So I'm going to write another list, because I love lists! Really, I do.
This one had its genesis in Moxie's recent posts about wanting to do 40 fun things before her 40th birthday. I am afraid I went on a little mini-rant about taking time for yourself even if you're still married to your partner and don't have shared custody to force it upon you. And then my inner conscious called me a hypocrite, because I haven't been doing such a great job of that myself lately.
I thought about it some more, and here is the metaphor I think best captures how I feel about this: little children who are too young to really understand why the adults they love might need some time to themselves, let alone recognize when Mommy is running on empty, are a powerful tug on your time and energy. This tug is so powerful that it can suck you out to sea, like a rip current, if you aren't careful. From our water safety classes, we know that rather than directly fighting a rip current, the best thing to do is to swim perpendicular to it, until it lets go and you can make your way to shore.
Similarly, I could fight and fight to swim straight back to shore and reclaim all of my pre-motherhood interests, and I suspect I would just drown. Instead, I will swim parallel to the shore for awhile, safe in the knowledge that the rip current will ease, and I will be able to return to shore.
At first, it is just survival, as any new parent can tell you. But if you're lucky, eventually you relax and start to enjoy the swim. That is what I am aiming for: enjoying the swim. I can make my way to shore later.
It occurred to me that given how successful our Summer Fun List was, and how much I'm looking forward to doing the things on our 2013 Family Fun List, maybe a 2013 Personal Fun List would be a good idea. And so I wrote one. I find that finally doing something that I need to do for myself is a type of fun- in that I can finally stop feeling bad for not doing it- so I've include a couple of those. I refuse to include "see the dentist," though- I'll just have to find the will to do that separately.
Here's the list I came up with, in no particular order. I decided to include 12 things again, with the idea that I will try to do one a month, just like our Family Fun List.
- Buy some new underwear, already (this would be one of the things I need to do for myself and have been putting off for a variety of not so convincing reasons)
- Have a weekend away without the kids or my husband (probably I'll round someone up to go with me- one of my friends and I have been talking about doing this and/or it would be fun to go somewhere with my sister. But I could also go on my own in a pinch)
- Catch up on William Gibson's books (seriously, I love his books. Why am I several books behind?)
- Clean up the top of my dresser and jewelry box, and fix the jewelry that needs fixing, so that maybe I'll start wearing my jewelry more often. (I have some things I really like. I miss wearing them.)
- Get a personal shopper and sort out the foundations of my wardrobe, so that I can be happy when I get dressed again
- Take a bubble bath (I used to do this all the time. There is no reason I can't do it now, I just don't.)
- Take a San Diego beer tour with Mr. Snarky
- Make a mix CD or playlist with new music that I like
- Go kayaking with Mr. Snarky
- Go rollerblading (this one can be on my own if necessary)
- Go to a classical concert
- Go out to brunch (heck, I can even do this one with the kids along- I just want to go out and eat yummy breakfast food cooked by someone else)