm Not Dead

... I just feel like maybe I should be.

I exaggerate. I have a head cold, courtesy of Petunia. I am sitting here drinking a pathetic virgin hot whiskey (i.e., honey and lemon in hot water- virgin because once it is done, I'm having a Benadryl), feeling sorry for myself. I wanted to sit and watch TV with my husband while I drank my pathetic drink, but he doesn't have anything not annoying recorded. Our DVR died a while back, and he never set up the Daily Show and Colbert Report again. Boo.

Even so, I don't think I have a real blog post in me tonight. So I'll just give this helpful advice to fathers and other people who have never breastfed: weaning is harder than it looks. Saying "just say no" is no more helpful in this context than it was in the context of convincing teenagers not to take drugs. And the next person who suggests this to me may be required to come to my house after work and attempt to cook dinner while the addict toddler screams at your feet, alternating between frantically signing "more" (which also for some reason only known to her, means "I want to nurse") and trying to physically push you away from the counter.

I defy anyone to withstand that and not cave and just go ahead and nurse already when the phone rings and the person on the other end tells you he's going to be 20 minutes late for dinner because there is an accident on the freeway.

And then you look at the sweet little happy face nursing and wonder why you're weaning in the first place.

And then you blow your nose for the 7000th time since walking through the door, and you remember that once you wean, you'll be able to take something stronger than Benadryl for a cold.

So you suck it up, balance the still traumatized little addict toddler on your knee while you eat your now cold dinner (which no one else is eating, anyway), and tell yourself that you'll do better tomorrow.


  1. I found, in general, any and all comments from my husband on the ease of various parts of breastfeeding/pumping/weaning were mostly met with an overwhelming desire to punch him in the nose.

    Hope you feel better soon, and that weaning gets easier!

  2. Anonymous4:26 AM

    You can watch TDS and TCR on your computer! They're on the comedy central webpage.

    As with most things, because we are lazy, we did child-led weaning. (Not completely child-led... I offered less, and also said, "Not now, when we get home" in public more as he got older.) He nursed less and less and eventually just forgot how. After a couple more attempts he gave up. That was sometime before his third birthday.

    I think you can still take something stronger than benedryl etc. You just have to say, "Mommy took a drug that could make you sick, but we can nurse again (tomorrow) when it wears off. Let me get you some cow milk and we can snuggle/watch a show/do something distracting." Please don't hit me! But there's a difference between saying, "No" and giving a good concrete reason why it can't be done now but can be done later.

    I understand when they hit the 2-3 year range, a week-long business trip away can cause them to forget how to nurse.

  3. I hope you feel better soon! Good luck with the weaning --- and if the timing isn't right for you, then you can always wean later :)

  4. Nothing but sympathy for the cold (I am not good with sick but maybe no one is) and for trying to withstand pleading and pushing and crying and whining at dinner time or anytime on your own especially when giving in culminates with a sweet snuggly toddler. Not my strength either. Hope you feel better soon.

  5. Anonymous5:46 AM

    my little one is 20 months and i am considering trying to wean by not pumping on my next business trip. and hoping my supply just dries up enough that he isn't interested when i return. he only nurses 2x a day now, but it is too hard to refuse those times!!
    good luck!

  6. My toddler turns into some sort of demon when I won't nurse him and I'm just trying to night wean. I think I've created my own monster because I'll hold out for 10 minutes and then just nurse him already because I'd rather we'd just all get some sleep. I feel your pain - I hope it goes more smoothly for you soon!

  7. Thanks for the sympathy and ideas, everyone!

    There is a lot to be said for just giving up on the weaning and trying again in a couple of weeks- I did that with Pumpkin, and it worked great. @Melissa, that is probably what I would do in your situation- just give up, nurse on demand for a week or so, and then try again.

    I have seriously considered the weaning by abandonment method! My problem is that I need to wean very slowly- I get serious mood issues as I drop feedings, and I am afraid to go cold turkey. So we're going slow. I am not trying to get rid of the before bed, middle of the night, or first thing in the morning nursing. Just all of the others. We'd been doing pretty well with just the distraction method. I think the cold just set us back.

  8. Hugs. That sounds horrible. I hate that feeling of total abandonment when the eagerly anticipated reinforcements announce that they are going to be late.

  9. I've been wondering how weaning Petunia is going as you mentioned it in an earlier post and I've been thinking of starting weaning with my 2 year old daughter. We're only doing before nap, before bed and first thing in the morning but she LOVES them and it's so hard to stop when it's just easier to keep going and she likes it so much. I've bought a book aimed at toddlers about it and we've started to read that to get the conversation going but she totally fell apart when I suggested we have breakfast instead of nurse the last few days. My milk supply has dropped dramatically but there must be still enough for it to be worth her while. Not sure what to do! I definitely am more motivated when I feel sick but then I get better and am not so committed to weaning so we're continuing on for now.

  10. Hugs to you, and feel better soon. I'm totally useless for weaning help, as BabyT just stopped nursing at 14 months, all on her own, and seemed to have totally forgotten about it by the next day. Weirdest thing ever, but easy, I guess. (Except for the horrendous moods/pain for the following week or so.)

    Not that it will likely help, but a friend weaned her toddler by offering a super-special drink together instead of nursing 1st thing in the am. I think she used hot chocolate but you could probably also use steamed milk with some sort of flavored syrup or something?

  11. I found it was a lot easier to wean at 30 months, despite what they say about 2.5 year olds. At 2.25 dd was very obstinate and so she would have certainly worn me down rather than the other way around. But I had night weaned early and had dropped the boob before a sleep or nap about 3 months before, which most certainly helped. Giving up one nurse at the time certainly worked for us.

    Oh and totally agree that hubby's comments just made my blood boil, but h ave to admit, he did really stay out of all things lactation related most of the time.

  12. the milliner6:32 PM

    "So I'll just give this helpful advice to fathers and other people who have never breastfed: weaning is harder than it looks."

    YES! Thank you for saying that.

    @Anonymous, Be very careful about just not pumping. I went on a business trip when DS was 2 and didn't pump when I got to the hotel room because I was too tired. I went about 24 hours total without BF or pumping, and I ended up getting mastitis. And that was SO not fun.


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