I've been doing a lot of singing lately, which may not be a great thing for the people who have to live in the same house as I do, because I am not noted for the lyric quality of my singing voice. But a couple of weeks ago, I discovered something. Or, more accurately, I remembered something: singing cheers me up.
This (re)discovery was prompted by my decision to pull out Won't Give In, by the Finn Brothers (which is my favorite song about marriage) to pull myself out of the funk caused by my extended argument with Hubby about chores. As I was listening and singing along, I realized that I was suddenly in a very good mood.
And then I started to apply this to the rest of my life. I've been feeling a bit run down lately. At first, this really worried me. I've just started a new job that on paper is a perfect fit for me. If I'm not happy now, then maybe I really do need a major life reorg. And maybe I do, or at least some significant life tweaks. But last night, I got a pretty good night's sleep- a total of 7 hours, 5 of which were uninterrupted- and I felt really good this morning.
I'd forgotten about the insidious effects of long term sleep deprivation, and how they pervade the rest of your life. Petunia's sleep is unsettled and unpredictable. At least one night per week, she wakes up in the middle of the night and just will not go back down for a couple of hours. Even on the nights she is not throwing a middle of the night party, there is a more than 50-50 chance that she'll be up enough to ensure that my sleep is fragmented, at best. Some of this is the long run of illnesses, some of this is her age, and some of it is bad luck. Heck, some of it may even be the payoff from earlier sleep decisions we've made. Who knows. All that matters is that I'm tired, the sort of tired that falls like a big fog bank over the rest of your life.
I can usually shake the fog off at work, but by the end of the day, I feel like my synapses are firing, but not connecting. And that leaves me feeling a bit down, and prone to taking things a bit too seriously. I don't see Petunia starting to sleep through the night anytime soon, and since we don't play the lottery it is unlikely that I will suddenly find myself at leisure and able to take long naps during the day. So I've been cranking up the tunes, and singing along.
Now, if only I hadn't decided to install my iPod in Petunia's room to play the ocean sounds that provide the white noise while she sleeps....